K so there is this girl i like and i havent made any moves yet but thats just because i dont think its the right time yet. my real problem is that im pretty sure she has slept with other guys and i havent slept with anyone yet. nor do i care to until marriage for fear of something happen that i will regret for the rest of my life. the other reason i havent/dont want to sleep with anyone yet is because its against my religious views. im afraid that if i date someone that doesnt have the same views or fear that they will laugh at me and either not go out with me or that they will cheat or break up with me. i dont want either of those to happen. at least not for that reason. im wanting to ask her out but i dont know how she will take it that i dont want to sleep with her. of course i will tell her its because of my religious views but again... i dont know how she will take that. should i even try and take a risk or should i just not try at all?
and of course by "sleep with" u know what i mean... haha
How do you ever expect to meet the right girl -- with whom you can regularly have religiously-sanctioned freaky sex after marriage -- if you don't try at all?
If she's a girl that's worth dating, sex won't come up on the first date anyway. You're not going to have to say "I don't want to sleep with you" on the first date. Actually, you shouldn't say that, ever. Ideally, you'd want to sleep with her from the beginning, you'd just control yourself until the right time.
And, what's the harm in going on a date with a girl that isn't the right one? If you end up on a date with some horndog that must have sex on the first date, and you say "no" ... and she's not OK with that ... then you let her go her own way. No harm, no foul. Just keep looking for a girl that shares your values. You'll never find a girl that shares your values if you're too much of a coward to date at all, for fear of going to dinner with a girl that doesn't share your values.
So, what's the worry? Ask her out. Go to dinner a few times. Find out if you're compatible. If not ... rinse, repeat. Dating is trial-and-error. Skipping the trials for fear of the errors is a good way to die a lonely virgin.
this is true. i honestly was thinking the same thing i just wanted someone elses input. idk... i am weird like that. thanks man.
If she doesn't respect your views, move on. But don't be afraid of getting to know someone just because she may not share your views. Find out! If you're concerned about getting burned, find out some info about her first?
Or how about a radical idea--search for women with associated religious views and principles, and select from that crop?