hi there,

recently I found someone who I admire as a father figure in my life. As far as I can tell he's maybe aware of it because he treats me a little bit differently from the others at work, more on a fairly subtle personal note. It's hard for me to describe it because he's pretty much a straight poker face in everything he says or does if he really wants to. On the other hand, for some reasons, it feels from time to time like he wants to teach me something and cares for me when we're talking. Like I said, it's fairly subtle. One time he points to me unrecognizable that someone's coming and I should not forget the etiquettes in a way you would hint it to me like a unfocused children, the other time he's proudly patting on my shoulder because I got a nice second job which I like. So, yeah, it feels like he's testing the waters with me or something.

The other day I've asked him if he may want to play a tennis match with me. He was a little bit reluctant in the beginning, so I told him that I won't force him to come with me if he's not interested. To my surprise he reacted rather suddenly to my words, telling me, that he cannot play tennis with me because health reasons, however, he likes to meet me as long as it's not that sports.

It is really hard for me to judge if he's aware of what I'm thinking of him. Should I perhaps tell him that I see him as mentor and father figure for me? If yes, what would be the best approach for it? How do you tell somebody somethinkg like that? Or should I let it be because my senses are overreacting?


Tags: father, figure

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How old are the two of you?

What's to tell?  That is, what would you hope to accomplish by telling?

Or is this just "It's on my mind, and I like to talk about what's on my mind"?

Not following.

Personally, I would not discuss it.  I see no point in bringing it up.  If  you do, there's a good chance he may back away, which I assume you don't want him to do.  Just be cool and allow him to decide what to do while you continue to reach out and try to be better friends with him.  IMO, good mentoring relationships  often have a strong friendship component, so just focus on that and don't rush anything.  Just my two cents.

He may not be aware of how you think of him, he is aware that he likes you and has taken you under his wing so-to-speak.  I wouldn't bring it up as it may embarass him and end what you seem to enjoy about your work relationship.  I would take him on as a confidant or as a unofficial mentor and when you have questions about business bring those questions to him.  I would refrain from bringing him into any personal situations or hobbies unless it is he who suggests it; that may not be the type of relationship he is wanting from you.


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