Nothing wrong with being gay. Great men in history were gay. Strange second sentence though.?. "Have jobs, roof over their heads. In to sports etc" Roof over their heads, sports and jobs isn't really what manliness is about in my opinion. Honor, personal development, integrity, virtues and evolving as a man is what manliness is to me. Once again nothing being gay prevents one from doing/being. But liking sports, working and having a roof over your head doesn't even come close to what makes someone a man. A job and a roof makes you a productive human in today’s society. That’s not just what a man should be/have..
You said it much better than I did. Your right what you set out to do has nothing to do with being Gay.
Exactly being Gay has nothing to do with Manliness.
Gay guys can be manly -- there are a few here that fit the bill. But, they can also be prissy little fruitcakes. So can straight guys -- though, at least in my experience, the proportion of prissy gay guys seems to be considerably higher. Either way, its difficult to respect a grown man that acts like an 11-year-old girl ... no matter who he's attracted to.
Case-by-case. There are plenty of respectable gay guys. I will admit that I tend to assume an especially 'flamboyant' guy is gay unless proven wrong (sometimes there's no proof that will suffice). Usually right. Occasionally right before the guy figures it out for himself. Stereotypes exist for a reason.
Unmanly straight guys tend to be unmanly in other ways. Unmanly gay guys tend toward whats-his-name from Will & Grace.
There have been occasions when the reverse was true: I find out a guy is gay and I'm in disbelief.... but just for a second. Some guys are stealthy on the Gaydar.
He's a lumberjack and hes' okay.
How do Gay men live in a small town?
We leave at the earliest possible freakin' moment.
I think some of the homophobicity (new word there) comes from the incongruence of seeing a male (physically) act like a girl (11 y/o I believe was in one of the responses to this). It sets us on edge and makes us uncomfortable because we don't know how to respond to the person. The look like men (sort of in some cases) but act girlish.
Or others as 'girlfriend'.
These phenomena from antiquity are further proof that views on homosexual behavior, and even categories of sexuality themselves, change according to time and place and are therefore products of social construction.
I think this anecdote has value: First of all, I'm straight. But I have been approached and hit on/flirted with by gay guys many times. Had a few guys offer to buy me a drink in a very obvious way. Had guys just come up and try to start dancing with me. I used to go to night clubs often, so that's mainly why.
Now, I think we straight guys all consider it manly to take that plunge and go for it with a girl we're attracted to, disregarding the fear of rejection. Approaching a girl who is a total stranger and flirting with her and asking her out takes a bit of bravery, and I've seen so many straight guys cower to fear so many times. "Making your move" decisively with a girl you've slowly been getting closer to is even harder for many guys, especially young guys, to do. And we're talking about girls here, who, to be frank, aren't intimidating in the least. Plenty of guys are cowards about asking girls out.
How much harder must it be for gay guys to approach guys who they don't know are straight or gay and take that plunge, make their move, and risk not only rejection, but ridicule or even violence?
I politely turned those guys down. I respect the balls it takes for them to sack up and go for it with a guy they like.