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Permalink Reply by LShieldes on November 26, 2012 at 12:50pm

cynicism requires you to not only look at the negative side of things, it also requires you to tear things down. It perpetuates the cycle of negativity if you are stuck in a negative place. You are re-enforcing the idea that there is negative everywhere, not allowing to find and embrace even the smallest of positives. Even the smallest positive thought can result in huge positive gains in life.

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Permalink Reply by Scott Omega on November 26, 2012 at 1:36pm

Cynicism is about hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

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Permalink Reply by Sam Williams on November 26, 2012 at 12:25pm

Dude, that sucks.

As far as health goes, one of the problems I've seen is that as soon as someone mentions health/fitness, the enthusiasts swoop in like vultures. :-p Invariably, you get suggestions that are basically a huge lifestyle shock. Hit the gym five times a week, and completely change your diet. Oh, and do that yesterday. For me, that is really intimidating. I've improved my health without severe discomfort, basically by tweaking what I already do. It's interesting that as I've seen the small but noticeable results of my efforts, it's given me a more positive outlook on doing even more to take my health up a notch more. I hope this gives you some encouragement, and is something that will help you notice things you can tweak about your specific lifestyle.

Here's a really simple workout routine. I do this three times a week, and it only takes 26 minutes. It's so short that anyone can do it. There's no long videos to watch with exercises so complicated that once you finally figure them out, the video has moved on to the next exercise (frustrating).

For each of the below, take four seconds to do each exercise repetition - one second to lift, three seconds to lower. For example, for each pushup, take one second to push up, take three seconds to slowly lower yourself down. It's very controlled. Do that ten times and you've done ten pushups in 40 seconds. Between each set of ten, rest for 40 seconds. That's 40 seconds on, 40 seconds off. The result is a really simple routine that works your entire body with a balance of light cardio and light muscle growth. The stricter you are with the 40 seconds on/40 seconds off, the harder your heart will be beating.

In this order:

• Four sets of 10 Squats
• Four sets of 10 pushups
• Four sets of 10 bent over rows
• Four sets of 10 standing rows
• Four sets of 10 crunches (optional)

 

I use a cheap set of adjustable dumbbells I snagged from Craigslist, and I increase the weight I use any time I feel like I did the four sets and felt like I could easily have kept going for an additional 5th set.

Regarding tweaking your eating habits, here are some quick ways I shaved some calories without gigantic lifestyle change:

• No more eating everything left on the table after a meal, just because there isn't enough remaining to justify storing in the fridge.
• Serve myself just a little bit less than I would typically.
• Change the ratio between high and low caloric items, maybe a little bit more corn and a little bit less cheesy mashed potatoes.
• Maybe a bit more salad up front, and a little less gravy poured over everything else.
• Skip dessert a few times a week.
• Go for coffee over soda for a caffeine fix.

Now that I've combined the food intake tweaks with the exercise routine, I basically weigh the same, but the bulk is moving from my gut to my chest and shoulders. I would see faster progress if I made more effort, but it's more important to me to stay on a sustainable path than to go cold turkey or whole hog on some diet or workout routine, only to crash after a while from the shock.

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Permalink Reply by Preston on November 29, 2012 at 1:20pm

Great suggestions. As far as starting simply...start walking. It is very easy to implement and very effective if done regularly.

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Permalink Reply by Richard on November 26, 2012 at 1:27pm

"...His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the
consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even
more vehemently: when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take
the action that would create it."

-Lois McMaster Bujold, writer (b. 1949)

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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on November 26, 2012 at 1:44pm

Welcome to life Victor.  I don't know anyone who is perfectly satisfied with their picture of themselves.  There is always something that they want to change.

Before you go off trying to 'better' yourself you need to learn to like yourself with all your faults both real and percieved.  To do that you must learn who you really are, not the armor or the mask you wear around others, not the percieved idea, the mask, that you hold up to yourself in the mirror but the real you. 

To motivate yourself for change you have to know yourself as well.  Think about when you were the happiest or most satisfied.  What caused that, what was going on in your life that made you feel that way, what were you doing?  Think about when you were the most unhappy you have ever been.  What was going on, what were you doing, or what what were people doing?  These are your carrots and sticks, use them.

To change you also need to learn self-control, and that seems to be a sticking point with you.  It is one of mine as well.

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Permalink Reply by Joe on November 28, 2012 at 6:56pm

My advise is this:  Buy "Every Man's Bible" and start a reading plan that gets you through it in one year.  Also consider daily walks and/or light jogging for overall good physical health. 

God bless.

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Permalink Reply by J. on November 29, 2012 at 10:35am

Green tea (the loose-leaf stuff, not the bagged stuff) has been shown in some studies to help metabolize fat. Replace every 16 oz. soda with two cups of green tea (don't add milk or sugar, just learn to appreciate the taste of the tea itself). A friend of mine made that one small change and shed 10 pounds in 3 months. Made 0 other changes, lost the weight. Imagine coupling that power with regular exercise and better eating!

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Permalink Reply by Zachary Schamp on November 29, 2012 at 2:33pm

Im telling you man, swimming is the best form of exercise out there. Everytime I swim I work my ass off and push myself, and when I leave the pool I feel 1000X better. If you want to get into a good exercise routine, swim for 30 minutes to an hour every day. It will lift your spirits, energy, and put you into shape. Just stick with it! Don't give up on yourself. Also, go to the gym and lift weights, run/ walk in the morning and evening. Play sports with friends like racketball or tennis or anything. Just be PROACTIVE. You need to do it for yourself, not for looks, but for your health and well-being. The looks come after your health. Don't eat out everyday... eat sandwiches and vegetables. These are all things I do on a regular day basis because I want to be healthy and fit. Anyone can do them you don't need to pay a coach or a surgeon or a personal trainer to get you into shape and good health. It's up to you.. Be your best. 

Cheers.

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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on November 29, 2012 at 4:00pm

Victor,

Where are you and why are you where you are?  What are you currently doing for work and free-time?

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Permalink Reply by Oddball on December 10, 2012 at 10:26am

Get a job that requires the use of a shovel or a hammer. Go like fuck at that for a while in all kinds of weather, from dawn till dusk, rain, hail and snow.

Then take a look at all the guys who have office jockey jobs, who go to the gym to stay in shape with their baby-soft hands, but have never done a hard day's work in their wasted lives.

Congratulations, you can now look them in the eye knowing that you have done an honest day's work. Damn sure they haven't.

First step to getting your self esteem back.

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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on December 10, 2012 at 11:16am

Then take a look at all the guys who have office jockey jobs, who go to the gym to stay in shape with their baby-soft hands, but have never done a hard day's work in their wasted lives.

Try to not let your jealousy of those better than you make you so bitter that you give bad advice.

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