When is the right time to get involved with a significant other's family?  I've often bounced back and forth on the spectrum of involvement when it comes to past girlfriends.  With my current gf of almost two years, as of this thanksgiving I am now feeling too close of comfort.

I've learned, in the past, that you can get too involved with their family and lose your objectivity on the relationship.

Scale 0 ( You block them on Facebook from even seeing your profile pic and then meet them at the wedding.)

 to 10:  You move into an apartment with her male relatives, become a wolf pack and forget you even have a gf.

What do you think?

Tags: boyfriends, family, friends, gf, girlfriends, husbands, in, in-laws, law, parents, More…space, wives

Views: 136

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

In a marriage or relationship headed towards marriage, the primary relationship is with the romantic partner. You have a relationship with your partner's friends and family through your partner. If your partner has a close, healthy, helpful relationship with her family, you will be helpful and somewhat close with them. If your partner has a distant, unhealthy, or unhelpful relationship, part of the romance will be creating a good relationship apart from the troublesome "family of origin."

I can't put these concepts on your scale. Maybe if I add another factor. If your partner has a +8 degree relationship with her family, your relationship to them should be +7 or +6. [It'll never be as close as she is to them.] If your partner has a negative relationship with her family, you should try to be neutral towards them.

You didn't like my definition of 10?!

*shrug*

Your scale just doesn't in itself have room for the most important consideration.

I've been asked to be the neutral go-between between my husband and my in-laws. I knew better. Even if I could be neutral, I shouldn't be. My job is to choose my husband, always. And to avoid situations where I'm forced to choose between him and anything else.

RSS

Latest Activity

Steve Dallas replied to Jai Chipperfield's discussion What to wear to a vineyard
"Where are you at? If you were in the Texas Hill Country for one of the many vineyards on the 290 trail, I would say nice jeans with cowboy boots and a nice button up if you are also there to network. Would say the same for the Sonoita wine area…"
37 seconds ago
Rebekah replied to Jai Chipperfield's discussion What to wear to a vineyard
"In Napa, nice jeans, non-shiny leather shoes, belt to match shoes, long-sleeve button-down, sport coat, no tie Don't know about other wine-growing regions"
1 minute ago
Josh Williams posted a discussion

The issue of height

I am a rather average man of height standing at a regular height of 5'10. I would like to be taller because I feel it would increase my confidence and level out the playing field that is dating. Does anyone mind sharing their height and discussing how it has affected their life? Please share. Thank you.See More
5 minutes ago
Jai Chipperfield posted a discussion

What to wear to a vineyard

I'm going to a wine tasting and vineyard tour event. There's also a bit of networking opportunities to be had. Any ideas of what to wear? My natural instinct always leads me to a waistcoat. Maybe a suit. Maybe a tweed jacket. But if I'm touring a vineyard, there's a possibility it could be muddy. Then there's the wine tasting and networking with possible future employees, I still need to be on top form with my clothes. Any ideas?See More
7 minutes ago
Walter B. Pewen replied to Lev Nikolaevich's discussion Thoughts on Sexuality: Does It Matter?
"Also Mike clearly we're different.  Betcha I've seen more of your side of the fence than you've seen mine, huh?"
8 minutes ago
Jason replied to Lev Nikolaevich's discussion Thoughts on Sexuality: Does It Matter?
"Sand... well damn I've been using crushed glass on my mangina... hahahaha"
16 minutes ago
Michael D. Denny replied to Lev Nikolaevich's discussion Thoughts on Sexuality: Does It Matter?
"Walter, the troll here is you. As is generally the case. "
23 minutes ago
Walter B. Pewen replied to Lev Nikolaevich's discussion Thoughts on Sexuality: Does It Matter?
"Besides John, I don't visit the site all the time so how can I possibly keep up on all the trends?  Busy with my "man" stuff of orthopedic surgery. Kisses, Walt"
31 minutes ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service