This is a weird one and the only reason I'm asking is because I've had a certain Best Friend's girlfriend accuse me of "making her feel like less of a good girl friend because I do things for him" Such as when he had the flu VERY badly last fall I went out after a week and got much needed necessities (bananas, Gatorade, then some when you are well snacks, and a LOL card). She then said when I do nice things like this it makes her feel like less of a good girlfriend since she doesn’t have a car and can't do things like this. The mean part of me feels like saying "That's your problem, suck it up." but I'm a nice guy... that and I don't want to cause ANYMORE drama (I've posted about previous drama and issues with them)

 

The thing is... my friends and I did this back in college so for me it a natural extension, when my other close friend had back surgery I got him a few comics and some snacks. Both he and his wife loved it. 

 

It's the way I am. I'm a nice guy and I try to be a good friend

 

But with all the issues in the past the last thing I need to here is "You make me feel..." which I could hear because she won't be back for his birthday, she's in another country currently. Last year I took him out to dinner for his birthday and we had a great time. Just two friends being guys, and having a good time. Now that he's dating her I'm a little leery of asking. He has said that his birthday isn't a big deal but it's something i like to do for my friends.

 

So my question is this... Is it weird to take a best friend out to dinner and just enjoy the camaraderie?

Tags: Friendship, NO, drama, women

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How she feels IS her problem. There is absolutely noting wrong with hanging out with your best friend, especially on their birthday. She sounds terribly insecure if you doing kind things for your buddy makes her feel like a bad girlfriend.

Well it is what it is. 

Some of the guys did make some good points in her favor and how she views things. Yes it may seem weird. But I've had guys and girls do nice things for me and my family when we are sick, surgery, etc. That's what we SHOULD be doing for each other in my opinion.

Funny thing... she go back last night and was messaging me earlier. taking it at face value, and I want things better between her and I for as long as they are dating. Afterwards we'll see what happens.

Lol....afterwards doesnt matter. If they break up, then she died in a firey crash, and you seemed to care as little as I would, no one would bat an eyelash. The only reason to male things work os for your best friend's sake. If she not in his life anymore... who gives a shit about her.

Because I'm a nice guy. But yeah you are right Lucius. 

I'm doing it for him, not because he wants me to (his words were "I don't care") but because that's the right thing to do.

You DO seem like a nice guy, Jason, and friends that show they care are precious friends, indeed. But the heart of respect is considering how your behavior impacts someone's feelings even if you don't agree with how their feelings come to be. It would take just a bit more effort to figure out how to show that you care for your friend while at the same time considering his girlfriend's feelings - fickle and delicate though they may be.
Figure out how to give a gift to them as a couple, or when you go visit your friend take a date yourself - or just another friend.
Once she trusts you and lets her guard down, she likely won't consider you a threat.

Hi Jason,

No not at all.  I think you are lucky to have such a close friend.  And I think it's really nice you care for him.  I drove miles to deliver chicken soup to my sick friend.  I think she should be happy that her boyfriend has such a caring friend. Also it's great that you have such comaradie and get a long so well.  That's not always easy to find and it's great to see how you see that and value it.  You have a right to a best friend. Think of it this way - if she had a girlfriend who did similar things for her noone would think anything of it would they.  You are a really nice guy pal.

Cheers,

Peter

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