When is the right time to get involved with a significant other's family?  I've often bounced back and forth on the spectrum of involvement when it comes to past girlfriends.  With my current gf of almost two years, as of this thanksgiving I am now feeling too close of comfort.

I've learned, in the past, that you can get too involved with their family and lose your objectivity on the relationship.

Scale 0 ( You block them on Facebook from even seeing your profile pic and then meet them at the wedding.)

 to 10:  You move into an apartment with her male relatives, become a wolf pack and forget you even have a gf.

What do you think?

Tags: boyfriends, family, friends, gf, girlfriends, husbands, in, in-laws, law, parents, More…space, wives

Views: 139

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

In a marriage or relationship headed towards marriage, the primary relationship is with the romantic partner. You have a relationship with your partner's friends and family through your partner. If your partner has a close, healthy, helpful relationship with her family, you will be helpful and somewhat close with them. If your partner has a distant, unhealthy, or unhelpful relationship, part of the romance will be creating a good relationship apart from the troublesome "family of origin."

I can't put these concepts on your scale. Maybe if I add another factor. If your partner has a +8 degree relationship with her family, your relationship to them should be +7 or +6. [It'll never be as close as she is to them.] If your partner has a negative relationship with her family, you should try to be neutral towards them.

You didn't like my definition of 10?!

*shrug*

Your scale just doesn't in itself have room for the most important consideration.

I've been asked to be the neutral go-between between my husband and my in-laws. I knew better. Even if I could be neutral, I shouldn't be. My job is to choose my husband, always. And to avoid situations where I'm forced to choose between him and anything else.

RSS

Latest Activity

Ramona the Pest replied to Belmin Bratic's discussion Martial Arts
"PFFFFT! Let them wonder. None of their business. I have gotten so many "WTF" looks for the weird stuff I do as hobbies, they roll off of me like water off of a duck's back. My daughter is the same way, LOL! You just do you, and let…"
7 minutes ago
Ramona the Pest replied to Regular Joe's discussion Learn a new language for free!
"CONGRATULATIONS JOE, TO YOU AND YOUR WIFE! :D I hope all goes well with the delivery. I myself already speak Spanish fluently. I'm what's known as a "native speaker" since I learned it from my family instead of in the classroom.…"
13 minutes ago
Kev O'Connor left a comment for Earl Foote
"Good morning Earl, I'm honoured to have you on my friends list. Kev :)"
19 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Rusty Rogers's discussion Muscle Cramps at Night? in the group Exercise
"Gentlemen. Muscle cramps can also be caused by electrolyte imbalance.  In particular, low potassium is often a culprit. The cure:  bananas and apricots. One heck of a lot cheaper than a prescription potassium supplement to boot.  Been…"
47 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"Seriously, I'm not looking forward to March Madness with bated breath.  I'll watch at least part of it, but it doesn't dominate my life...besides, I've got a ton of my children's rec league baseball and softball to…"
1 hour ago
Christopher Michael Trivett posted a photo
1 hour ago
Shane replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"^truth I was just poking fun since nobody posted up. It is a peculiarity of this place that we don't really follow sports in the forums though. Probably because there are better dedicated sites for that."
3 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"I figured he might react the way he did, but it was mainly for your sake anyway, since you listed it,"
4 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service