After a few strings of being messed around by women, I have recently decided I don't fancy being tied to any specific lady at this time. I'm wanting to take my first steps into being a bit of hunter about the town.
I do have some questions though regarding which of these situations sounds like a good place to start.
1. I have some friends who are up for sexual experimenting and don't want a boyfriend in their lives right now.
2. I recently split with a girl who thought she had feelings for me, but has said to me a few times over the last few months that 'as long as we stayed friends I'd consider.' Now this is pre breakup stuff but we're cool, still having a laugh and able to spend time together (heck, we've been living in the same student halls for two years now without a single problem and we're still planning on living together next year, so things must be stable) so Im tempted to offer something casual as a one off between friends, since she's one of those girls who doesn't mind a bit of experimenting.
3. There's a girl I know whose shown interest in me for years, and while I cant say Im that attracted to her, and she has considered me a plan B for every unlicked cub and abusive partner she goes running too. Not sure if that's a good idea.
Which option seems the best place to start? And yes, I do appreciate the different ideas people have about chastity and things, but I've never let my hair down before to just go out and live while I'm young, and with only 2 years left of uni before it's off into the working world, I think it's best to at least get something done.
Thought's from the men?
Maybe it is context then. Guys sitting around a bar are going to brag about their exploits, true or not. Talk to a friend going through the pains of marital problems and you get a different perspective and some honest regrets form dumb things they did they wish they could take back.
You do grasp the concept that we are talking about consensual, no strings attached sex and not relationships don't you?
Yes, I have friends who were scorned in LOVE and have regrets on actual relationships, esp the many I have helped through divorce.
When discussing consensual, random sex, the only times guys bring up regrets is when we each get made fun of for going home with a 10 and waking up with a 1.
These are two completely seperate subjects that you are melding into one.
And, if your marriage is shitty because of what you did, years back, with people unrelated to the marriage, your marriage sucks to begin with. You are not honest, your communication skills are severly lacking and the American people have more trust in their Congressmen then the two spouses have in each other.
We just have very different views on the subject.
I think he is setting him self up for problems he is not thinking through. I am also concerned that his approach, especially with option #3, is preying on someone that is seeking a relationship and seems very willing to ignore the potential hurt he could be bringing to her.
He asked for opinions, and I gave mine.
To be honest, this reasoning, on #3, I couldn't agree with you more. Even if we disagree on just having consensual one night stands, manipulating a girl you already know that wants far more is a pure dick move and does not fit the criteria of acting like a man I laid out earlier.
option three was just from the point of her offer. I personally don't see it as a logical one, but it was just a point that I felt was worth raising while the subject was open. Calm down.
That's not Irony. That's your lack of broadening the circle of people you interact with.
Or more so that those people have grown out of that phase and come to regret some of the poor decisions. Clearly they did some of the same things he is proposing, but time and maturity showed them that the overall experience was not as fulfilling as they had thought and came with consequences they didn't consider before.
What a shitty life to live. Looking back at the good times as something to regret.
You sill are under the impression that every situation like this ends with no consequences. Those don't tend to fall into the "good times" category.
And you seem to be under the impression the only way to have sex with a girl is through rape and/or marriage.
Not even remotely close to what I said or what I think. Fine if you disagree, but don't try to put words in my mouth.
Long, old story, made short: There really are no guarantees when it comes to sex, romance, and life-long happiness. There are good anecdotes, and good data, in favor of "playing the field," and good anecdotes, and good data, in favor of "remaining pure." In my own life, while I've had some unbelievably painful romances, I don't see them as interfering in my present relationship. They made me who I am today; my present relationship would be something different without them.