hi there,

recently I found someone who I admire as a father figure in my life. As far as I can tell he's maybe aware of it because he treats me a little bit differently from the others at work, more on a fairly subtle personal note. It's hard for me to describe it because he's pretty much a straight poker face in everything he says or does if he really wants to. On the other hand, for some reasons, it feels from time to time like he wants to teach me something and cares for me when we're talking. Like I said, it's fairly subtle. One time he points to me unrecognizable that someone's coming and I should not forget the etiquettes in a way you would hint it to me like a unfocused children, the other time he's proudly patting on my shoulder because I got a nice second job which I like. So, yeah, it feels like he's testing the waters with me or something.

The other day I've asked him if he may want to play a tennis match with me. He was a little bit reluctant in the beginning, so I told him that I won't force him to come with me if he's not interested. To my surprise he reacted rather suddenly to my words, telling me, that he cannot play tennis with me because health reasons, however, he likes to meet me as long as it's not that sports.

It is really hard for me to judge if he's aware of what I'm thinking of him. Should I perhaps tell him that I see him as mentor and father figure for me? If yes, what would be the best approach for it? How do you tell somebody somethinkg like that? Or should I let it be because my senses are overreacting?

Thanks!

Views: 162

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

How old are the two of you?

What's to tell?  That is, what would you hope to accomplish by telling?

Or is this just "It's on my mind, and I like to talk about what's on my mind"?

Not following.

Personally, I would not discuss it.  I see no point in bringing it up.  If  you do, there's a good chance he may back away, which I assume you don't want him to do.  Just be cool and allow him to decide what to do while you continue to reach out and try to be better friends with him.  IMO, good mentoring relationships  often have a strong friendship component, so just focus on that and don't rush anything.  Just my two cents.

RSS

Latest Activity

Braeden posted a discussion

Endless Forms Most Beautiful

“Thus, from the war of nature, from famine and death, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of the higher animals, directly follows. There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being,…See More
2 hours ago
Jack Bauer replied to Ameretta's discussion Should I kill Myself Because I am a black woman?
"Ideally not. Best I can tell, your complaint is that men -- particularly Asian or Korean men -- aren't into dark-skinned women. You say your parents immigrated to the U.S., so it doesn't sound like you live in Asia. You call yourself a…"
6 hours ago
Drew Wood replied to Chris J.'s discussion Taking a nature walk...barechested in the group The Shirtless Man
"That is a great feeling, especially on a warm Spring day!"
8 hours ago
Kit the Odd replied to Sir's discussion Class in the group The Great Debate
"I'll have to think about this some more, but one things comes to mind right off. The volatility of the classes makes for some of the mismatches you mention.  Purely income-wise I grew up probably somewhere between middle-class and…"
12 hours ago
Apollyon replied to Ameretta's discussion Should I kill Myself Because I am a black woman?
"Nope. 1. You seem to have self-loathing, low self esteem, and bad self image. 2. You live in Korea? Asian countries can be tough to deal with if you are not Asian. However, I can tell you many other countries in the world DO in fact like black…"
12 hours ago
Tyler West replied to N. R.'s discussion Any Wildland Firefighters out there?
"Hey man, Just saw this and figured Id reply. I was a BLM/Forest Service firefighter for four years, two on engines and last two on a hotshot crew. The biggest thing honestly is calling and or visiting fire captains to show your interest. Some of…"
12 hours ago
Kit the Odd replied to Ameretta's discussion Should I kill Myself Because I am a black woman?
"I'm not sure what I could say to help, although I'd like to.  It sounds like you are dealing with some specific problems that feel like general ones.  I don't know what your experiences are, but they sound…"
12 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Valentin's discussion Hello from Paris (France)
"Welcome. I hope you enjoy being here. Feel free to chime in anywhere."
14 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service