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Rites of Passage: A Lost Ritual?
When I was a kid, I was somewhat fascinated by male rites of passage, especially ancient or primitive rites that fully initiated a boy into manhood.
I have a vague recollection of reading that some Native American tribes would send an adolescent boy into the wilderness for a period of time in which he had to survive by fending for himself. If he was able to return alive and well after the time proscribed, he was considered a man.
I'm not positive that that was true, of course, but what a way to prove yourself if it was. It seems to me that we no longer have such initiations today, or if we do, they are effete counterfeits of more ancient and meaningful rites.
The only modern equivalent I can think of is the Bar Mitzvah in the Jewish community. But I am not Jewish, so I really don’t know what this consists of or how significant it is.
I greatly resent that I never had any such experience as a teen; that I never had to prove my worth or myself by some act, trial, or tribulation. I think it would have been beneficial to my self-esteem and identity as a man, and would have saved me from years of—what I can only describe as—vagueness of purpose or direction. (That is just a guess though, since I can’t know with certainty the effect it would have had.)
I think that women—and I could be wrong here—have a de facto initiation into womanhood because of their menstrual cycle, with childbirth probably playing an important role, too (at least for some).
But what about men? How do we know when we are men? Is it just going through puberty, or moving out of the house and getting a job? Is it having kids? I don't think these things are quantifiable indicators of manhood. It has to be more than that—at least psychologically. I think that a public ceremony or rite—and by extension, an acknowledgement—is beneficial to a boy as he integrates his identity with the cultural expectations of manhood.
From this point on, you are a man. You have these responsibilities. You have these rights. You have these privileges.
Wouldn’t a public ceremony encourage a man to be more responsible for himself, his actions, and his community? I’m inclined to think so.
So here are the questions:
1. What are your opinions on this subject?
2. Did you have any rite of passage? If so, how did your race, ethnicity, nationality, or cultural upbringing influence your experiences and outlook?
3. When did you feel that you were indeed a man?
4. Do you think that we need to bring back rites of passages? If so, what should they consist of, and what benefit would it have for boys or for the community?
Tags: adolescence, boy, child, man, manhood, rite of passage, ritual, teen
Views: 667
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jeff Kraykovic on -
The Mono indians used to stake their thirteen year old boys on ant mounds for initiation into manhood. During this time the entire history of the tribe was recited to them. This was so important to the tribe because there was no written record, the boy simply had to remember. The best way to do this was trauma. If the boy didn't give up, he was given a new name and henceforth he was a man. I don't think we need to go this far, but some line where on one side our sons are boys and on the other they are men would maybe solve some of societies problems.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on -
...some line where on one side our sons are boys and on the other they are men would maybe solve some of societies problems.
I would tend to agree, but you know, I'm not a traditionalist, either. I know that may sound odd after posting this topic, but I don't necessarily embrace the notion that all tradition has an unquestionable authority, especially when it is too restrictive to the individual, and also because the original intentions and meanings of traditons are usually lost in time. In other words, people don't really know why they do the things they do. They just do them because their parents did it, and their parents before them. And yet I can't completely convince myself that the are without value. IMO, people should have the freedom to hold to tradition if they choose, but they should not be forced into it.
Rites have an unquestionable link to tribalism, and tribalism could be good or a bad depending on how you analyze it, and the criteria used.
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Permalink Reply by Library_Goon on -
I was watching a show recently about a tribe in Africa that does male circumcision at age 13 as a rite of passage. Just the thought of it makes me cringe.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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Me too. I think I ran across a reference to that when I was doing a bit of light reading on this subject prior to posting. I can't imagine! I wonder if they give him something like a drug or herb to prevent an erection while he heals.
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Permalink Reply by Travis Tomaszkiewicz on -
depends on what you consider a rite of passage.
plenty of people consider HS graduation and getting your diploma a right of passage into adulthood, graduating college, even your first job, or surviving your first year completely independent (not dorm living or parents paying half rent)
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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Well, all those things are certainly important, but they are also things that most of us manage to do, male and female alike. And none of them have ritualistic, event-like qualities (except perhaps for graduation).
