Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on November 26, 2012 at 4:43pm

How old are the two of you?

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Permalink Reply by Jon C on November 26, 2012 at 4:45pm

I'm 20 and shes 19

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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on November 26, 2012 at 4:46pm

Work/college? Live at home? Future plans?

For both of you.

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Permalink Reply by Jon C on November 26, 2012 at 4:49pm

Im in college right now hoping to work in DC later and shes not sure what shes doing yet but shes working for a political organization for the time being.

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Permalink Reply by J. on November 27, 2012 at 12:29pm

Personally, I think your first mistake was telling her how you feel about her, and her admitting the same. You are both young, and there (at least seems to be from your OP) enough distance between you two that a true, healthy relationship is unlikely to happen. However, don't be disheartened. Look at what you have with this girl, instead, and appreciate it for what it is. You are regularly texting and skyping with a spectacular girl for whom you care greatly. That's truly the best part of being in a relationship -- conversation. Relax and enjoy that. If the flame is still there in a few weeks or months, then there are other options to explore.

First, whether or not your candidate won, there are tons of temporary inaugural-based opportunities in Washington opening up in the near future. I'm assuming you worked on the presidential race here, of course. If your guy lost, chances are someone on the campaign knows a more successful Senator or Congressperson who may have opportunities for you both to volunteer for their January festivities. This is a chance at a brief reunion -- to take her out on a few dates, etc. Of course you'll have to approach the subject delicately. Casually mention that you were talking with so-and-so and that person mentioned that Senator X is looking for a couple of volunteers to help set up a Senators inaugural ball or whatever. See if she seems interested.

Second, you two both share the same passion, and likely have similar career paths. I am a little older than you, and also met someone special on a campaign who lives far away. We have, unknown to one another at the time, lived within an hour of each other on two separate occasions: in 2010 when she had an internship in my city, and just this past summer when I was in a temporary job in her city. If you both keep similar paths, sooner or later, you'll end up crossing paths again. If you've kept in touch as friends, you'll be able to explore a romantic relationship then.

In summary -- if this girl is truly special to you, keep in touch with her as friends. If the romance is meant to be, it'll happen on its own as the universe brings you back together. You two just met, don't hold yourselves back from finding dates locally, or make a huge life-change (a cross-country move) for what is now a temporary passion.

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Permalink Reply by Jon C on November 28, 2012 at 1:42pm

I mean I can't hold her to anything nor would I want to at this moment. Thats not my place right now. However, I would never go on a date with another woman since I really only care for her. I can see what you mean though about not being afraid to make a huge life-change.

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Permalink Reply by Jax on November 27, 2012 at 1:09pm

I would recommend to keep the conversation going. My wife and I met when we were about the same age and for 6 months after our initial meeting we were 4 hours apart and only talked on the phone and wrote letters and didn't have the means to travel much. This was long before the internet/skype/etc were popular.  We've been married for 14 years now.

Keep the communication open and honest. It is fine to tell each other how you feel. If those feelings change, just be honest and break it off.  Talk about your likes/dislikes. Talk about what you are doing during the day. Talk about future dreams and aspirations.  We talked for months before I ever said "I love you".  We both knew we cared about each other but wanted to wait until the time was right to take it to the next level. Sounds like you and her are similar. Take it slow and talk through everything with her. 

One downside with long distance relationships is that it is easy to hide things. If either of you are hiding things, the relationship probably won't work. Make sure you are open and honest. I really feel that having a long distance relationship was wonderful for us because it forced us to communicate without being near each other and to this day we have excellent communication in our marriage.

Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

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Permalink Reply by Jon C on November 28, 2012 at 1:48pm

This response was very encouraging to me. Ill be honest, I've been driving my self crazy wondering if this can actually work. It seemed unfair that I could meet such an amazing woman and have it spoiled just by distance. I'm glad to know it can work though.

Im a huge fan of honesty. I'm tired of all the games people seem to be playing with relationships nowadays. I've been there and done that and its too high school for me now. I've seen too many people get hurt or confused that way. Thats why I told her how i felt after only a couple weeks.

I really appreciate your advice, I def plan on taking it.

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Permalink Reply by Nathanael on November 28, 2012 at 4:17pm

Is the search function broken?

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Permalink Reply by Jon C on November 28, 2012 at 9:57pm

Is common politeness dead? honestly no need to be rude. I was under the impression that the people on the forum were different from most of the other internet trolls. looks like i was wrong about one of them.

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Permalink Reply by Nathanael on November 28, 2012 at 10:36pm

Oh no, I've been smitten by the keyboard of +5 sanctimony!

Get off your high horse, search this forum for previous threads on the subject, and you'll find lots of relevant discussions that will help you. After learning from those threads, you'll be better able to seek advice regarding your remaining questions, instead of "long-distance relationships: how do they work?"

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Permalink Reply by Will on November 28, 2012 at 11:02pm

If you think you're being trolled, don't feed them.

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