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Nice Guys vs Jerks in Female Attraction, Scientific Evidence and Cultural Stigmas
As part of my research requirements for psychology, I've been spending many hours writing up a meta analysis (study of past compiled research) on the nice guy stereotype, and I thought this would be a good place to share it. I'll briefly summarize the validity of certain cultural stigmas as well as clarify what the science on the matter actually is. Keep in mind, what I am presenting is not opinion-based nor opinion-oriented, it is a citation and explanation of various research conducted under the scientific method. When you see a name and a date, ie: "(Darwin, 1871)", that is me citing a source.
"Nice guys finish last," is the expression often used to describe a woman's tendency to be attracted more to a jerk than a nice guy. From anecdotal experience, it can seem to be the case.
So, is it true? Yes, but that also depends on how you define nice guys and their competitors, whether they be described as alpha males, jerks, or aggressive men. It has indeed been shown that males who have passive admiration for females are seen as less attractive (McDaniel 1985), but it is also true that empathy and respectfulness, when isolated as variables, do tend to be seen as slightly attractive to women (Ubaniak 2003).
This is the case because it isn't an alpha male's callousness that females find attractive on a primal level, it is the man's ability to provide (Buss 1989). It is a common belief that women are biologically wired to seek out aggressive males, however, this is claim is only correlational, not causative; it explains the motivation for a certain action to be associated with the desire of a certain behavior rather than what the desired goal of the seeking might with a set of behaviors, hence the claim cannot be considered fully scientifically valid within context. In terms of means and ends, mate selection all boils down to two things: fertility and ability to survive (Darwin 1871). In humans, the latter means prior mentioned resource acquisition capabilities, ie: 'can this man provide enough to support the family?'
This goes back to the concept of the alpha male. Although the alpha male is typically thought of the male that is most aggressive, its definition is more that of functional behavior, and that function of the alpha is to be the one who can best look after the rest of the group. Keep in mind, that this is not a static characteristic in individuals, but can be more effectively implemented in different skill sets, ie: the doctor can heal the sick and the soldier can protect the group. The aggressive trait commonly associated with alphas is due to a display of primary skill sets, meaning that aggressive behavior is an active assertion of ability. Think of it like the music performer who gains all the attention while the composer gets less.
What this means for nice guys is the fact they they do not display their abilities as much makes them less interesting. It should also be noted, that in regards to confidence, people who are more physically attractive tend to develop more confidence (Campbell 1986), hence many nice guys may not be as physically attractive, further lending to their disposition in female attraction.
In terms of what qualifies a man for ability to gather resource, social hierarchies also play a huge role in people's perceptions of what indicates success. Although we naturally create hierarchies of every entity, the qualifications for status in those hierarchies is largely socially determined. A man who expresses himself as emotional and smitten over a woman may come across as looking pathetic and vulnerable, while the jerk who acts dismissively may come across as one who does not need the woman, giving the implication that he could be with other women should he desire. Something to note, however, is that, in modern society, men having more sexual partners is not a significant factor in attraction (Herold 1999).
Let's not also neglect the gender roles associated with women. Although, in western society, women, minus their gender constructs, are just as able to satisfy most occupations (however, men do have better spacial awareness and upper body strength, but women have better ability to assess the emotional state of others from a more active facial recognition system in the brain [citation needed, but I guarantee is true]). So, western society is still implementing these gender roles despite lack of potential, increased, befit from resource gathering females. If this were not the case, then certain roles might be reversed, like males seeking out the alpha female who can best provide for the family. From a utilitarian perspective, however, the male and the female in a relationship would both act as alphas in contexts which best utilize the skills of both, thus maximizing resource acquisition on both ends.
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TL;DR/ in conclusion: yes, females are inherently attracted to the alpha male, but the alpha male is the one who can best provide, not the most disrespectful.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Darrin Scott on -
Crap. I just went back and re-read your original comment. I must have glanced over it *very* quickly because I misread the first words as "female alphas" instead of "false alphas". Well, that's your explanation why I jumped to conclusions, I'll have to be more careful next time I read through the replies.
And I'm a third year. This is for my evolutionary psychology class, so citation of those particular other fields is actually expected. Also note that its just a summary of my outline I made to share with people outside the class. The full thing we be expanded to include things like explanations of how each of the studies cited worked, and all the other stuff you have to do in a meta-analysis rather than an essay.
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Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on -
Thank you for reminding me why I previously ceased to visit these forums.
Well...
Bye.
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Permalink Reply by Shane on -
Did your research take you into the tendency of females (even in modern human societies) seeking out Alphas for mates, but Betas for caretakers?
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Permalink Reply by Darrin Scott on
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No, but it doesn't really change my argument.
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Permalink Reply by Darrin Scott on
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I'm not denying that claim, but that doesn't contradict my argument, I am agreeing that the alpha, the one who can gather the most resources, is the most attractive to the females.
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Permalink Reply by Shane on
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I'm not denying that claim, but that doesn't contradict my argument, I am agreeing that the alpha, the one who can gather the most resources, is the most attractive to the females.
It would change your thesis from, "Is it true?" to, "Why does it appear to be true?" It would add completeness and depth to your third paragraph, which contradicts itself on the face. It would then spin the rest of your essay, providing a broader understanding of the topics at hand, by removing your own bias and forced definitions. Finally it would change your conclusion from an either/or proposition to a non-zero sum game.
Just did a search for the research. Didn't come up with anything to support your claim. Perhaps a link to the research you are citing might validate it.
I'm on a locked down network, so it's difficult finding anything to do with sex, but you need to get outside psychology, and since you already invoked Darwin, that's ok. Some starts with anthropology and genetics:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/07/27/ryan.promiscuity.normal/index...
http://www.childsupportanalysis.co.uk/analysis_and_opinion/choices_...
Look up:
nonpaternity
polyamorous promiscuity
biological imperatives
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Permalink Reply by Scott Omega on -
its a well known fact: women love *ssholes. Its because women feel they don't deserve better.
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Permalink Reply by Shane on
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Also note that its just a summary of my outline I made to share with people outside the class. The full thing we be expanded to include things like explanations of how each of the studies cited worked, and all the other stuff you have to do in a meta-analysis rather than an essay.
Well, that explains why I thought you were first year.
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Permalink Reply by Oddball on -
Anyone who feels the need to market himself as an alpha male is obviously insecure.
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