It's a problem common for many young men. And I hope art of manliness might pick this problem up for the young men. 

However I'm addicted and I want to stop it's hard and though and I wondered if someone knows a good book, or if there's a way to stop it! I'm tired of it thanks for your time all! 

Views: 3208

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

There is a website that can help.  It is an accountability software that allows you to download a program that runs in the background of your PC or Mac. You select an accountability partner and each week, they will recieve an email report. If you haven't looked at anything questionable, there are no sites listed. If you do though, they see it.

X3 Watch

go to the Christian men group and search through the various threads (stories). One of them dealt with this.

It is quite simple.  Just stop.  It's easy enough to avoid, and it doesn't take much dedicated self-control to avoid online sites.  The stuff doesn't just "show up", it has to be sought out.

 

 

If it has truly become an addiction, it may not be as easy as "just stop" - just as cold turkey doesn't work for everyone for smoking, or booze. There is a brain chemistry component to porn, which can make it similarly tricky to just quit.

So, yes, simple solution in theory - but not necessarily simple in implementation.

Easier said than done.  Easily-accessible naked women are difficult for healthy men to just quit.  Understandably so.  I don't buy the "addiction" nonsense, though.  I think that's a cop-out.  You're choosing it.  You're succumbing to the temptation.  Acknowledge that you're making the choice, and that its a tough thing to resist.

 

I'd liken it more to overeating than boozing or drugs.  With booze and drugs ... you can quit completely and live a normal life.  If you never touch the stuff again, you'll be fine.  But, you have to eat to live, so overeaters can't quit completely and survive.  They have to learn to control intake rather than just shut-it-off.

Same with porn.  You don't need porn to live -- but, a healthy man needs a sex drive to live well.  To cut-off the desire for porn at the source, you'd have to shut-off the attraction to naked women altogether.  That's a good way to die alone.  You need controlled intake, not cold-turkey.  Controlled intake can be more difficult than cold-turkey.

 

Ultimately, you need to be accountable to somebody else.  You can't control yourself here.  I don't think firewalls or blockers work well ... you can get around them, and you're not going to trick yourself into this.  You need somebody to hold you accountable.  Put your computer in a public area.  Find a way to have your history not-deletable, and accessable to somebody else.

 

JB

That's probably the best post I have read for a long time !

Nice post Jack.

I have to disagree on the "accessibility" part. Accessibility is a big component of any self-control regime. For example, it's much harder to ruin a diet with chocolate if you never buy it when you shop, and consequently it is never in your house. So at least when you're craving it at 9pm and its snowing outside, the amount of effort required to satiate that craving isn't worth the effort of driving five miles in the snow.

Similarly for porn, and alcohol.

Is it foolproof? No. But it's a definite first step.

That might be a better analogy if fat people could just download chocolate at 9pm when its snowing outside ... or, back in the days when men had to leave the house and skulk into some dingy movie shop to get porn.  Anything I can put on my computer, I can get around.  Hell, most cable has instant pay-per-view -- and an internet blocker ain't gonna touch that.  To completely keep porn out of the house, you have to unplug from the rest of the world. Not exactly an option in this day-and-age.

 

Plus, I don't like the idea of padding my own walls so I won't hurt myself.  What happens when I leave my padded house and I haven't learned not to hurt myself because I've just been bouncing off the padded walls?  I'm gonna trip over the first obstacle, and bust my head open.

 

JB

But if they do not have self control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to be inflamed.

Find a girl you can love AND that you like AND that shares the same outlook on children as you AND that shares the same outlook on finances as you, AND (based on the initiation of this thread) one that likes to have a hell of a lot of sex in a variety of ways. Then marry her.

Further as life events change people, there will be times where sex will not be desired by the lady.  What then?

The only problem is, modern addiction science and neurobiology completely disagree with you about "that addiction nonsense.... that's a cop-out."

 

And cold-turkey on porn is one of the rising methods for treatment of, specifically, internet porn addiction.

 

It's not just cold-turkey from porn, either.

 

The recommended "break" for internet porn addiction is to go no PMO - no Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm.

 

Why?

