When is the right time to get involved with a significant other's family?  I've often bounced back and forth on the spectrum of involvement when it comes to past girlfriends.  With my current gf of almost two years, as of this thanksgiving I am now feeling too close of comfort.

I've learned, in the past, that you can get too involved with their family and lose your objectivity on the relationship.

Scale 0 ( You block them on Facebook from even seeing your profile pic and then meet them at the wedding.)

 to 10:  You move into an apartment with her male relatives, become a wolf pack and forget you even have a gf.

What do you think?

Views: 152

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

In a marriage or relationship headed towards marriage, the primary relationship is with the romantic partner. You have a relationship with your partner's friends and family through your partner. If your partner has a close, healthy, helpful relationship with her family, you will be helpful and somewhat close with them. If your partner has a distant, unhealthy, or unhelpful relationship, part of the romance will be creating a good relationship apart from the troublesome "family of origin."

I can't put these concepts on your scale. Maybe if I add another factor. If your partner has a +8 degree relationship with her family, your relationship to them should be +7 or +6. [It'll never be as close as she is to them.] If your partner has a negative relationship with her family, you should try to be neutral towards them.

You didn't like my definition of 10?!

*shrug*

Your scale just doesn't in itself have room for the most important consideration.

I've been asked to be the neutral go-between between my husband and my in-laws. I knew better. Even if I could be neutral, I shouldn't be. My job is to choose my husband, always. And to avoid situations where I'm forced to choose between him and anything else.

RSS

Latest Activity

Charles Dodd replied to Nature of a Man's discussion A bizarre dating trend I see
"I don't understand the point of your post. Maybe I'm just not reading it right. It sounds like you're trying to draw some arbitrary distinction, like "Friends are for activities and interests, whereas dates and spouses are for…"
1 hour ago
Sir replied to Sir's discussion Killing weeds in the driveway
"So far, the plants I sprayed salty water on seemed to like it --!"
2 hours ago
Sir replied to Sir's discussion Killing weeds in the driveway
"About 7 car lengths, and until I meet my maker, probably."
2 hours ago
John Muir replied to Sir's discussion Killing weeds in the driveway
"How long is your driveway? How long are you going to live there?"
3 hours ago
Mark Fickler left a comment for Salt Dragon
"Thx man."
3 hours ago
Byron Solomon left a comment for Byron Solomon
"Thanks to you too, JP! Excited to be a part of the community!"
3 hours ago
Nature of a Man replied to J. Exalto's discussion Globalism in the group The Great Debate
"Well globalism is apparently a bigger issue than mere economics. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Globalism"
3 hours ago
Charles Dodd replied to Sir's discussion Loneliness
"Brett McKay wrote a couple articles about male friendships up at the main AoM website. Here's the title and first paragraph from one: Title: Making and Keeping Man Friendships Several weeks ago we posted an article about the history and…"
3 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service