This is what Real Men are about. This is just my opinion, take it or leave it.
1. Have you're own place. Don't live with your parents. Exceptions to this are you're 18 and younger, going through a divorce or bad break up, going to college and it saves you money, yourself or your parents are struggling or in bad health.
2. Have a car. Exceptions to this are you live in a big city where it's not feasible to own a car.
3. Have a normal (short) haircut. Seriously no long hair... You're not a viking, Fabio, or a pro wrestler. Real men go to barbershops not salons PERIOD. No dying you're hair, no highlights, and real men don't use a whole lot of products. Again a classic haircut is to be desired.
4. Facial hair is acceptable, but if you're going to have facial hair it needs to be rugged, yet refined. There's a balance between rugged and homeless looking. It's acceptable to have a full beard, but learn how to take care of it so you don't look like Charles Manson. However, don't over groom and sculpt it because that looks super feminine and just not manly.
5. Clothing. If you're a grown man than dress that way. No you don't need to wear a 3 piece suit everyday of your life, but at least own clothes that say Hey I'm an adult, and I look good but at the same time I'm not trying too hard. Here's how you do it:
A. Wear darker jeans with no holes, no fading, etc.
B. None of your clothes should have huge logos, bedazzling, graphics, or stupid "funny" references.
C. Your clothes should fit you. Not too baggy, not too slim. No skinny BS PERIOD!
D. Get yourself some quality footwear. No guy in his 30's should be wearing Jordans. The only exception to this is you're Micheal Jordan. Seriously get yourself a good pair of boots like red wing, wolverine, chippewa, thorogood, etc. If you're going to wear sneakers it needs to be something old school and classic (plain) such as chuck taylors, jack purcell's, vans era, etc.
E. It's good to have at least one basic suit. Just incase. Also learn how to tie a tie.
6. Go easy on the cologne.
7. Violence isn't the answer, however real men know how to defend themselves and their family.
8. Do things outside.
9. Real men know how to cook their own meals, clean, pay bills, balance their finances, keep up with housework, and take care of their responsibilities.
10. Real men can do basic maintenance on many things. You're parents or God help you, your wives shouldn't be changing your tires, oil, lightbulbs, etc.
11. Have some pride. Real men carry themselves professionally. It's not playtime anymore, it's time to grow up.
12. Be well read, and be educated. No matter what anyone says, being up to date on current events and having knowledge is manly. Read books, go to school, learn a trade, have opinions on the world around you. Stand for something. And at the same time be prepared to maturely voice your opinions and have logical discussions. Again this should never lead to fighting if someone believes differently. Just take it at face value and go on with your life.
These are just things that I can think of off the top of my head. Did I miss anything?
But you still need to do them and you will need a suit.
I'd go for the nice restaurant, too.
Dude... calm your tits.
If real men don't care what other men think, then writing a novel of a response and asking so many questions screams volumes about your perception of your own real manliness.
I disagree with number seven. Men are aggressive by nature and while it isn't always needed, it's a valid way for men to settle problems. To quote Navy SEAL Ryan Job, "Despite what your momma told you, violence does solve problems."
"Men are aggressive by nature" just isn't true. Maybe "some" or "many" or even "most," but not all men are aggressive by nature.
And neither is it true that "men are competitive and women are cooperative." My wife told me after working in an all-female environment that many/most of her co-workers were very competitive. (And I would hope that here at AoM especially we all know men who are cooperative.)
In other words, saying things like "Italians eat spaghetti" is wrong; "many Italians eat spaghetti" probably is right.
"I don't have this quality" is better expressed as "I choose not to recognize this quality in myself." Everyone is aggressive, passive, competitive, cooperative, etc. Some shove passivity into shadow; some shove aggression there instead. Universal, human, and less confusing if we recognize our aggression and our passivity.
You're doing yourself a disservice by reducing manhood into an exclusive 12 point list. "Real men" as you call them don't need a list to follow. To many of us, it's a set of character values that make a man. You put others' needs ahead of your own, take care of your family, work hard, be respectful, conduct yourself with integrity, shake a firm hand, be a positive role model. Replying with "calm your tits" and "dry your eyes" not only gives off the impression that you're 16 but is also disrespectful to others.
You've got a ways to go, Specs. But in a sense we all do.
Yes fuck the rules,carve out your own life,fear not.
1. What about when you live in an eastern society where living with your whole family is socially acceptable? Or if the economy is so fucked up, you can't afford your own place even if you work extra hard? Have you thought of that?
2. What if I don't need a car? Or if, again, I can't afford one? Does nobody care for the environment!?!
3. In some societies, or in certain professions (mainly artsy ones) long hair is considered manly even today. But yeah, I agree with you.
5. Why can't I wear brighter jeans with no holes, fades, etc.?
8. Agreed, but can you be more specific?
10. Oh please, as if changing a lightbulb is all that difficult! But in general, I agree.
11. This, I really need to work on (have trouble with self-esteem).
You forgot though: don't read comics, watch cartoons, and play video-games, because adult people should be doing these things! :p