Ok I feel a little silly asking this but the last time I was single, I was 18... I'm now 29 so I'm feeling like a total amateur in the male/female relationship department.
I've got this girl friend. We've known each other for a while but haven't really hung out in years. We've started talking a lot, she supported me through a breakup a couple weeks ago, and now we've arranged to hang out.
We talked about me cooking dinner for us, which I actually suggested really innocently and she seems cool with it...
Here's the thing. She has a boyfriend, of a couple years.
Now, from an outsiders point of view (or an insiders point of view to you guys who are in relationships) am I stepping out of line here? I REALLY don't want to screw with this girls relationship and I certainly don't want to cause this guy (who I don't know, I should add) any heartache.
So, should I take a step back a little and maybe rethink the dinner plans, or is it cool to proceed.
A lot of wisdom in this post above - about a lot more than the OP's question.
Yeah, it's been expensive.
You can substitute the "getting married" part for "stays in a relationship" (committed or otherwise).
Now. Sack up and move on. There is another gal out there w/o all the baggage and drama.
Unless you're into baggage and drama. In that case you're set.
I think you did the right thing. Life is sometimes complicated (like, 90% of the time, if you're doing it right.) If she's feeling something she hasn't felt in a long time, that could be anything from the initial rush of attraction and infatuation, which will pass after a short while, to the beginning of a much deeper connection. There's only one way to find out where on this continuum it is.
She's an adult, and it's up to her, not you, to decide how "taken" she is. You know what you want. You also know what you're comfortable with doing and how fast to proceed. Follow your gut.
Make up your mind. . . see her and instigate. . . don't see her and don't instigate. YOU LEAD! If she leads you just get lost.
I don't understand this "creepy" emotion! They don't have kids, they aren't married, they aren't engaged, they don't even live together. Most, not all, women want something/someone around. . . most of the time. It's an emotional thing. It's only "creepy" if you're a stalker or something.
In life stuff happens. . .
If you've always had a choice you life has been "comfortable"(not necessarily easy but, comfortable). . .
Few, and I mean damned few things are black and white. . .
TJ. . .
You and her have choices. Her boyfriend has choices. They don't have kids. If they did the kids have NO choices. It's really up to YOU mostly and her partly.
Well this is all progressing rather uneventfully. Which I suppose is neither a good, nor bad thing in the grand scheme of things.
We've continued to hang out, talk, text, a lot... I've maintained the expression of my feelings and she's opened up a little more but seems quite committed to her current guy. I'm pretty sure the feelings are mutual, she's just reluctant to explore them due to her existing relationship.
At this stage, I'm kinda thinking it's just gonna go nowhere and ultimately lead to a gradual loss of interest by both her and I. She's a great girl, I like her a lot, and there's an undeniable connection there, and she's definitely hot, but unfortunately very much taken. The more time we spend together, the less I want to screw her relationship up, not so much because of the dude, but because of her. She seems comfortable, I wouldn't want to take that away from her, regardless of how much I'd rather she was sleeping in my bed and not his.
Still, it's been good to meet new people, and has arguably helped me move on from my prior relationship.