My name is Matthew. I'm the managing editor of a 65 year old publication focusing on international folk music based in South Eastern Pennsylvania. I acquired this job when I was 24, I am 26 now. In the span of those two years, I have gone from being 240 lbs to my current weight of 160 lbs. I had a back/hip injury at my job before this, which causes me chronic pain. The weight loss was intentional, as a means to lessen the chronic pain. Though it did very little to help the pain, I have grown much more confident in my physical self, and I am much better for it. In the summer of 2013 I was in a relationship with a woman who had long been a friend. I assisted with the in-home hospice care of her mother who was dying of cancer. However, after her mother passed, our relationship fell apart, and it left me feeling used and embittered. I've battled varying degrees of depression over the last few months, and I am currently in a state of discontent. I have taken up several hobbies and activities, such as editing a newsletter for a local food cooperative, bicycling, writing, cooking and extensive reading. I come to this place to find new voices and suggestions. 

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Several suggestions.

Depression (if it's not just feeling blue):  medication is not a bad idea.  There are also ways to leave it behind.  I also wonder if you're isolated, that is, if you have friends you hang with and can talk about things to.

Talking about it:  Blank Anonymous  (CoDA, ACA -- not the substance-abuse ones; they're focused on the substance, which doesn't seem to be your issue

Pain:  I assume you're consulting a doc about this

Career:  What's your plan for the future?  Might need to make one.  Not as urgent as the other things here it sounds like

Direction:  none of the things you describe are big enough to matter to you.  You don't need distracting; you need a mission in life, a purpose.  Is there a Higher Power in the picture?  What's so big and so great it'll get you up in the morning?

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