I find it a little funny I had this experience right after reading How to Enter a Room Like a Man, but maybe that's why I caught it.
I'm a political reporter for a local TV station, and we're in the throes of election season right now. I set up an interview with one of the candidates for Lt. Governor while he was in town on the campaign trail.
The interview was pretty run of the mill, but when he entered the room, his handshake and presence was so powerful, I found myself taking two steps backwards. From that point on, I felt the direction of the interview was pretty much out of my control.
I've always been a strong proponent of a firm handshake, eye contact, and a commanding presence, but up to this point, never really noticed how much it could influence what's happening in a room or conversation.
In your experiences, be it business or social, have you found this to be the case? It makes me wonder if I need to up my game a little bit.
Thanks in advance for the manly advice!
I personally only had that happen to me once, when in the presence of the POTUS. It was electrifying.
With local politicians that manner seems manufactured and in-genuine to me; plastic figures acting out a script.
Met someone who's been on Martha Stewart a few times who describes her as such; that would be interesting to witness.
As far as developing it, I posit A) a person has those tendencies already and has had the right opportunities in life to develop them to the level you've seen or B) a person works very, very hard to acquire that manner (another character trait some people seem to have more than others).
Which POTUS? Everyone I've talked to who know Wilhelm Von der Schlickmeister (aka Bill Clinton) say he is the most charismatic person they've ever met.
Yup, it was him.
I tell everyone the reason I went from Independent to registered democrat was to vote against him in the primary.
You just had your first encounter with a very charismatic person. At that level you either have it or you don't. It can't be learned. It can't be faked.
The majority of communication is non verbal. What the O.P. experienced was the establishment of the pecking order that all men perform and participate in, regardless of rather it is conscious or not. You absolutely can learn how to do consciously participate in that social dynamic.
The communication that establishes the situation the OP describes is communicating to other people that #1. you and your opinions and decisions have no power and #2. mine do.
No. "At that level" was the key phrase you appear to have missed. Perhaps an analogy will help.
While anyone with a reasonable level of athletic ability can learn to play golf only a handful will ever have the skill to break par. Of them an even smaller number will become professionals. Then playing professionals. Then Tour pros. Then winners. Then Major winners. Then multiple Major winners.
And then there is Bobby/Ben/Byron/Sam/Arnie/Gary/et al. The guys everyone who knows golf knows by their first name.
And then there is Jack and Tiger.
Think Jack and Tiger.
It definitley can be faked.
Fake it till you make it: