Christian Men
Regardless of the specifics, we can all agree on one thing. Jesus Christ was the perfect Man who died and rose again for us such that we could have fellowship with Him
Spoiled?
I have a vision of the man I want to be, and it doesn't include being spoiled...
I have two jobs. One of them is as an intern for Connecticut Light and Power, which, well, distributes all the electricity and power throughout the great state of Connecticut. And the other job is working on the ferries that go from Bridgeport to Port Jefferson, Long Island. I drive 30 min Mon-Fri to CL&P to work from 700 to 330, and Bridgeport, a 45 minute drive, is on the weekends from 0730 to 0330.
I'm not gonna lie, these jobs pay really, really well. I'm getting $14 an hour in both of them, and that is more than almost everyone I know in their 1 job. I work 7 days a week, and I wake up right around 5:30 every single day to go to work. I honestly don't mind waking up early at all; in fact, I greatly enjoy it. I'm the kind of guy that does stuff around the house, unlike the majority of my buddies who wake up at noon and play video games and such.
But I will admit, I am on my summer vacation. I got out of college for the summer a week and a half ago, and I had about 4 days to myself before I started the internship. For being a desk job, which I have always stated that I did NOT want to do, I am enjoying the internship. It's given me hope that I found a career that I will like...
I'm really starting to hate the job at the ferry, not for anything specific, it's just becoming more and more monotonous as time goes on. I brought it up to my parents the other day about how actually, it would be pretty nice to just have 1 day off for the week. Gimme Sunday off, and I'll be happy. I really wouldn't care about working the other 6 days. The problem is, no job these days is gonna take you working 1 day a week (Bridgeport). My mother told me that I should take advantage all that I have been given; a large house, a pool, my parents take care of all of my finances, etc. It's a great life. I would never tell you otherwise.
I told her that it's kind of stupid to work myself to the bone 7 days a week when I'm making almost 150% in both jobs of what everyone else in making in 1 job. If I'm already making that much more in 1 job, why do I have to work two? My girlfriend and I only see each other for a couple of hours, because I'm always going to bed early to wake up. I barely see my guy friends. And anything else i wanted to do this summer is virtually gone.
I'm rereading what I have written so far and I do sound incredibly spoiled. But it eats at me, and I have talked with and fought with my parents many, many times about getting them to back off and let me handle my own things. Especially my mother, however, seems to not let go.
I'm 20 years old, and yet I get treated like a prince. To some of you, I envision you scratching your heads and telling me to suck it up and deal with it because, frankly, I am acting spoiled and there is nothing wrong. But I absolutely hate being given stuff that I haven't worked for. I constantly feel the need to prove myself, not only to others, but also to myself. I want to make sure that I know I can handle things when they are presented to me.
After all of this reading, you're wondering where I'm going with this. Am I acting spoiled ( and should therefore just shut up and go to work) or do I have a legitimate point in not wanting to work and enjoy my summer?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Todd Serveto on -
Doug, I don't know what your religious background is, but if you believe the Bible, then you know that even GOD rested one day out of the week, and we're created in His image---so what does that tell you? There is a balance to everything in life. Just as it's stupid to sleep too late and waste too much time playing video games, you can't spend all your time working, either. You do want to honor your parents, but once again, there is balance, and you may need to start asserting yourself a little bit and doing what YOU see as right, and not waiting for them to approve of everything. As long as you are paying something toward your room and board (and you should, whether they are asking for it or not), then you should not feel too shy about asserting your autonomy a little and making some of these decisions on your own.
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on -
How would I start paying them room and board? If I just handed them cash and told them it to supplement me living under their roof, they would look at me like I have three heads and tell me to put it away for college. That's the main point for me working so much this summer; this upcoming year starts me paying fuly on my own for college. Any other money I had before (saved up) has been used, so anything I don't have i use loans for. Obviously, I understand their reasoning to have as few loans as possible, but still, as mentioned, I would like to have some free time...
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Permalink Reply by ARK on -
I'm confused. You said in your OP that your parents take care of all your finances. But you're paying for school yourself? It seems kind of insensitive for your mother to accuse you of working too much if you are working in order to pay the college expenses that she isn't paying for.
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on
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That was a bit of tangledness I wrote. I don't pay for school myself, I got some scholarships and stuff freshman year, but since then, my parents have pretty much just taken the money from my savings (since I was a little kid) and paid off my first two years of college. Which is really great and I love them for it, it's just that I really have no idea of what my finances are. All I know is that for this previous year's, as well as next year's payment, I got loans for $7000 each, which means I'm already $14000 in debt. I really don't have any idea of what my finances are. From here on out, whatever money I earn will be put towards school to reduce as many loans as possible, so I guess to answer your question, yes, from now on, I am paying for college. I hope I made sense.
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Permalink Reply by ARK on
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Well, this issue aside, if you have "no idea" as you say then you probably need to sit down with your parents and discuss your financial situation and theirs. You're legally an adult and you should be able to know going forward how much more you can expect to borrow to pay for your education.
I wouldn't be too concerned about the student loans you've taken out thus far; $14,000 is not an unreasonable amount to be borrowing for college. If they're Stafford loans, the interest rate on them is 3.4%. If they're subsidized, they won't begin accruing interest until after you're out of school. Don't feel obligated to make payments on those right now, especially if you're creating such a hectic schedule for yourself in order to do so.
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on
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Thanks. They are subsidized Stafford Loans by the way. You hit the nail right on the head.
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Permalink Reply by Tom Knighton on -
I don't really see where your problem is. I mean, you want to quit one of the jobs so that you're basically only working full time, but your parents want you to keep both?
If that's the case, then keep in mind that internships are short term. Your mother may be hoping that you will keep the ferry job so that you'll have income after the internship ends.
That doesn't make you spoiled though. It might not be the smartest thing, but it's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard either. Spoiled doesn't factor into it in the least.
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on
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I think that is her reasoning too. Obviously, the internship is a great experience, but once school starts back up again, I have the ferry job to rely on. I go to school in Massachusetts, so every other weekend, I come back pretty much solely to work.
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Permalink Reply by Tom Knighton on
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Well, she's right. However, I also understand your position as well.
Is it possible to ask for a weekend or two off?
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on
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It's kind of doubtful this summer, seeing as how weekends are the only time I am working for the ferry, so they're expecting me there every weekend. I'm sure one or two weekends will be fine, but for the most part, no.
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Permalink Reply by Tom Knighton on
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Something is better than nothing, and with the internship only being a short term gig, it could be incredibly difficult to find anything paying close to what you're making with that job.
I certainly understand your dilemma, but it's not a matter of whether you're spoiled or not (and I don't see evidence that you are). What it is more of is the fact that you're a young man who, like most young men - including myself - things about the here and now a bit more than the long term. You're thinking of the lack of time off now, but you seem to be missing that if you quit the ferry job, you won't have it when the internship ends. At that point, you're now jobless instead of only one job.
How long does the internship last?
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on
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Very good point. The internship lasts around 2 months. I go back to school August 11th, and I have a one week vacation in between now and then.
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