It's a problem common for many young men. And I hope art of manliness might pick this problem up for the young men. 

However I'm addicted and I want to stop it's hard and though and I wondered if someone knows a good book, or if there's a way to stop it! I'm tired of it thanks for your time all! 

Views: 3204

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

There is a website that can help.  It is an accountability software that allows you to download a program that runs in the background of your PC or Mac. You select an accountability partner and each week, they will recieve an email report. If you haven't looked at anything questionable, there are no sites listed. If you do though, they see it.

X3 Watch

go to the Christian men group and search through the various threads (stories). One of them dealt with this.

It is quite simple.  Just stop.  It's easy enough to avoid, and it doesn't take much dedicated self-control to avoid online sites.  The stuff doesn't just "show up", it has to be sought out.

 

 

If it has truly become an addiction, it may not be as easy as "just stop" - just as cold turkey doesn't work for everyone for smoking, or booze. There is a brain chemistry component to porn, which can make it similarly tricky to just quit.

So, yes, simple solution in theory - but not necessarily simple in implementation.

Easier said than done.  Easily-accessible naked women are difficult for healthy men to just quit.  Understandably so.  I don't buy the "addiction" nonsense, though.  I think that's a cop-out.  You're choosing it.  You're succumbing to the temptation.  Acknowledge that you're making the choice, and that its a tough thing to resist.

 

I'd liken it more to overeating than boozing or drugs.  With booze and drugs ... you can quit completely and live a normal life.  If you never touch the stuff again, you'll be fine.  But, you have to eat to live, so overeaters can't quit completely and survive.  They have to learn to control intake rather than just shut-it-off.

Same with porn.  You don't need porn to live -- but, a healthy man needs a sex drive to live well.  To cut-off the desire for porn at the source, you'd have to shut-off the attraction to naked women altogether.  That's a good way to die alone.  You need controlled intake, not cold-turkey.  Controlled intake can be more difficult than cold-turkey.

 

Ultimately, you need to be accountable to somebody else.  You can't control yourself here.  I don't think firewalls or blockers work well ... you can get around them, and you're not going to trick yourself into this.  You need somebody to hold you accountable.  Put your computer in a public area.  Find a way to have your history not-deletable, and accessable to somebody else.

 

JB

That's probably the best post I have read for a long time !

Nice post Jack.

I have to disagree on the "accessibility" part. Accessibility is a big component of any self-control regime. For example, it's much harder to ruin a diet with chocolate if you never buy it when you shop, and consequently it is never in your house. So at least when you're craving it at 9pm and its snowing outside, the amount of effort required to satiate that craving isn't worth the effort of driving five miles in the snow.

Similarly for porn, and alcohol.

Is it foolproof? No. But it's a definite first step.

That might be a better analogy if fat people could just download chocolate at 9pm when its snowing outside ... or, back in the days when men had to leave the house and skulk into some dingy movie shop to get porn.  Anything I can put on my computer, I can get around.  Hell, most cable has instant pay-per-view -- and an internet blocker ain't gonna touch that.  To completely keep porn out of the house, you have to unplug from the rest of the world. Not exactly an option in this day-and-age.

 

Plus, I don't like the idea of padding my own walls so I won't hurt myself.  What happens when I leave my padded house and I haven't learned not to hurt myself because I've just been bouncing off the padded walls?  I'm gonna trip over the first obstacle, and bust my head open.

 

JB

But if they do not have self control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed.

Find a girl you can love AND that you like AND that shares the same outlook on children as you AND that shares the same outlook on finances as you, AND (based on the initiation of this thread) one that likes to have a hell of a lot of sex in a variety of ways. Then marry her.

It doesn't matter, married, head-over-heels-in-love, or not. What the addiction is has nothing to do with the sight it has to do with the brain chemistry that comes with sexual pleasure, here I am assuming that when he looks at porn he is masturbating; if not he is a very different animal than most others. So, even if he finds a woman that LOVES sex the attraction of porn would still be there.

Further as life events change people, there will be times where sex will not be desired by the lady.  What then?

RSS

Latest Activity

Alexander updated their profile
38 minutes ago
Mongoose replied to David F.'s discussion How does one settle one’s mind from how life worked out vs how you thought it would go?
"Oh, incidentally, all humans have what I call "Situational Disability." For instance, for most humans, when the power goes out at night, they are visually disabled if they have no candles or light sources. On the other hand, naked mole…"
45 minutes ago
Mongoose replied to David F.'s discussion How does one settle one’s mind from how life worked out vs how you thought it would go?
"David, to clarify, a person can be diagnosed with a learning disability at any age: A learning disability is any processing difference which impacts learning. I suspect the issue is that you are relying on the school system to determine if there is…"
54 minutes ago
Profile Iconlaconica_brevitas, Veofolnir, Marwan El Hassan and 16 more joined Art of Manliness
1 hour ago
David F. replied to SB's discussion What is success?
"Not relishing interaction is part of depression and a few other things.  The question leads into what hobbies do you have or thought of doing in the past? Why the Puget Sound house?  What is it about that place that made you buy…"
1 hour ago
David F. replied to SB's discussion What is success?
"A good book I have been working through is "Spontaneous Happiness" by Dr. Wiel   I see it as the workhorse who got to the top of the hill you where told to do and you did which is fantastic.  But we don't know how to…"
1 hour ago
David F. replied to David F.'s discussion How does one settle one’s mind from how life worked out vs how you thought it would go?
"Thanks. Head space seems to be the largest issue I have.  We are in a better place then most of the USA but it still feels off / not enough /  a trap ?  Not really sure the words. Perhaps it is from growing up in the 80s & 90s and…"
1 hour ago
dean roger weber replied to Nick Thomas's discussion Hello from KY!
"Hi, Nick, My name is Dean, I live in far Western Kentucky, am 63....and it's nice to meet another Kentucky guy online.....GREAT to meet you!"
2 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service