"Wow Big Bad Moose.
Your question is great, and really well presented and valid.
Unfortunately there is no one answer. I wish were there was. I have spent my youth searching for the answer.
I think the Manly life is to deal with the uncertainty and…"
So confused over my ex,,
Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum but hear me out..
I dated this girl for a year. I'm in college at UMiami and am about to turn 21. I know I'm still young, but I can't help but thinking if I would've just be a man and put up with her I would've been set.
She comes from alot of money, is very pretty and sweet, and all around a good fit for me. My problem is she never seemed to show me enough attention/love. She was super independent and never made me feel like there was a future or anything of the sort. It was always day to day, and I never knew what the day would hold because she was very moody. The thing is that I generally am more attracted to girls who put up more of a fight. I like to be in charge and have no problem pulling girls, but the ones I want always end up being those who are strong enough to not need me.
So what do I do? Do I move on to the next one or do I try and get her back?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jess Levens on -
If it's not in her personality to show you enough love and attention, you will never be happy with her. You you need to find someone who will nurture you emotionally, and it doesn't sound like it's her.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on -
Wow, not to sound cruel but you're coming across like a gold-digger with the comment about being 'set'.
If you're not into her then you're not into her and the same goes for her. You can't force yourself into a relationship just to be in a relationship because it never works out and you'll regret it later. If you didn't see a future with her or feel like there was one then there wasn't one.
So, the advice is move the heck on and get over it and get over your own bad self.
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Permalink Reply by David Gomez on -
If you are pulling in the strong women who don't need you that is good. Perhaps you are trying to make them need you instead of wanting them to like you. Trust me bro there is a BIG difference between a woman who is with you who needs you vs being with a woman who wants you. I have broken up with women who needed me because it was boring. I would rather be with a woman who wants me vs a woman who needs me. Strong, independent women are way hotter.
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Permalink Reply by John Lowe on -
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are interested in this woman for more than her money. If not, I cannot offer you any advice that will prove effective for a lasting relationship. (If it is only her money that interests you, perhaps she has sensed that and, thus, the cold shoulder.)
But assuming you find her attractive apart from her money, begin by asking yourself some questions. What is it about her that attracts you? Which of your qualities do you believe proved initially attractive to her? Were her perceptions of you accurate?
If you created a false persona and really do not have the qualities she liked, that will come out eventually. She will feel angry or cheated or, at the very least, disappointed. That is, unless she finds the real you equally charming, the relationship likely is doomed. That's why you want to be as honest as possible in the way you represent yourself. By all means, show your qualities in the best light, but don't pretend to be what you are not.
Assuming some basic compatibility, a relationship endures, I believe, when both partners commit to a lifelong seduction of each other. Let me explain. Monotony, stolid predictability, and a habit of taking each other for granted often prove to be the death knell of a relationship. Don't get so caught up in routine that you forget how to be fun. Be a little unpredictable. Every once in a while, surprise her. Do something that, while not out of character, is something she wouldn't have expected of you.
Let me give you an example. When my wife was a young girl, she dreamed of becoming a professional dancer. As in so many childhood dreams, life happened and the dream never came to fruition. I couldn't make her a professional dancer, but three years ago I surprised her by signing us up for ballroom dancing lessons. We've been going to dances ever since and she loves it. In fact, we're going to a dance tonight.
As with most good things in life, a strong relationship doesn't just happen. You have to think. And you have to work at it.
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