So activity on this site looks to be pretty dead compared to what it may have used to be; here are some of the reason why I think AOM is dead in the water:

1. No common purpose or mission statement.

There doesn't seem to be much of any real purpose or common set of values on this forum, other than "being mainly" which is extremely vague, and there's almost no agreed on definition here of what that even is anyway, and what advice there is here is usually just bland stuff like "derp support the family, the trophy wife and kids derp" which shows no depth or nuance of understanding on the subject.

From what I can tell a good chunk of the regulars here don't read Brett's articles or have much interest in his ideas on the subject anyway. In chat and on the forum you here more people talking about superfluous stuff such as the last piece of electronic gear they bought, the coworkers who annoy them, 4chan memes Trump's "Twitter politics", their trophy wife and kids, or their opinions on hot anime a girls - lame... Heck, it seems that some folks have no purpose being here at all beyond just wanting an account on a website with "manliness" in the title to tell them that they're "manly", lol

2. Boring, bland, vanilla "advice"

A lot of the shit that gets regurgitated here in the actual "advice" sections is just boring, mind-numbing shtick that might've as well just been repeated word-for-word from reruns of Oprah or Dr. Phil, and is next to useless for folks seeking real self-improvement.

You see such enthralling, panty-dropping subjects of discussion such as - whether one should take "corporate career", how much a guy should pay for dates with the girl he hopes to make his trophy wife and make some trophy kids with, discussions 'financial topics' such as 401Ks, retirement packages, and other jargonese which is so ugly that talking about them in the company of the opposite sex is likely the most effective birth control on the planet.

In short, it basically just screams "basic, bland bourgeois miserable middle class McMansion mortgage owner" who's knowledge on most things ends where Wikipedia begins, and who'd rather be collectively mediocre than individually successful.

3. Griping

That said, given how inane a lot of the actual discussion here is, there a ridiculous amount of griping stuff from every "side of the fence", but considering how little of any real "mission or purpose" anyone seems to have for the site, it makes the griping pretty pointless when you think about it.

I mean, what's the purpose about constantly griping about the site's decline, the behavior of banned trolls, and making self-fellating "suggestions" about the glorious future of the site, if most of the actual discussion you actually engage in here is about Reddit memes and episodes of Bob's Burgers.

When a good percent of what passes for 'serious discussion' is already boring and mind-numbing enough to make watching paint dry stimulating in comparison, I don't honestly think that Chu Kim sharing his fantasies about street racing guys in Camaros and f-ing their girlfriends if he wins could do much more than liven a dead place up.

In the end it becomes apparent that the site's is just used as a gripe site where people who have little genuine interest in the website go just to gripe about behavior on a dead website which they don't even care about to begin with, lol

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On Facebook I found a website group that I joined called The Good Men Project (  But not long after I joined I found out that this group was basically  led by women, so I then felt like this group was a place where women would tell men what they should be like (can you imagine what would happen if the genders were reversed??), so I cancelled my membership there.  AoM basically then is the only place for open man stuff discussions for me.

Interesting, not to get off on a rant but to some extent I can understand why "women telling men how to be" is more of a natural norm than reversed, because anthropologically speaking it is actually women, not men, who do the 'mate selection' - in fact he word "husband" relates to the word "husbandry", which refers to "taming a wild stallion".

So the notion that in the context of relationship dynamics, it's essentially women who "prune" or "tame" the man to make him into less of a rowdy, horny adolescent, and more of a civilized fellow, is pretty culturally universal whether from secular or religious ideas.

Obviously in the case of nagging, overbearing harpies, it can get excessive (which is what the Bible meant when it said "wives, be submissive to your husbands - this didn't actually mean "take orders" from your husbands as sometimes misinterpreted, but actually was requesting that wives not run too 'tight a ship' and try to tame or change their husband excessively).

Definitely helps to keep in mind that at least from a broad, anthropological perspective, the sexes aren't "equal" so expecting pure equal "treatment" 100% of the time, when the social dynamics simply aren't the same, is obviously idealistic.

(That said, the website likely sucked, since a man seeking "crowdsourced" advice from a bunch of "random women" on the internet is probably not the best way to get advice unless he's a total putz who blindly follow any "advice" that any member of the opposite sex would give him without discerning its quality - as opposed to seeking advice from a trusted female confidante).

And yet here you are.

There's got to be plenty of paint you can watch dry, and, more seriously, plenty of web sites you can browse that aren't amazingly tedious.  You might wonder:  what draws you here?  and is it something you can get elsewhere without slogging through all the horrible stuff you perceive here?  Because if I found a board as contemptible and mind-numbing as you describe, I wouldn't spend another moment on it, much less join 3 times and make dozens of posts in a day.

You got me. To be honest main reason I come here is to argue controversial ideas and sometimes be "devil's advocate".

In my day that's what bars and coffee houses were for.

"You got me. To be honest main reason I come here is to argue controversial ideas and sometimes be "devil's advocate"

Fixed it for you.

Time for some self-reflection, then, because life's too short to spend so much of the day on something pointless and unpleasant.


I've gone from religiously reading AoM daily to a very occasional visitor.

Many reasons, but in the main, unless you're really into a niche Group, it looks a lot like folks have said what they had so say, and left.

I'll agree the main page does seem to be recycling a fair number of older posts. 

Even when I was here last year I think, I recall seeing more activity, though a lot of it was centered around the politics, so maybe a lot of people were coming here primarily just to discuss the election, and moved on once it was over.

Last year in the group, "the great debate" it was very lively. LOL It was almost put your dukes up and slug it out. Great times to watch. I agree that it is very slow here and to me that is sad. Most men of a certain age just cannot stand a lot of the politically correct ideas that we have now. I for one am a man. I was raised to be a certain way by a great man. I have raised 3 boys to grow into good men also. Men are not now or have ever been women. This has been forgotten and that is why I came here in the first place. We have lost our way here but need to try to find our way back to true manliness.

Men and women are equal, but they are not the same.  (There's a big difference between "equal" and "the same.")


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