"Great advice already on here from Tim & Nick.
If there was any more to add for myself personally I always find it a struggle to try and be a 'true' friend to a girl that I have/had deep feelings for. This is because I have ended up…"
Remaking myself
I don't like who I am.
I don't like who I'm becoming.
I want, no I need to remake myself.
I've become bitter, cynical, hateful.
I have unfulfilled dreams.
I have a body that isn't worth a damn.
I don't know how to change any of this.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Oddball on -
Bad advice? The guy has become so miserable that he spouts lines like,
'I have a body that isn't worth a damn.
I don't like who I am.
'I don't like who I'm becoming.
'I want, no I need to remake myself.'Hold on, let's get him another dead end job in another cubicle, maybe with a bit better pay. Yeah, that'll really turn his life around. Brilliant fucking shrink you are. I'm just waiting for you to recommend some medication and bed rest.
He needs to step well out of his comfort zone, not further back into his miserable mire. Fresh air and hard work beats a thousand gyms and shrinks, especially the stuff that comes from the camaraderie of the site where he will learn man skills.
I hate to point out the obvious, but the proud and respected men who built America did it in overalls with hammers and shovels, while those who dragged it into its current mess did it while wearing suits in places like Wall Street.
The guy needs a reality check, not fucking green tea.
And as for jealousy? Not everyone on this site is stuck in office jockey USA.
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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on -
These days, those are the dead end jobs. Hell, even in those days, those were dead end jobs. The railroads, for instance, may have been put together by laborers ... but men behind desks played a big part.
He needs to find purpose. Maybe he finds it swinging a hammer. Most don't, though. Most barely find subsistence.
JB
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Permalink Reply by Chuck Knight on -
Then perhaps a compromise solution is in order.
It's true that "building something with my own hands" is one of the quickest ways to feel good about yourself. Blue collar, white collar, or retired, it doesn't matter. There is a sense of accomplishment in *making* something. So, let's meet in the middle, and suggest to Victor that he consider volunteering for Habitat for Humanity?
It does good for those in need AND gets him working with his hands. And, it should help his physique, too.
It might actually be a pretty good suggestion.
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Permalink Reply by Oddball on
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Yeah, the men behind desks played a big part, better known as the Long Depression and the Depression of 1882–85. Deja fucking vu.
Fwiw, it ain't a rose-tinted view of hard labor. I did my time up to my nuts in muck in mid-winter.He won't find purpose without perspective.
Character can't be bought from a plastic surgeon or a shrink - it is earned the hard way. It won't come without sacrifice and pain. If knowing what it is like to earn a subsistence wage, then fine.
He might find purpose after suffering a bit, but he won't get far if he remains wrapped up in his mother's apron strings.
No pain, no gain, and no fucking green tea!
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Permalink Reply by LShieldes on
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Jealousy and decrying other forms of occupation does not give one character, it makes one a character that should be openly mocked.
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Permalink Reply by Oddball on
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Jealousy and decrying other forms of occupation does not give one character
Cotton wool-wrapped bullshit. It motivates people to do better and rise higher.
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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on -
And a construction job is doing better or rising higher? Than what? Do you know what his day-job is? Maybe you're right if he's working in McDonalds as the counter help.
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So then you do admit that you are jealous and envious of those who have nice cushy inside jobs that make real money and have an actual future?
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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on -
Hold on, let's get him another dead end job in another cubicle, maybe with a bit better pay. Yeah, that'll really turn his life around. Brilliant f****** shrink you are.
Interesting you assumed he works in cubeland. Perhaps you are privy to some inside information he didn't post. Absent that now you've demonstrated yourself to be ignorant as well as envious.
Good jorb!
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Permalink Reply by Oddball on
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Envious? Of what? Someone who is miserable? Yeah, uh, I'm really envious, really really....
Note: he says, I have a body that isn't worth a damn.
Doesn't sound like someone who has a physical job, does it, Sherlock?
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Are you really thinking he was talking about the OP when he discussed envy?
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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on
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I'm thinking he doesn't multi-thread very well (in addition to being envious and ignorant). Not the brightest bulb in the lamp.
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