"Great reply Todd!"
Started seeing a girl, could do with some advice
I've started dating this girl I know through my martial arts club activities. She's a great lass from what I can tell. I'd like some opinions though on one matter...she's got a pretty impressive sex drive and I'm still a virgin. While I know this is something a lot of men would see as a blessing, I can't help but feel slightly intimidated at the challenge of having to learn to please and learn fast. I've not even had the father-son talk yet. I'm tempted to just go for it, but I wouldn't mind seeing if anyone else has been in this situation.
I'm not that experienced so I don't know if I have a low sex drive (never cared enough to really try, too focused on other things) or just don't know what I'm missing.
I'm not that experienced so I don't know if I have a low sex drive (never cared enough to really try, too focused on other things) or just don't know what I'm missing.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Shane on -
State your personal beliefs, but don't just make sh it up.
Sex outside of marriage is overrated.
And the millions of people in marriages who are dissatisfied with their sex lives? Sex as some driver of your personhood is overrated, in or out of marriage.
If you start having sex with this girl because she wants it, and don't end spending your life with her, you'll feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on, and she'll likely feel the same or worse.
Even without sex that will happen.
The divorce rate in this country is somewhere around 50% because sex is cheap and people have little concept of what love is anymore.
Not only not true, a stupid conclusion to arrive at. Not only are divorce rates well under 50%, they've been falling since the turn of the century. Number one cause of divorce in America, money problems. Number one cause of divorce in the UK, falling out of love.
Love is not a magical feeling that comes over you and never leaves if you've found "the one". Love is a choice/effort that has to be made constantly. That glorious initial affection will fade in any relationship, and each party must consciously choose to continue loving the other if there's to be any hope of a future for the couple.
Way to make a case for not bothering with marriage at all.
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Permalink Reply by Joe on -
State your personal beliefs, but don't just make sh it up.
Those were my personal beliefs friend.
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Permalink Reply by Shane on
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That's what happens when you marry for love instead of increasing land holdings or solidifying political treaties.
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Permalink Reply by Nick H on -
I guess that means I can now make Ireland a province of Canada. Wish I got it before 2008 though.
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Permalink Reply by Nick H on
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I read today that they peaked in the 70's.
EDIT: Hmmm... actually, I think it was marriage rates I read. Never mind
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Permalink Reply by Shane on
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It gets a bit convoluted because no one seems willing to do the math on the statistics. It's much easier to be lazy and say, there's twice as many marriages every year than divorces, so the divorce rate is 50%.
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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on -
If you start having sex with this girl because she wants it, and don't end spending your life with her, you'll feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on, and she'll likely feel the same or worse.
If you don't start having sex with this girl because she wants it, and don't end spending your life with her, you'll feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on, and she'll likely feel the same or worse.
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Permalink Reply by Daniel T. on -
I had sex with a girl cause she wanted it. I didn't end up spending my life with her.
Neither of our hearts are damaged now that it's over.
Did I disprove Joe's theory? Or is it just that I am an evil soulless atheist and my ex a tempting Jewess? ;P
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Permalink Reply by The Dutch Dastard on -
I did the same "once or twice"(heh), without damaging any hearts (or psyche's). I did get it damaged one time, but it definitely wouldn't have helped to not have sex before.
I suspect we atheists (for me actually agnost with strong atheistic tendencies) are technically incapable of love.
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Permalink Reply by StaggerLee on -
If you are feeling pressure to perform, is it not possible that you are also sub-coming to pressure to lose your virginity in the first place? After all, being a virgin male is not overly prized these days.
As a Catholic, I have pretty strong thoughts regarding sex outside of marriage and assume you have heard them before unless you have been living under a rock somewhere, so I'll not get overly preachy on that score. If you want that slant on the topic, re-ask your question in Catholic or Christian men.Otherwise, as I would tell any man regardless of faith history, you only have one first-time opportunity. No matter what else happens in your life, you can never go back to being a virgin again. Once the cat is out of the bag all that is left is a re-commitment to chastity if you so choose. So if you must, spend wisely!
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