"I like a minimalist approach as well: apart from the computer (and necessary cords/ports/etc to plug accessories in) I go for a couple of pens, some paper to scribble on, a filing tray to hold current work, and perhaps one personal item to cheer me…"
Remaking myself
I don't like who I am.
I don't like who I'm becoming.
I want, no I need to remake myself.
I've become bitter, cynical, hateful.
I have unfulfilled dreams.
I have a body that isn't worth a damn.
I don't know how to change any of this.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on -
Had to Google that term.
Learn something new every day.
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Knight on -
Care to enlighten us? My search history is already colorful enough...
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Permalink Reply by Shane on -
It's a bag one s hits in while out in the field, allowing you to pack out your waste. While backpacking there are some pretty high speed double bag systems commercially available. In the military it's usually an MRE bag.
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on
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What he said.
"High speed"?
Gulp, lol.
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Permalink Reply by Shane on
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Military term. High speed/low drag. It's a measure of how awesome a system is.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on -
Just don't use the wrong leaves to wipe with. Oh, and if you're at an Operational Base with dug latrines don't let your junk dangle, it could get bit; same thing with watching where you're squatting. Both happened to people I know; one was a black widow on the 'member' the other was a rattler on the @$$.
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on
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I typically get backed up when I travel but I guess that does not apply here.
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on
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The fur is flying here.
I've been in your shoes. At it's lowest considered suicide but didn't come close because I was afraid of what people would think of me if I wasn't successful (I have first hand experience with family members trying the same stuff, it IS embarrassing)
Keep moving, even if you don't know quite where to go yet. You are still so young. That's what I did, one step at a time.
Here, and it's seasonal too:
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Permalink Reply by Douglas Aldrich on -
Andrew Z is right; it's not an overnight transformation. Do yourself a favor, and write down everything you want to accomplish, and under each thing, make a couple of bullets further explaining how you will do it, what exactly you want to do, etc. Put it up somewhere where you will see it everyday. Discipline and focus are most important when trying to change things in your life.
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Permalink Reply by Rob on -
Somehow I missed this when it was fresh. I would not let something like this go if I noticed it.
I don't like who I am.
Buddy, you can't BE anything or anyone. You can only DO. Your value as a person does not depend on you BEING anything. You are worthwhile as you are RIGHT NOW, even though you might not feel that yet.
You feel stuck because you're trying to change something that isn't real. You are not your self-image. It's an illusion. The thing that you say you don't like is not a real thing. It's a mental model. You don't like your mental model of yourself. But that's not really who you are, Bud!
Let me tell you right now that even though I don't know you personally, I like you. I have every reason to believe you're a worthwhile person. I don't need to know the details, and those are subject to change anyway. I seriously doubt that you have a long rap sheet of misdeeds, and even if you did, which I doubt, you could change that.
Your value as a person has more to do with your behavior than it does with anything that you think you "are". Your behavior as a man is largely driven by your thought patterns and your emotions. To take back control of your life, you need to manage the thoughts and emotions that drive your behaviors.
Negative thought patterns such as "I don't like who I am", "I've become bitter, cynical, hateful", and "I have a body that isn't worth a damn" are not the EFFECT of your sorrows, they are the CAUSE. "Where attention goes, energy flows". You get more of whatever you invest your time and energy thinking about.
Certain types of thought patterns trap people. Not just you, personally, but anybody. If you ever spent time as a therapist, you'd frequently hear complaints like
"I'm a loser because of my unhappy childhood. My parents destroyed me."
Those kinds of thoughts are full of unspoken, unconscious, assumed beliefs. If you considered what those unspoken assumptions are, you'd start realizing that there are flaws in them and that there are ways around what appear to be obstacles.
When you train your brain to find ways around those self-limiting beliefs, it opens up possibilities that right now you can't even dream of. As you discover new ways of looking at your experiences in life, you will gain new control over your emotions and your behaviors.
I'm going to contact you offline to see if we can set this right, OK?
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