Evening gentlemen! 

I'm a 33 year old guy who has always had a very high sex drive. I mean VERY high sex drive. Met the girl of my dreams a year ago and moved in with her and the last few months... poof, it's gone.

All of a sudden I would rather watch tv than have sex. Or do ANYTHING else but have sex. I even made some bs excuse earlier today about having an upset stomach when she was trying to pull me into the bedroom. 

The thing is my girlfriend is absolutely smoking hot. I'm completely in love with her and am thinking about asking her to marry me. She's really awesome

I don't know what happened but all of a sudden I just have no desire to climb into bed with her. I feel like one of those women that guys write books about. I feel all awkward and even a little angry when she asks to have sex. Most nights I usually cave in and go through with it but it's not good sex because I feel like I'm on autopilot.

I don't even know how to sit her down and talk with her about it. How do you tell the woman of your dreams you don't want to have sex and don't have a reason to explain it? How do you recover a relationship after that talk?!

I really need some advice before this relationship implodes!

Thanks Gents

Views: 443

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Evening Gentlemen!

Thank you for all of your insights and advice. First off, I have booked a doctor appointment to get my levels checked. Go figure it will be almost 3 weeks before I can get into the doctor.

To answer some of the questions. I have experienced a huge drop in energy, desire to work out, and I'm just tired. I hadn't really put it together because I went from living in a shitty apartment, where I did anything to get out of that place... to a really nice house, where it's a pleasure to stay home.

There's been no change in my relationship. I am very attracted to my girlfriend, mentally, physically, even spiritually. She swears up and down she loves me. We never fight, the occasional argument but it's the usual "empty the dishwasher" stuff. She's really easy to live with and I'm shocked as how easy it is to live with her. Sure there's some transition stuff from living alone but it's 98% easy... 2% change the empty Toilet Paper roll!

No ED, but I have seen a general decrease. Less desire to watch porn or take care of things myself (figured it was cause I had a woman right there)

I can't figure it out. But she is definitely starting to notice and it's one of those "I'm stressing about it now and I know I need to relax but now I'm nervous and so now I can't stop thinking about it which makes it worse and...repeat"

Thank you gentlemen for everything!

Best of luck, Diesel. We're rooting for you, man.

Still sounds like a testosterone deficiency, to me.  Low energy.  Fatigue.  Low sex drive.  Low general drive.  It's normal for your sex drive to wane a bit as you get older ... but having it flatline quickly is not normal.

There are things you can do to naturally rebound your testosterone level ... but, I wouldn't do it until I got tested.  Don't want to artificially mask the diagnosis



Are you sure you want to be with her? You're in your 30s, you've been living with her for possibly a year, and yet are still just thinking you may want to marry her.

Maybe you are better at lying to yourself than your penis is?

So you're not wanting sex with just her, or women in general? I'm assuming your weiner gets hard if you're having sex with her, no? It's seems strange if you're able to get aroused but have no sex drive.  I have the opposite problem.  I want to plow my lady, but my weiner won't get/stay hard. it's the worst.

First of all, you must give up all bad habits, try aphrodisiacs, role-playing games, porn movies, and if nothing helps, you need to see a doctor

For the huge drop in energy and being tired all the time you need a check up.
For the sexual desire, man, you are way overthinking this and it's making a minor a major in my opinion. Sex is a primal thing, it's not meant to be overthought. It's a mistake many men make when it comes to sex. Sex is about enjoying being a man, and the more masculine you feel and the less concerned about your performance you are - the more often it will come to you and the better it will be. It really is about going with the flow. It's also about confidence. We guys have this gift through nature I believe to be confident no matter what if we will embrace it- confident no matter our looks, size, etc. how do you think of yourself? You may need to give yourself a pep talk or two. I'm a married guy and when I embraced what I'm telling you it changed everything. Back in the day married men were very "loose" with their wives- meaning very "I don't give a crap sexual". I fear that we have taken some of the pressure women have put in themselves in society and society has put on women and applied them to us, and now we are paying some penalties.
Get your t levels checked
Low test will cause you to feel like that
But you can boost it naturally
AOM has some great articles on how to do so


Latest Activity

Shane replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"I was a subsistence hunter for most of my adult life. I highly recommend putting yourself at the top of the food chain. Even if you're a vegetarian. You should know the work that goes into keeping you alive for a year."
1 hour ago
Pale Horse replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"I don't see how any Judeo-Christian or Darwinist could feel uncomfortable with eating meat. For each it's just a natural part of the ecosystem."
1 hour ago
Jack Bauer replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Maybe it's just me ... but describing carnivorism as "eating flesh cut from corpses of conquered lower life-forms" still wouldn't strike me as at all horrific.  Just the reality of life.  Some life -- maybe even most --…"
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Braeden 2.0's discussion The Horror of Day to Day Life
"Y'all are pussies. You're supposed to grow out of that kind of squeamishness before puberty. And here I thought I'd found a thread on the horror of mundanity."
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Lumberjoe's discussion Some People Dislike The New LGBTQ(etc.) Pride Flag Because Racism in the group The Great Debate
"I generally divide political factions into four groups, simply because most people fall into one of these four groups whether they think they do or not. First and second are low-itelligence left and right. Both are vulgar followers who think…"
2 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Cody "Rooster" McDonnell's discussion Sailing Crew Needed
"If I were naive and carefree I'd pack my bag right now. Sounds like a blast. Godspeed."
3 hours ago
Shane replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"@Jay What makes you think I'm going to go point by point to debunk your bullshit when you don't actually care? BTW, just glancing at it, the third on the list is bullshit too. @Dom He didn't say yes. He said, "ummm. I guess…"
6 hours ago
Shane replied to John Muir's discussion Donald Trump Is A Greedy, Creepy, Ignorant Jerk in the group The Great Debate
"Oh shit never mind. Guess I've been busier than I thought."
6 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service