I hate the fact that its affecting me as much as it is. Those who followed my last post my girlfriend has ended our relationship and I'm suffering badly.  I'm trying to focus on my life, I'm trying to keep my mind off it but it isn't going well.  

I frigging hate how needy and whiney this is making me.  I feel like a little kid who can't get a grip on my emotions.  I've been doing the exercise, I've been focusing on old projects that I've had on the go.  Anything to stop me from trying to call or text her. I practically invented the no contact rule and here I am fighting the urge to contact her. 

Any advice as to what helped others get themselves together after a breakup would be appreciated.  When I'm focused on something I'm OK but as soon as the task is done I'm right back where I started.

My friend base is right in that age group where everyone is married or engaged and their wives/girlfriends don't want them to come out for a good old fashioned pub blowout with me.  Drinking along at the bar sure isn't my idea of a recovery.

Dammit this sucks.

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Sack up.

She's gone.  Crying and whining ain't going to bring her back, and it sure as shit isn't going to attract a new mate.  

Like the Copperhead Road dweller stated, Sack Up.  Women come and go. Keep your mind occupied, stop your bitching; and if you want somethin to hold, buy a new shirt and shoes, splash on some cologne, cheer the hell up and go find you a lil somethin. 

There are steps that can be taken.

1. Decide that it is over.  She has decided that it is over, now  it is time for you decide the that it is over.

2.Stay busy. Remember, you can't think your way into right acting, but you can act your way into right thinking.

3. Get rid of anything you have that is hers.

When you have done all that post again and I will tell you some more things to do.

Look, your life doesn’t depend on any specific job, any one house, any particular car and especially only one woman!  You may need a job, a house, a car, or even a woman—but you DON’T need any particular job, house car or woman.  Here’s your chance to grow as a man.  Practice the things that will make you a better person— get in shape, take some college classes, learn practical social skills, eat healthy, seek out growth experiences--  Hone yourself-- GET OUT AND DO IT!  Once you feel better about yourself and your abilities you’ll be over her; I promise you.

Thanks for the advice. Strangely, it turns out I really needed to hear it. 

Her stuff is boxed up and going to be left at the front door for her to pick up tomorrow. All photos, messages, etc have been cleared from my computer and phone.  I've got classes on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays after work to keep me from stewing (cooking, welding and percussion).

I also signed up for the OK cupid thing.  My profile is set private so people can't message me but I'm finding just seeing all the hot women available in my area is really getting me excited about dating.  I think I need to have my head on a bit straighter before I hit the market but it helps to know the dating pool hasn't dried up.

I'm already in the gym 4 days a week working weights, but I'm going to give a few exhaustive cardio sessions a try.

Yeah, you do need your head on straight, but I'm not sure signing up for Ok cupid just to look at hot women is the way to do it. 

I know a man whose wife died a few years ago, and for the last several months he's been dating another woman. Now he has hastily married her. He used to do the landscaping at the church, but since he has been with her he has barely even been attending... [one] Moral of the story: Don't date too soon after a breakup/separation. Your emotions are raw and you not entirely rational. 

Really? You tell Pale Horse not to judge because he has no idea what he is talking about, and here you go doing the same thing. For some people going to church is a lifetsyle improvement, not a detriment. No need for the blanket baseless assertion that dropping church from your life is better for you. 

He not only stopped attending, but stopped doing the landscaping,a duty he said he would fulfill, without notice.

He started dating while he was still grieving, confusing a shoulder to cry on with a lover, in my opinion. Now she consumes a lot of his time, which he already said he would devote elsewhere. He has welched on other things, too, but I won't get into detail.

The point is that he hardly even picks up his phone when you call him. It's kind of freaky.

Y'all are a reminder of what he lost.  He's trying to move on.  New wife.  New life.  Probably a new church.  Wish him well.

 

Don't judge the man for how he deals with a tragedy that you can't understand.  You're not experienced enough to give his life a once over.


JB

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