hi there,

recently I found someone who I admire as a father figure in my life. As far as I can tell he's maybe aware of it because he treats me a little bit differently from the others at work, more on a fairly subtle personal note. It's hard for me to describe it because he's pretty much a straight poker face in everything he says or does if he really wants to. On the other hand, for some reasons, it feels from time to time like he wants to teach me something and cares for me when we're talking. Like I said, it's fairly subtle. One time he points to me unrecognizable that someone's coming and I should not forget the etiquettes in a way you would hint it to me like a unfocused children, the other time he's proudly patting on my shoulder because I got a nice second job which I like. So, yeah, it feels like he's testing the waters with me or something.

The other day I've asked him if he may want to play a tennis match with me. He was a little bit reluctant in the beginning, so I told him that I won't force him to come with me if he's not interested. To my surprise he reacted rather suddenly to my words, telling me, that he cannot play tennis with me because health reasons, however, he likes to meet me as long as it's not that sports.

It is really hard for me to judge if he's aware of what I'm thinking of him. Should I perhaps tell him that I see him as mentor and father figure for me? If yes, what would be the best approach for it? How do you tell somebody somethinkg like that? Or should I let it be because my senses are overreacting?

Thanks!

Views: 159

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

How old are the two of you?

What's to tell?  That is, what would you hope to accomplish by telling?

Or is this just "It's on my mind, and I like to talk about what's on my mind"?

Not following.

Personally, I would not discuss it.  I see no point in bringing it up.  If  you do, there's a good chance he may back away, which I assume you don't want him to do.  Just be cool and allow him to decide what to do while you continue to reach out and try to be better friends with him.  IMO, good mentoring relationships  often have a strong friendship component, so just focus on that and don't rush anything.  Just my two cents.

RSS

Latest Activity

Northumbrian commented on Ian Wilson's group Out to Build Bridges
"Even if it took me a long time to admit it, I am glad I did finally start coming out of the closet to people. At last I found out before I entered a relationship with a woman and ended up divorced as a result"
1 hour ago
Chad commented on Andrew's group Men with Beards
"I too am about to reach the years mark and may need to trim it shorter again. Anything you wish you did before you trimmed it? Any suggestions to get through the stages of loss faster? Lol."
1 hour ago
Henrik Stroemblad added a discussion to the group Book Group
Thumbnail

Biggles?

Anyone here ever read Biggles, by Cpt. WE Johns? I read the books more than any other books when I was a kid. Biggles taught me more about being a man than anyone else, real or fictional. Had about half of the 95 or so books that were written. Favorites were the WW1 ones, but they were all good.
4 hours ago
Northumbrian replied to David R.'s discussion Lifestyles in the group Out to Build Bridges
"I wouldn't call it the gay lifestyle, since it's not like I had a bad experience with a woman and decided to be gay, I just knew but denied it because of when I grew up and I'm glad to be out of the closet. I'd say I was born…"
4 hours ago
R. Max replied to Braeden P.D.'s discussion Post-Mortem Symposium
"Lemmy from Motorhead Davinci  Teddy Roosevelt  Gandhi  Beethoven Steinbeck "
4 hours ago
Luke Hall joined Buffalo Bill's group
Thumbnail

Everyday Carry

A group to discuss those objects we carry every day, and the balance between utility, effectiveness, and sentimentality.
5 hours ago
Profile IconLuke Hall and Henrik Stroemblad joined Carlos Lemus's group
Thumbnail

Book Group

This is a group for all those of us who enjoy a good book. In this group you can submit reviews, start discussions on specific books, or simply share what you're reading.
5 hours ago
Luke Hall joined Timothy Hyden's group
Thumbnail

Emergency Management-Disaster Preparedness

As a man I want to do the best to protect my family in the event of a disaster. This group is for the men who wants to be prepared for all hazards to insure his family can make it through the storm. This forum is to discuss anything, from the four phases of Emergency Management-Mitigation, Preparedness, Response, and Recovery, and to discuss the future of Emergency Management. If anyone works in Emergency Management, or is a first responder, or if you just want to discuss how to be better…See More
5 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service