I'm not knocking them by any means. I'm just posing questions here. I suppose if an individual finds these things significant and meaningful, than who am I, or anyone else for that matter, to say that he is wrong.
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Permalink Reply by Travis Tomaszkiewicz on
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yes most of us do accomplish those things, but i'm sure that the majority of the populations you're speaking of also accomplished their rituals and came out fine. just because the majority of our population goes through it and makes it through doesn't mean it's not just as important, and just because it's not as...interesting doesn't mean it doesn't change the person.
the rite of passage is meant to bring about a change in the child, it's not only a physical real world representation of transcendence into adulthood, but normally is the event that brings about that change. many become more responsible after having their first job, others become more driven or focused.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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Well, that's a good way to look at it.
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Permalink Reply by Travis Tomaszkiewicz on
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thanks, thats what i've always viewed the point of the rite to be, not just a symbolic thing, but something that has profound effect on the person physically, mentally, and possibly spiritually.
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Permalink Reply by Will on -
Emphatically yes, it's a magnificent idea. Mine was the New Warrior Training Adventure by the ManKind Project (see the group on this site, http://community.artofmanliness.com/group/newwarriors , for more). I have heard there are others that are tied to mostly Christian perspectives (NWTA and MKP are secular), but don't know much about those.
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Permalink Reply by Tyler Jacobs on -
Will, I was just about to mention NWTA. It was an amazing initiation into manhood for me with trials, challenges and ceremonies that were traditionally made up a rite of passage. I think without rites of passage, many men feel like nothing more than old boys without responsibility to "man up". This is something that really concerns me about modern society. Why is 30 the new 20? Because men waste a decade being big children. That's my opinion of course.
In my religious culture (i.e. church) "the mission" is considered a rite of passage. At 19 years old (21 for women), we can choose to spend two years (18 months for women) at our own expense as a missionary to an unknown location (and often speaking a foreign language). We leave behind our studies, friends, girlfriends and jobs to do this, as it is all about personal sacrifice. Duties include proselytizing naturally, but also visiting and helping church members in the area as well as doing various forms of community service. It is a strictly regimented program and can be compared to Army service or Peace Corps. The next time Mormon missionaries knock at your door, don't get angry or annoyed - take a minute to ask them about their lives back at home and how they spend their days. Even if you're not remotely interested in their theological message, I guarantee you'll find something impressive about these young people (kids in most cases). I served a mission to Paris, France from '97-'99 and it was an amazing experience. It was super difficult, and I came back pretty beat up, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I had some unbelievable experiences, had huge personal and spiritual growth, became fluent in French and made some friends for life. Returned missionaries in my church are generally quite respected. They say a boy leaves on a mission and returns a man.
Roughly ten years later, while dealing with some of personal stuff, I discovered the NWTA. With my mission long behind me, and with a wife and family to support, I still deep down didn't feel like a man - just a 30 year old boy. After doing the weekend myself, I finally felt as though I had arrived as a man and was seen and respected. It was an extremely powerful and life changing experience for me. Like my mission, it was not easy, involve a lot of sacrifice and made me face a lot of my fears. Also returned home pretty beat up, yet ecstatic.
Now I don't think every man in the world should (or could) be a Mormon missionary (imagine that! yikes!), nor do I think the New Warrior weekend is for everybody, but I totally agree that society today severely lacks a certain rite of passage where manhood is earned and the man knows he has arrived.
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Permalink Reply by Dallas Gaytheist on
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Why is 30 the new 20? Because men waste a decade being big children.
I think there are some biological or evolutionary reasons behind this. As life expectancy increases, the average time that children remain children and dependent upon their parents also increases. I believe this is true in the animal world, as well. The species that live the longest also have a slower rate of maturation in their offspring. (But I won't swear to this. I'm not a scientist.)
For humans though, it may just be a cultural or socio-economic phenomenon that happens without us really thinking about it.
It was super difficult, and I came back pretty beat up, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
I think this is in part what more primitive rituals consisted of. It was an "if you survive this then you are a man" kind of a thing.
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