Nothing wrong with being gay. Great men in history were gay. Strange second sentence though.?. "Have jobs, roof over their heads. In to sports etc" Roof over their heads, sports and jobs isn't really what manliness is about in my opinion. Honor, personal development, integrity, virtues and evolving as a man is what manliness is to me. Once again nothing being gay prevents one from doing/being. But liking sports, working and having a roof over your head doesn't even come close to what makes someone a man. A job and a roof makes you a productive human in today’s society. That’s not just what a man should be/have..
You said it much better than I did. Your right what you set out to do has nothing to do with being Gay.
Exactly being Gay has nothing to do with Manliness.
Gay guys can be manly -- there are a few here that fit the bill. But, they can also be prissy little fruitcakes. So can straight guys -- though, at least in my experience, the proportion of prissy gay guys seems to be considerably higher. Either way, its difficult to respect a grown man that acts like an 11-year-old girl ... no matter who he's attracted to.
Case-by-case. There are plenty of respectable gay guys. I will admit that I tend to assume an especially 'flamboyant' guy is gay unless proven wrong (sometimes there's no proof that will suffice). Usually right. Occasionally right before the guy figures it out for himself. Stereotypes exist for a reason.
Unmanly straight guys tend to be unmanly in other ways. Unmanly gay guys tend toward whats-his-name from Will & Grace.
There have been occasions when the reverse was true: I find out a guy is gay and I'm in disbelief.... but just for a second. Some guys are stealthy on the Gaydar.
He's a lumberjack and hes' okay.
How do Gay men live in a small town?
We leave at the earliest possible freakin' moment.
To reply to Mr. Ware's question: He needs to find a small town that isn't small minded (they do exist), and another or better yet several other gay men to socialize with.
Strictly speaking, Manliness is an attribute of men and an affectation of some women. Being male means you can and ideally should father children. So, is a man who don't have sex with women less of a man? Again strictly speaking, yes. Does it make him less manly? No.
Traditionally men who assume the traditionally viewed female role in sex (consensual or not), anal receptive, are effeminate and emasculated. While the "top" isn't.
What many of today's gay revolutionaries are promoting and I think proving, is that a man can be very manly and masculine and homosexual. The toughest soldiers and warriors in history were Spartans and took bromance to that next level... or not.
Many perhaps most manly men disdain effete males and this leads to homophobic remarks. There is nothing inherently wrong with discrimination only with prejudice. One is an informed choice and the other is ignorance.
I prefer the company of manly men and feminine women. I recognize and socialize with many variations of gender identities while I am attracted to men with facial hair in suits and women with long hair and dresses. Just makes me old fashioned, an old foggy maybe but not prejudged.
I think some of the homophobicity (new word there) comes from the incongruence of seeing a male (physically) act like a girl (11 y/o I believe was in one of the responses to this). It sets us on edge and makes us uncomfortable because we don't know how to respond to the person. The look like men (sort of in some cases) but act girlish.
Men who embrace their masculinity are manly and men who refer to themselves in feminine terms as in "Mary" and "girlfriend" are not.