 

Because overuse of porn "rewires" the pleasure centers of the brain related to the three.

 

The OP will know the severity of his problem first by using the classic "4 C's of addiction;"

 

Loss of Control - the inability to limit usage (he describes this - I've tried but I can't stop)

 

Continued use despite knowlege of Consequences - a young single guy may actually have no consequences... other than; inability to maintain erect while with a real woman, inability to reach orgasm with a real woman, inability to become erect with a real woman, and/or premature ejaculation with a real woman, desensitization of the penis (a clenched fist is a very harsh physical stimulation which most female anatomy will not reproduce) A married man may have the possibility of one pissed-off wife.

 

Compulsion to use - being late for work because of getting a quick rub beforehand, rubbing one out w/ a cell phone in the work bathroom

 

Craving - anxiety when out and around, rushing to get home to watch another clip

 

Further "problem" signs/symptoms;

 

Escalation - finding that "regular" clips no longer arouse, becoming fixated with anal, gonzo, bi, transsexual, gay porn.

 

So, the initial treatment is a 90-day PMO fast to break those assosiations as well as the image desensitization.

 

And yes, a blocker and accountability program will help. A drunk is not going to get sober by hanging out in the bar or with other drunks.

 

Coping skills will also be important. I would recommend that you take a good look at some of the fitness articles here.

 

Why?

 

Well, because every time you get a craving or compulsion, you should redirect into something else. An easy one might be the "Charles Atlas Workout."

 

Second, get out of the house more. Go join an MMA club or something to redirect your attention and energy.

 

The more distracted your focus and energy are, the less power your cravings and compulsions will have. They will diminish over time.

 

Lastly, when battling an addiction, there is always a risk of relapse.

 

Do not let a slip-up be your excuse do dive off the wagon. Steel yourself against it, and let those slips remind you of  what you are working toward.

RSS

Latest Activity

Persona non Grata replied to J.S. Price's discussion Are there any remaining places exclusively for men?
"Not an expert on this myself, fraternal orders like the Freemasons did come to mind, likely churches have men's and women's groups as well. Some types of activities probably tend to naturally be more male than female prevalent, such as…"
3 hours ago
Persona non Grata replied to Chad's discussion Poll: Chose ONE... What is more masculine a hairy body or muscular body? in the group Hairy Men
"I agree with you more or less, I think "alpha" more or less boils down to being a strong leader or having strong leadership qualities. It's not necessarily about being the "toughest" or the "strongest" but about…"
3 hours ago
Persona non Grata joined Chad's group
Thumbnail

Hairy Men

The current trend in fashion is to be hairless and do do whatever necessary to remove hair from your body.  I am proud of my hair! Be proud if your hairy body too. Wear your membership to this group likes badge of honor.See More
3 hours ago
Wild Man joined thehuhman's group
Thumbnail

Manly Mentors

Do you mentor? Have an interest in doing so? Want to connect with others who are making a positive difference in the lives of younger men? Mentoring is not for every man, but if you've felt the call... this is definitely YOUR group!See More
3 hours ago
jazzgirl205 replied to Persona non Grata's discussion Men who whine about women?
"I think you're right. "
3 hours ago
george morgan replied to Chad's discussion Poll: Chose ONE... What is more masculine a hairy body or muscular body? in the group Hairy Men
"An alpha male isn't just about hair or muscles; an alpha male is identified by his confident demeanor and his comfortable attitude toward those around him; he is also identified by his friendliness that draws people to him. People are just…"
3 hours ago
Persona non Grata replied to Persona non Grata's discussion Will Western civilization collapse? in the group The Great Debate
"The mere "existence" of the problem isn't the issue so much as the how widespread it potentially is.100 years ago there was "man made pollution" from automobiles but not nearly to the same degree as today; 50 years ago porn,…"
4 hours ago
Persona non Grata replied to Persona non Grata's discussion Men who whine about women?
"I probably sounded like that but that's not what I meant. I think commitment and marriage is "good". I think the ideal 'alpha' man is the best of both worlds, not one extreme or another.My main issue is that, at least in…"
4 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service