This is the continuous cycle of my love life...
Get a girl's number, go on a simple date, date goes well, then awkward texting, she gets shady, I get angry, we stop talking and probably dont get along anymore after that.
I've gotten better at containing my frustrations about simple stuff such as "not texting back", but this cycle is getting annoying.
INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
I have reached the point of insanity.
I'd just cut down on the awkward texting, at least until after a few more dates. Just tell the lady you don't really text much. Have her call you instead. It won't hurt anything to reserve communication for face-to-face interaction when you're just beginning to know a person. Plus, it makes the other person more interesting due to the lack of constant communication.
I ran into the same problem quite a bit before I met my long-time girlfriend. The girl and I would meet, get along, and then talk constantly via text. The next date came around, and there was really nothing to talk about. We figured out we weren't all that compatible or she would get bored with me, and then she'd just stop picking up the phone or answering texts. It took me a while to figure out that a person who just stops communicating with you instead of simply saying they're not interested is not a person you want around.
Best of luck.
At least you're getting the number and the date.
Stop getting angry when it doesn't work out. Just move on. Dating is trial-and-error until you find the right broad. No use getting angry at the errors.
And, lose the texting. You don't know these chicks well enough to communicate by text yet.
you know what? next time on the first date, tell her: this is my problem etc.... can we manage to get by it?
or something like that
My friend, that is dating.
Minimize the texting, pick up the phone and call her for a second date. Keep that a simple affair.
Things usually don't get comfortable till after 3 or 4 dates.
Stop texting. You miss too much of communication that way- something like 80% of communication is non-verbal- posture, gestures, eye contact, etc.
Texting is great for sending short messages. It is not a replacement for a conversation.
Then date her in a different pattern. Enjoy the date. Schedule the next, date etc.
When she texts, tell her you can't wait to hear her voice and texting is not a good enough replacement and ask her to call instead.
The written word can be misinterpreted, less so with the spoken word. So take texting out of the equation, and tell her.
Problem solved. Rather then constant communication, go old school and enjoy only the time you have with her, be it in person or by conversation, not by instant telegram.
You should see a gynecologist for that. Could be ovarian cancer. [sorry]
The women's magazines are split between "He actually called! What a gentleman!" and [for under-30s] "Phone calls are such an annoyance. Why doesn't he text like everyone else?" [direct paraphrase from a recent issue of Marie Claire] I don't cite the women's magazines as normative authorities, but as possibly descriptive. You can't go very wrong with doing what everyone else does.
How/why does the texting get awkward. "I had a really good time last night." "Me too." "[follow-up on something she mentioned, like] I hope your work presentation went well. I'm sure you nailed it." "Thanks." "I'd like to see you again soon." "Me too." "Should we arrange this here, or will you call me?"
Your problem, I think, is you do too many follow-up texts, instead of just scheduling the second date. IMO, you schedule the second date, say "See you then," and you don't need to communicate again until you perhaps send and "I'm on my way" text.
But, I don't have a texting plan. I also hate the phone. I still schedule dates with my fiance by e-mail.
Desperation is a stinky cologne--make your life about something other than women. The guys who get called back are the ones who wouldn't care much if they didn't.
Hey O'Neil - fortunately for you, you're not the first guy to ever have this issue, and there's a solution (but it's not easy.)
A few things:
That's the theoretical stuff. The practical advice is - join a gym, get some friends, find a fun hobby, and enjoy your life being you. You'll never make a girl happy until you are happy yourself. Besides - if women are making you this unhappy right now, why waste time on them?? Do something good for yourself, and the rest will fall naturally (along with the notes mentioned above.)
Feel free to send me a message off-line for a more "personalized" action plan for you, or tips as you start your next relationship.
PS - I took up sailing. Not only a manly endeavor that I now really enjoy anyways, but when I did meet women, it made for a great "fun" date that most guys couldn't do and sets you apart from the crowd. Not sure if that's an option for you geographically.
Man, there has been some really good advice given here.
I hope you give it due consideration...
Stop texting. It's childish and sophomoric.
And have a reason for calling.
Like, asking for the second date, for example.