Along with my buddy , Who is about to join Indian Army ..
We wrote this list " Must for all the gentlemen" !
I would Like to share it with you guys and Request a Honest Feedback ..
Plus tell me what more I can add ?
Here it is ...
Though I agree with most of the bullet points, they're certainly not requirements for being a "gentleman".
Caveat: Depends on how you define "gentleman". Around here on AoM, there tends to be a very liberal attempt to take a no judgement, lets-not-offend-anyone-lets-be-delicate-with-their-feelings approach to defining masculinity and being a gentleman that generally pivots off of some pliable, malleable esoteric concept.
Measurable, definable, applicable definitions are usually shunned as being mean, superficial or judgmental. Sometimes rightly so, but not always.
I don't get that impression at all. I've been offended a good number of times here at AoM. Seems to me that there are some people here who just don't give a damn about others and their feelings. Not like that's a bad thing, but it's just an observation I've made.
As far as the definition of "gentleman" goes on AoM, it seems conservative to me. By that, I mean that it looks to me like a lot of men here believe in gender roles, at least to a limited degree, and believe in doing the "gentlemanly" thing based on those roles. Same thing with dress, as well: a lot of men ask for dress advice here and it's always about traditional or function/stylish dress.
AoM definitely seems conservative to me, though it does have a share of liberal members.
I don't Understand !!
I am sorry if my post offended you in anyway...
and as far as few things in the list , they straight away come from Army culture !
as My buddy is taught in "National defence Academy" !
You're good haha. I was responding to Mike.
@Michael D. Denny
Thanks for the Honest and True Feedback .
I agree with you , but me and my buddy tries to make a general List about the Things that a Man should carry with and on him .. ! But yes , everyone has there own views about it and we all should respect it and Understand it .
Measurable, Michael? Like, quantifiable? What would we measure?
Frequency of conformity and performance.
To be honest such lists are hard to develop and this is clearly a first pass, but for me being a gentlemen is an internal guide that shows externally. Not a set of external check off points.
This list is focused almost exclusively on externals and peripherals. You do not include anything related to Etiquette. Other then be good to the ladies and don’t start a fight. What of such skills as cooking, entertaining & letter writing. Perhaps even a sense of one’s own style?
“Must be Good to the Ladies”. Is poorly worded I don’t think you mean by your list I can be an ASS to all the males? I think one should be well mannered Gentleman to all in your interactions regardless of status differences or your opinion of them personal. Choose not to interact with those you don’t like but know how to interact in polite company and interact in that way.
As to the Peripherals
A good Cellphone is required to be a Gentlemen? WHY? Is this a mark of income status?
A metal banded watch is required? That makes no sense to me. I have multiple bands for my watch so that it can match the color of my shoes and belt.
A nice Wallet – define “nice”. Again it is an external but why is this critical to being a Gentlemen?
Really a Gentlemen should be able to still be a gentlemen in an ill fitted set of borrowed clothing. According to the thoughts behind this list that is not possible. I think it is.
Thanks for the Feedback , and Yes your point is well taken ...
Then again we all have our own definition of being a Gentleman. That's the point of all the discussion ...
I agree my list is more "External and Peripherals" Focused ...
I think that what you may be going is picturing a gentlemen in your minds eye. One exercise you might try is to picture a French, German, English, American, Ect Gentlemen and figure out what qualities are the bases for externalized trappings.
I agree that we all have our own definition but I think you are trying to build the stereotype or general agreement of what a Gentlemen is from your list. Given this you need to stick to the commonly agreed aspects. If this was not the case then asking for feedback was a backhanded way to advertise your blog and post.
I am trying to collect feedback to Improve my List and Soon , I will Rewrite it ! With more Commonly agreed things ..
Thanks to every one here :)
Okay ! That's Pretty Harsh ...