This is a weird one and the only reason I'm asking is because I've had a certain Best Friend's girlfriend accuse me of "making her feel like less of a good girl friend because I do things for him" Such as when he had the flu VERY badly last fall I went out after a week and got much needed necessities (bananas, Gatorade, then some when you are well snacks, and a LOL card). She then said when I do nice things like this it makes her feel like less of a good girlfriend since she doesn’t have a car and can't do things like this. The mean part of me feels like saying "That's your problem, suck it up." but I'm a nice guy... that and I don't want to cause ANYMORE drama (I've posted about previous drama and issues with them)

 

The thing is... my friends and I did this back in college so for me it a natural extension, when my other close friend had back surgery I got him a few comics and some snacks. Both he and his wife loved it. 

 

It's the way I am. I'm a nice guy and I try to be a good friend

 

But with all the issues in the past the last thing I need to here is "You make me feel..." which I could hear because she won't be back for his birthday, she's in another country currently. Last year I took him out to dinner for his birthday and we had a great time. Just two friends being guys, and having a good time. Now that he's dating her I'm a little leery of asking. He has said that his birthday isn't a big deal but it's something i like to do for my friends.

 

So my question is this... Is it weird to take a best friend out to dinner and just enjoy the camaraderie?

Tags: Friendship, NO, drama, women

Views: 1184

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

How she feels IS her problem. There is absolutely noting wrong with hanging out with your best friend, especially on their birthday. She sounds terribly insecure if you doing kind things for your buddy makes her feel like a bad girlfriend.

Well it is what it is. 

Some of the guys did make some good points in her favor and how she views things. Yes it may seem weird. But I've had guys and girls do nice things for me and my family when we are sick, surgery, etc. That's what we SHOULD be doing for each other in my opinion.

Funny thing... she go back last night and was messaging me earlier. taking it at face value, and I want things better between her and I for as long as they are dating. Afterwards we'll see what happens.

Lol....afterwards doesnt matter. If they break up, then she died in a firey crash, and you seemed to care as little as I would, no one would bat an eyelash. The only reason to male things work os for your best friend's sake. If she not in his life anymore... who gives a shit about her.

Because I'm a nice guy. But yeah you are right Lucius. 

I'm doing it for him, not because he wants me to (his words were "I don't care") but because that's the right thing to do.

You DO seem like a nice guy, Jason, and friends that show they care are precious friends, indeed. But the heart of respect is considering how your behavior impacts someone's feelings even if you don't agree with how their feelings come to be. It would take just a bit more effort to figure out how to show that you care for your friend while at the same time considering his girlfriend's feelings - fickle and delicate though they may be.
Figure out how to give a gift to them as a couple, or when you go visit your friend take a date yourself - or just another friend.
Once she trusts you and lets her guard down, she likely won't consider you a threat.

RSS

Latest Activity

Rick Shelton replied to Will's discussion What's going on in those heads in the group The Great Debate
"I think shutting down some of the social programs that enable the culture would be the best way to accomplish that goal.  I don't think it will be easy, as a matter of fact it may cause some serious repercussions socially and politically."
2 minutes ago
Matt Lackner joined Shane Belin's group
Thumbnail

Brewers, Mazers, and Winemakers

..oh my! Make your own mead, wine, or beer? Then join up.
9 minutes ago
Leto Atreides II replied to John Muir's discussion The End of Quantitative Easing As We Know It in the group The Great Debate
"What does Alaska have to do with anything? Oh, wait. I see. A Palin reference. Do you get extra points for that? Rhodes Scholar. Big whoop. Jimmy Carter was a Naval officer and by all accounts has the highest IQ of any President. 2nd worst…"
10 minutes ago
John Muir replied to Brad Williams's discussion Shooting clays - worth it for $2,000? in the group Riflemen
"It really depends on how much $2000 is to you, and how long you're going to be living in Thailand, and how often you come to the states. If $2K isn't a HUGE amount of money, I'd say it's worth it - especially if you don't…"
19 minutes ago
Curtis replied to Will's discussion What's going on in those heads in the group The Great Debate
"I don't know who Annie Hawkins-Turner is.  Assuming she has large breasts though..."
22 minutes ago
John Muir replied to John Muir's discussion The End of Quantitative Easing As We Know It in the group The Great Debate
"Not really. CA is the #1 economy and Arkansas is #35, but it's nowhere near as small an economy as Sarah Palin's Alaska. Plus, Clinton before being governor was a Rhodes Scholar and a Lawyer.... What was Reagan?"
32 minutes ago
Jackalope Glen replied to Brad Williams's discussion Shooting clays - worth it for $2,000? in the group Riflemen
"It is all going to depend on the individual. I love sporting clays myself. I am not really a skeet and trap fan. I could see myself getting bored really fast if those were the only two options. Same goes for me with pistol or rifle shooting though.…"
35 minutes ago
Curtis replied to Will's discussion What's going on in those heads in the group The Great Debate
"Not exclusively, no.  It's about culture.  Being raised by whites, instilled with the values, beliefs and world-view of a white upbringing will most definitely be contributing factors to his ability to reach the white house. No doubt…"
38 minutes ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service