Hey, me again, this time with another question. Recently, my mother asked me what I was going to wear to baccalaureate. I told her nothing, since as it wasn't a required event, and we weren't Christian, it didn't make sense for us to go. Unfortunately, this started a massive argument, the kind that takes a half an hour and ends with both parties feeling slighted. During the argument, I asked why she thought this was so important, and she replied by saying that everyone expected me to be there, which also confused me, because no one in my family's Christian. Then she claimed that after all the work she put in as a parent, she deserved this. I replied that wanting me to go to important events is fine, but not when its express purpose (in this case, dedicating students to God,) completely clashes with both my and what I assumed was the rest of my family's beliefs. Am I in the right here, or am I just being a jerk?
Thank you, I appreciate that. While we're on the subject of this, any recommendations as to how to apologize to my mother for arguing with her? Two days later I see how ridiculous the whole thing was, and I'd like to apologize. I just worry that it might start the whole thing up again.
No worries. Ain't the first time I've been metaphorically shot at, won't be the last. Heh.
Still, it was out of line of me. Thank you for being understanding.
'It just doesn't seem right, and I can't let it go.' You've answered your own question. Take your mum out somewhere instead and make that the celebration. If your objection is the inconvenience then that's one thing but if you have a real ethical objection that's something else again. You sometimes have to be a jerk.
No, you are completely right. There is no reason for you to be forced to go to such an event.
To answer one early bit of your post, I don't know how it's done any other year, but I do know that this year, a good portion of our fundraising has gone to it, and it's being held in the gym. I wouldn't be so creeped out by the idea of going, as this isn't the first religious ceremony our school has done (we're all Christian, who cares?), but from what I heard about last year's ceremony, one of the preachers was pretty fire and brimstone grim. I'll go, but I'm fairly certain I won't like it, and if my suspicions are correct, won't improve my opinion of my town.
Also, as to another part of your post, I just started violin maybe two months ago. I just learned 'Dixie' and that is a pretty poor rendition. I just don't want to go, I don't want to ruin the ceremony. Making me play would be a hate crime.
I hope you find this article useful.
Personally, I think you need to be upfront and honest about why you choose not to go. Going just to "suck it up and please your mom" is not the right thing to do. Your mom needs to see you as a grown man, not a kid.
I could expand, but I think the article will do a better job at explaining than I could.
I don't think that article is as applicable as you believe it to be.
The OP is a highschooler, still living at home, not someone who has established his own household and turns into a "Momma's boy" every time Mom visits.
I plan on making certain that the umbilical cord is cut once I leave for college, and have been currently being doing as many things as I can on my own, but yeah, since I'm still in high school, there's a whole lot that I just can't do. I could probably pay my own bills, but just barely, and why would I want to move out? My mom and I get along fairly well most days, and I've already paid the housing deposit for my college.
Certainly, no single article will be completely applicable, and even the article itself contains some poorly conceived notions (it assumes a lot about the audience for instance), but the spirit of it is certainly helpful, in my humble opinion.
After reading many "suck it up, do it for your Mom" replies to your conundrum, I thought of sharing another point of view.