Hey, so I've got sort of a confusing situation with a girl. I've been going to a Swing dancing group for a year now, and there's a girl I'd often seen there but never talked to. But a few weeks ago I danced with her, and she instantly got along with me. Like, it was weird. I didn't even do anything, but she acted like we're already best friends.
That night she added me on Facebook. A week or so went by, and we talked a bit at Swing, but then one day she randomly messaged me, because she realized we live close to each other. And she said we should "hang out" sometime. And so took the hint and set a time and place. But we never called it a date.
But even before we had the "date," she asked if I could give her a ride to Swing. (Weird, considering I'd basically just met her.) So I did. Then the next day we had our date and it went pretty well. She always seemed excited to see me at Swing, but at the same time, it felt different than when other girls liked me. Like, I would flirt, and it didn't really feel like she was responding much. I felt like it's all me.
And then she started inviting me to small get together with some non-swing friends. And I went to a Christmas Eve party at her friend's house. Then she added me on Snapchat, and snapchatted me like, all day. And then I went to a dance and her and I talked a lot, and I ended up driving her home. (Actually on multiple occasions.) And one of my friends even asked me that night if we were a thing, and I said I really don't know. Because nothing of that kind had ever been talked about. We'd never called anything a date, and there was never any major flirting on her end. Nothing that seemed like a definite sign that I should be more assertive.
Then one day I decided to plan another "date" but chickened out and didn't actually call it a date. We decided to go ice skating. But then at the last minute, she randomely changed it to a big event that she invited all her friends to. And yesterday we went there, and I drove her. We even had coffee before we left.
But for the duration of the trip, she just seemed really indifferent toward me. She was sort of upset because things weren't working out as she planned. But when I tried to comfort her, she barely seemed to notice.
That was yesterday. After almost 5 days in a row of seeing her, we don't have anything planned, and she hasn't snapchatted me once. And I'm beginning to wonder... did she ever actually like me? Is she just really friendly maybe? Because it almost seemed too perfect. How much we talked. Like, if she actually like me she wouldn't be so forward.
Any idea what's going on here? I'm on the verge of giving up on the whole thing. Or else, finding a chance to ask her on a real date, or telling her how I feel. What would be the manly response to this situation?
Haha, you made my night.
First of all she definitely doesn't think I'm gay. She's very christian. That's THE biggest criteria for her. (And I'm a christian too.) And what do shoes have to do with it? I did compliment her dress once. She seemed sort of surprised by it, and said thanks.
So? Did you kiss her even?
No, of course not. I only just met her.
A) You've gone on dates, just because the word wasn't explicitly used, you have gone on dates. It was the two of you, you got to know each other better, that is a date. Don't give me this line that you just met her.
B) Kissing tells her you are interested. Hugging, physical interaction. This is the progression of dating. You meet, you ask her out, you go out, and then you kiss. I'm not saying sleep with her, I am not saying write poems and tell her you love her. You show her.
C) I don't care how Christian you both are, this is life and she needs to knoww that you are attracted and will make positive moves. You are making moves like you are putting her in the friend zone
D) She could be busy, just because she hasn't texted you for one day doesn't mean a damned thing.
E) Have you two already made plans for Tuesday night? Great night for a first kiss(still should have after the first if not second time the two of you went out)
Kudos for being a gentleman, Justin.
I'm a Christian myself and grew up in fundamentalist Christian circles... therefore I've seen a lot of awkward guy/girl interactions.
She probably things you're too nice... a lot of Christian guys are. But a cursory reading of the Bible shows that Biblical heroes were also badasses. There's nothing wrong with a hint of mystery and danger as long as she knows where your heart is... Make her invest in you in some small way and don't be at her beck and call... trust me that goes a long way. And a call a thing out for what it is. if you are on a date, let her know! Best of luck brother.
Estrogen is weird. I doubt she has/had any feelings for you in that sense. She's probably just one of those people with what I like to call "fad friends." They are super chummy with you for a while, then the relationship fizzles out to the guy who just gets Christmas cards and wedding invitations.
Oh dear... :P That may be it. Do you think it'd be different if I was clear I'm asking her out on a date? Although it does seem hard to believe she wouldn't realize I like her after all that's happened. I've driven her home so many times, and she's invited me to so much stuff. like, wat?
IIf you like her, take Billy Joel's advice and go with "Honesty". I know it's so cliche that it's sickening, but it's true that "All she can do is say no." Just don't give a big mushy spill about love, and your current relationship status won't change.