The Situation: I've been "kickin' it" with this girl for a few months and I like her. I'm almost 21 and she's 24. We met at our University back in early November. I'm a commuter and she lives on campus, but due to scheduling conflicts, we don't get to see each other every week. On the other hand, we do keep in touch every other day through texts. We've hung out here and there since November, but haven't had a chance for a real date. I haven't seen her since our little IHOP rendezvous about 3 weeks ago. I have a medium inclination that she likes me, but you all know how signals can be mixed sometimes.
The Plan: I plan to see her sometime next week and that's when I plan to ask her on real date. I'm simply going to ask her to be my Valentine. Since we are not dating, I want keep this really simple and just do dinner and a movie. No gifts or flowers. I don't want to come off as overbearing or pushy. My cash flow is slow at the moment, so I wanna keep costs down. In the midst of conversation, she told me she has never been to The Cheesecake Factory, so I was thinking of taking her there. I don't consider that place expensive like people make it out to be. And since I used to work at the movie theater, management/old-coworkers always let me and my guests in free. I just have to pay for concession. We already have plans to attend an event together at the end of February, but I want to make this V-day happen to break some ice...assuming everything flows.
Any suggestions or comments on something I could do better??
Anything I'm forgetting??
Is she fully aware of your intentions?
If you plan something for Valentine's Day, you really need to respect the traditional, some candy, flowers, and the Valentine's Card are requirements.
You gotta dare on that day. Worst case scnario, you find out you're here "friend." At which point, you have to mov on, romantically speaking.
If I did all of that stuff, then I wouldn't be doing anything different from what a BOYFRIEND would do. And that would hurt my wallet too.
To be blunt. You're planning a DATE on a traditionallly romatic couples' night out. Anything on Valentines Day where the guy does the planning and the inviting of one gal is acting like a BOYFRIEND. If that's not what you want, send her a card and forget going out with her on Valentines Day.
It sounds pretty solid to me. One thing though: try the movie before dinner, not after. You don't want to end the date in a setting where you're not talking to each other. Also, going to dinner *after* the movie gives you guys something to talk about, and it's probably lighter on your wallet because you're not spending the money on concessions (not as much anyway).
I question the etiquette of getting in somewhere for free in situations like this. I personally would be uncomfortable (or at the least skeptical) of it- I wouldn't want my date thinking I'm a cheapskate because I'm utilizing connections to get us in somewhere for free. Of course, if we had been dating for a while I wouldn't hesitate (girls get expensive!). But in such an early stage, in make-or-break time, I would be skeptical of utilizing connections to get in for free. You want to show your date that she's worth it, and paying full price for admission is a good sign. Just my two cents though. What does everyone else think?
Ya know, I considered that. But oddly enough, this girl is very frugal and I don't think she would mind. She is literally always talking about how broke she is.
A) You are in your 20's, please don't do a "be my valentine thing". Just ask her out already
B) Dinner and a movie is a horrible, horrible first date. And to be honest, there is nothing romantic or involved about a Cheesecake Factory, and the movie idea which is bad enough for a first date, is even worse when you are doing the equivelant of using coupons to get in.
C) Find a couple joint things that you both like to do. Things that are going to force you to talk together, as well as have you both very open for plenty of physical contact, as well as leave openings in case she decides that you aren't the one for her and lets her bail. Local musuem, a park, ice cream, putt putt even, just not a movie. Leave a movie to after you have been dating awhile.
Alright, I'll rethink the movies then...
It's winter. Try ice skating. Girls love it and it can be a cute outing if one of you turns out to be bad at it.
You don't have to wait until Valentine. Do it tomorrow. And do it again on Valentine.
Yeah, I'd keep it fairly casual...and FYI...restaurants are extremely packed on V-Day...and Cheesecake Factory I'm sure would be quite a wait...so make reservations as soon as you can. Just know that V-Day is a heavy couples thing...so it might create some awkward pressure if you haven't made your intentions known clearly...as you will be surrounded by people cooing and snuggling and all the waitstaff will assume you're going steady. I like the idea the previous gentleman had said before by going on an earlier day to communicate your intentions and asking her out for a second date on V-Day...and then you can do it up like a Sir.
I would tend to agree with most of what has been said before by the other guys here. Typically I wouldn't personally suggest going to a movie for a first date idea, however it seems like you already know her a fair bit so it might feel like not such a bad idea in your situation. If you do decide to go with a movie then follow D.J.'s advice and see it first so it can help break the ice if there is any tension between you two.
With doing it on V-day it does imply a lot more effort and pressure on the date and the prices of almost everything does get jacked up just for this one special day. If money really is a concern for you then do your date on another day so that with the amount you do have you can treat her a bit more.
Girls like to be treated well and part of that is to feel spoilt. This usually means sparing no expense especially if you want to one day marry this girl then she needs to know how special she is to you. If you really still don't want to spoil her with flowers or a gift as a token of your affection for whatever reason then I want to show you how you can make her a Napkin Rose for her while you are at dinner with her.
Good luck and most of all have fun mate!
Thanks for the referral. I did want to point out that your napkin rose link doesn't work.