The Situation: I've been "kickin' it" with this girl for a few months and I like her. I'm almost 21 and she's 24. We met at our University back in early November. I'm a commuter and she lives on campus, but due to scheduling conflicts, we don't get to see each other every week. On the other hand, we do keep in touch every other day through texts. We've hung out here and there since November, but haven't had a chance for a real date. I haven't seen her since our little IHOP rendezvous about 3 weeks ago. I have a medium inclination that she likes me, but you all know how signals can be mixed sometimes.
The Plan: I plan to see her sometime next week and that's when I plan to ask her on real date. I'm simply going to ask her to be my Valentine. Since we are not dating, I want keep this really simple and just do dinner and a movie. No gifts or flowers. I don't want to come off as overbearing or pushy. My cash flow is slow at the moment, so I wanna keep costs down. In the midst of conversation, she told me she has never been to The Cheesecake Factory, so I was thinking of taking her there. I don't consider that place expensive like people make it out to be. And since I used to work at the movie theater, management/old-coworkers always let me and my guests in free. I just have to pay for concession. We already have plans to attend an event together at the end of February, but I want to make this V-day happen to break some ice...assuming everything flows.
Any suggestions or comments on something I could do better??
Anything I'm forgetting??
Thanks for letting me know!
Let's see if this works, sorry I couldn't find an easy way to edit my old post
Yep, got it that time. Thanks!
i'll throw in my .02.
v-day is a pressure packed and very busy day to try to create a new relationship. when you're first trying to connect with someone i recommend a lot of face to face time and less phone/text time. i'm not really that old, but the sheer number of texts that can be sent between two people can make it hard to find good topics for real conversations and lead to a sort of lack of discovery. plus odds are you will be misunderstood more than once leading to awkward "i wonder what she meant" or "why isn't she texting back, i better text her again."
i know it's winter, but walking is some of the most personal and romantic times i think you can have. i can't tell you how many long walks i took around campus with my now-wife at night, just wandering around. i remember in the winter sitting outside her dorm on a bench with her sharing an earbud listening to music for a couple hours, sharing songs we both liked or talking about what certain songs meant to us or how they reminded us of something in our lives.
you just can't do that in a packed movie theater or crowded restaurant. not to mention you're not getting any bang for your buck paying cheesecake factory prices, and that's if you can get a table. do something different, ice skating was a great idea. affordable, more unique (although it will still be packed), and an excuse for physical contact.
i just feel like dinner and a movie on valentine's day is just meeting the status quo. you have the opportunity to really wow her by being different and adventurous.
that being said, do not forget at least one flower. flowers are the bees knees to women. i had a girl who was interested in me so i bought a big bundle of white flowers and kept them at work. the first date i gave her one, second two, third three, etc. until they were all gone. it's been ~10 years since our first date and when i saw her recently she told me she still had that first flower.
hopefully you've skipped my nostalgia and are down to my recommendation:
ask her out
take her somewhere private where you can talk like a walk or ice skating
bring a flower, chocolate, and even one of those cheesy kid's valentine's cards
text less, talk in person more. it makes your conversations count and prevents you from becoming a faceless text buddy.