Hello all. I need some advice. I have two proms coming up (wednesday of next week and the saturday of next week, her's is first, mine is second). I have my tux waiting and have my date as well (same lady for both proms), asked her in september as I didnt want to be in the position most of my other buddies are in (dateless), and I like her so I wanted to make sure I could get her before anyone else could (I pondered this for months and she was my top choice). My problem is, I do not dance or feel as if I can dance as I never have danced (I mean properly dancing, have grinded once at a school dance not to long ago, not by my own choice but that was still awkward for me). Grinding doesnt count as dancing to me. Even at family get togethers I dont dance as I'm too shy and feel awkward and nervous. My date on the other hand, I would imagine would probably want to dance a lot as shes very cheery, bright and filled with vibrancy. I want to actually dance with her and am going to try. I'm more comfortable with the idea of slow dancing and am pretty interested in it but dancing to something not slow and simple, on your own irks me. Can anyone share any advice or pointers for me please, as I want to make sure she has a great time at both. As well as myself but mainly her because if she doe's, then il be more than happy. Many thanks.
I'm looking to dance as much as I "can", but I'm sure I'll loosen up after one or two dances and once I get to know her friends after the dinner. I'll be sure to think off all you guy's tips, they've helped a ton.
One word: "Vodka".
Ha I wish.
So I know your prom is over now, and hopefully you were able to bring your A-game and at least get the kiss or the make-out (or maybe a little more!), but if you didn't, that's too bad man, do better next time.
As far as dancing advice, I was once like you - I didn't like grinding. But I'm also a pragmatist, and I was able to see very quickly that grinding has it's benefits. Namely, it allows you to physically escalate with your girl in a really short amount of time. Think about it, you're starting with your hands on her hips, then as you get used to the rhythm you can move in with your body, your chest closing in on her back, your hands exploring slowly her curves, you get the idea. As long as you do it with confidence smoothness like you know what you're doing you can get the kiss in ten minutes flat. Soon enough you two are making out on the dance floor. High-five, my friend.
Since your prom's all over though you might as well go get some dance lessons. If you and your date are a couple now why don't you invite her to take some ballroom dancing lessons with you? Your dancing conundrum will forever be solved.
It's actually not over and hasn't started heh. it starts in 19 hours and 15 mins (and counting). Then I have 3 days till the next one.
The thing with 'grinding' is indeed that you can 'cop a feel' and get to the kiss in ten minutes. Point is that it is a cheap, impersonal kiss. I've got the feeling that Weaver here actually really likes this girl, and seeing as she asked him too, that feeling is most likely mutual. In that case i can only say that it's worth it to wait for a nice, romantic moment. That doesn't mean you have to wait for the door, but it's not the kind of thing you want to do while grinding your bodies to the sound of a speech-impaired rapper shouting 'Yeah' and 'OWHKAY'. Especially since you have a second prom to think about. You have all the time in the world.
Now, before you think i'm the sort of hopeless romantic that has seen to many chick-flicks and doesn't know what he's talking about: i've dallied with enough women to make a big lot of the AoM jealous, and completely appall the other. I've been around the block on that one.
And still: taking ballroom lessons is fun, but it doesn't solve anything in the category 'normal modern dance'. It might make you more confident, but one doesn't simply perform a nice foxtrot while some silly girl with an electronic voice is implying that you should call her maybe.
Have fun Chris! Are we going to see your prom-picture?
Despite his mushy-gushy sounding advice, Dastard does have a point. If you dance like every other guy that loves to jam his crotch into a girl’s ass on the dance floor, yes, your kiss will seem cheap. So how do you take advantage of the quick physical escalation that grinding allows and still come off like Don Juan?
At some point tonight turn to your girl and say, "Let's go dance." When you get on the dance floor start off slow. Dance in your own space in front of her, only touching her right above the hip bone for a few seconds on and off. After a minute or two, move a little closer and place both your hands on her hips, letting her gyrate close to your crotch as you face her. Then step back and take your hands off her. Treat dancing like a dance of its own, where you go back and forth to build toward a climax. Make her wonder why you're not constantly on her. After a minute or so of dancing a couple feet away, gradually come back and bring her hips just a little closer than before. Then step back again.
Keep repeating this cycle until both of you are very close and your hands have explored her hips, sides, and lower back. The final non-kissing move is to get your head close to hers where your cheeks are barely touching, you can feel her body heat, and she’s not pulling back.
What I just gave you is the same dancing advice I got from a great friend of mine before my senior Military Ball (basically a prom for us military school kids), but I was too much of a chump back then to use it. Since then I've used this method at a few proms, parties and other venues where it's dark and the music is thumping. It's a real game-changer, you'll see.
Also, Dastard says you have all the time in the world to get the kiss, and you do, but don't use that to psyche yourself out when you have the opportunity to go in. The sooner you kiss her, the better, so kiss her tonight. You may think you're moving too fast, but in reality you're probably moving too slow. She agreed to go to two proms with you way back in September, she's probably wondering what's taking you so long to make the move!
Go get her, Casanova.
We would make an extraordinary team Charles! Bravo with little bells on top and all that.....now let's get some beers and see if that uniform can get you any!
Responding to the last two posts-
Well no grinding happened between us (that's not a problem) but we danced. I should say I moved to beats that were possible to move to and did my best which was terrible, but she found it adorable (her choice of wording, I don't refer to myself as adorable), and fun, which I guess is a win. I'll decide if I want to post a pic, I'm not very photogenic. All the attraction in the photo is her.
During a slow dance we got to that close point for about 5 second (what seemed like 5 seconds), but we did not kiss, it was very crowded and I was unsure how she may react. It may happen at mine I suppose, but we'll see. If it doesn't, it doesn't make the experience a bummer as I still got to have a ton of fun with her regardless.