I think there was an article on this not too long ago, but I was curious as to when other men felt like they were 'men'. I'm 21 and really feel like I'm not anywhere closer to becoming a man than when I was 16. So when was it that you felt a change in yourself and knew you weren't just a boy anymore?
I probably realized this when I started college, and realized that to some decree I waas responsible for myself. I think you will be able to see that moment when you look back over your life when you become older. It is hard to recognize these events as they are happening to you. I think the fact that you are asking the question means you may have already reached the moment or are approaching the time.. Don't expect trumpets and flashing lights to announce a moment.
I'd second that, I'm rather young (25) and your question made me think about the past few years of my life (Ive been rather blessed to find myself in a career I dreamed about getting into when Im 30) and its not just getting the position ive dreamed about its looking at many moments over the last few years. That's not to discount moments when everthing goes to total s*** and you keep your head while other around you loose there's (thats a quote from someone famous just not sure who). That's a huge part of being a man and I'd say being able to acknowledge when your wrong or made a mistake it sucks our egos hate it mine still does but sometimes u hafta man up
The line that you quoted is from the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling.
I was 38, doing initiation into manhood with the ManKind Project. See the New Warriors AoM group for my experience and that of others. A big part of it was being recognized as such by a community.
Feeling like a man -- finally! -- was almost the greatest gift I had ever had.
Somewhere between officially walking with my senior boots for the first time at Texas A&M and then final review at the end of senior year. From being the ones in charge, the old men, and then that final walking away saying it is over, time to be a man
Didn't figure you for Corps.
The moment my mother told me she thought I was one.
You can't fool mom, so I figured that was it.
Happened a year ago, at age 47.
Probably the moment my cousins and I acted as pall-bearers for my grandmonther, about 6 years ago. Once you carried a relative to their final rest..........
The day I harvested my own clams, then cooked them and brought them around the beach community I was staying at to share. Knowing that if need be, I could capture and cook my own food, and food enough for another dozen people, was when I realized I was a "man".
I was 19 or 20.
hhmm,, I can't nail down a specific moment like that where I thought to myself that I had crossed some finish line into Mandom. I think it just kind of happened on it's own momentum, somewhere along the lines. Recently though, my elderly (80yrs old) grandmother (who raised me) reached that point in life where although she takes care of herself for the most part, she really does not need to live alone and she is getting very ,, um,,,, "eccentric", lets' call it.
My three aunts and two uncles all deliberated about who can do what to help her, with whom she should live with, etc and when they could not reach any kind of real agreement, the ostensibly titular head of the clan, my oldest uncle, called me and asked me what should be done. It was not really a big deal, but that they would seek my counsel in making such decisions was a kind of acknowledgement of my status within the clan. Since then, it feels a little different when my family gets together. It's unspoken, but when a bunch of us are together, it's clear that my status within the family is something of an elder.
Not an exact moment. I joined the army as a 26 year old boy almost 6 years ago now. Been married for 4 years now as well and am firmly in man country. I realised the change for the first time after speaking to my course mates during trade training - I described what sort of person I was and they looked at me kind of dumbstruck. I asked them what's with the faces and they said "kinda hard to believe, you're nothing like that". I think if I met up with the people I haven't seen since joining, they'd recognise the face but wonder who the hell they were talking to.