I've about had it with this one. He throws food at almost every meal.
I was telling him no and taking him out of the chair, then putting him back when he "asked" (raises his arms; he can't talk beyond "no"), but the wife thought that just upset him more. I don't like that she puts food on his tray and then waits to see if he's going to eat it or throw it. It's like a setup to fail, and if he throws it, she says no and there's no consequence.
What I get from browsing online is that everybody agrees preverbal is too young for punishment. Here are some other things I have heard:
* Figure out what he really wants. I think I know this. He find it offensive to have food he doesn't like in front of him; he's cleaning his tray and dirtying the floor. There's also the fun toddlers have from dropping things.
Sometimes also he's mad, and he sweeps everything onto the floor to express it.
* Say "no!" and distract him. "If you want to throw we'll go play ball. No throwing food."
* Say "no!" and give him a timeout. The purpose is not punishment but to get him away from the situation. I'm not sure why. I wonder if "timeout" is really meant to apply to tantrums -- the language talks of baby getting out of the environment and calming, which would make sense really only if he isn't calm already, right? -- and this is not a tantrum; it's sort of a bookkeeper's urge. I feel it myself sometimes. I don't have room to do what I want on a kitchen counter so I sweep everything off into the sink or the trash. The wife hates it when I do that. Not from the mess, but "I was using that!"
* Consider if he has an eating disorder. He's gotten so he won't touch vegetables and is very untrusting about things we hand him that aren't bread, meat, or pizza. But isn't this typical? And he doesn't seem to have daintiness about food. Last year I smashed banana onto his hands to see if he'd recoil. He looked at me like I was crazy, but didn't have a problem with it.
* Suffer through it. My wife an I agreed before not to spank. I said, sure, my friend Kevin's kids are very well-behaved and they've never been spanked. So I asked him about this. He said, "Eventually they grow out of wanting to." So much for "well-behaved."
I would love to have some option that doesn't make the wife feel too cruel -- not for long, anyway -- and actually gets him to stop. He's developmentally 1 y o. We have to face the fact that he may just not get it. But he does put down cords when we say "no," so he does understand what no means.