"This is a Mars/Venus problem. She wants to "help you" by talking about your feelings. You want to fix the problem. . . your feelings. Her talking with you about your feelings helps her. . . but tortures you and doesn't fix getting…"
More housework = less sex for married men (study says)
More housework, less sex for married men: study
AFP - The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say: the more housework married men do, the less sex they have, according to a new study published Wednesday.
Husbands who spend more time doing traditionally female chores -- such as cooking, cleaning, and shopping -- reported having less sex than those who do more masculine tasks, said the study in the American Sociological Review.
"Our findings suggest the importance of socialized gender roles for sexual frequency in heterosexual marriage," said lead author Sabino Kornrich, of the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid.
"Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently. Similarly, couples in which men participate more in traditionally masculine tasks -- such as yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance -- report higher sexual frequency."
His study, "Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage," looks at straight married couples in the United States, and was based on data from the National Survey of Families and Households.
The study was co-authored by University of Washington sociologist Julie Brines and doctoral candidate Katrina Leupp.
Men in the study reported having had sex an average of 5.2 times in the month prior to the survey, while women reported 5.6.
But both men and women in couples with more traditional household labor divisions said they had more sex.
"The results suggest the existence of a gendered set of sexual scripts, in which the traditional performance and display of gender is important for creation of sexual desire and performance of sexual activity," Kornrich said.
However, the study's authors stop short of arguing that house husbands should hang up their aprons.
"Men who refuse to help around the house could increase conflict in their marriage and lower their wives' marital satisfaction," Kornrich said.
"Earlier research has found that women's marital satisfaction is indeed linked to men's participation in overall household labor, which encompasses tasks traditionally done by both men and women."
http://www.france24.com/en/20130130-more-housework-less-sex-married...
Consider it a public service announcement. Heh.
JB
Tags: cc-your-wife, sex, women
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Paul_of_TX on -
blah .........
blah
..... Madrid.
See there is your problem right there. I'm willing to bet that they also have a study saying that wearing a gallon of Brut cologne will make you irresistible to women (women are stupid, but not as stupid as Mexicans).
One wise man once said
"No good. I've known too many Spaniards."
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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on -
Who's side are you on? Don't undermine your own expert witness.
Never met a Mexican from Madrid.
JB
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Permalink Reply by Paul_of_TX on
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In the past I worked with a Spanish company. I know that doesn't make me an expert and not every single Spaniard is the same. In general they seemed to be chauvinistic and put down Mexicans even more than some of the hill billy red neck types I knew growing up.
I would assume that if you are a butler instead of a husband the wife wouldn't be so attracted to you that just seems like common sense. Because this came from Spain I just referenced my view of Spaniards. I can honestly see them reaching the conclusion that the work is very remedial and should only be performed by inferior women before they even do a study or look at any data.
Another wise man once said
"You'll have to forgive him. He's from Barcelona."
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Permalink Reply by Michael D. Denny on -
"Act like a Man, get treated like one".
If only we'd thought of that sooner.
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Permalink Reply by Erg on -
I wonder if women in marriages where they have more ridged gender roles feel like they aren't allowed to refuse to do "their wifely duties". This would mean more sex, but isn't a desirable outcome.
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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on
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I doubt its quite that simple. My marriage has fairly traditional gender roles ... Rigid? Maybe. Not sure if they're "ridged" (Heh). Never got the feeling she was put-upon.
As to that being an undesirable outcome ... under certain circumstances, that is true. Under most, it probably isn't. I don't see much of a problem with either spouse putting-out when they're initially "not in the mood". More sex is generally good for marital satisfaction for both parties ... and "the mood" usually comes along once you get going anyway. There are exceptions, but probably not as many as you'd think.
JB
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Permalink Reply by Will on -
I'm taking this seriously, but I am not sure it simply means that if you want more sex, leave the dirty dishes in the sink.
It could mean that women who are sick or depressed are less interested in sex but also leave more housework for the men.
It could mean that when there's more housework for both, you're tired or your mind is elsewhere.
It could mean that as you age, sex drops off and you do more housework. I don't believe this, but it could be.
It could mean that when you're energized from sex, you feel better about life and the amount of housework you did doesn't seem so big, so you underreport it (or overreport it when you're less happy).
But there's also something that shows that men who do domestic things like watching the kids have less T, which may mean less sex.
So I don't know. It bears thinking about.
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Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on -
I think T levels have a lot to do with it.
I know my levels have always been around that of a young nun. And I've always done a decent amount of housework, even though our roles are otherwise very traditional.
My earliest memories in kindergarten were playing "house" with the girls while the other boys ran around and did whatever boys do together at that age.
The girls were thrilled they found someone who willingly played the Dad.
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Permalink Reply by Jack Bauer on
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There's probably something to that. Particularly the testosterone-level thing. My guess is its less causation than correllation. The kind of guy that does a lot of housekeeping and childcare may not tend to be the kind of guy with a very high sex drive.
Brett just did a series of articles on raising your testosterone level. Mentioned it to the wife ... said I'd probably take a couple of his suggestions (like bacon and eggs for breakfast, etc.). She said she wasn't sure she could handle my testosterone levels going any higher. I'll give it a shot anyway.
I'm actually not opposed to helping out with the house. I do my share. My share is smaller than hers -- but I'm not as much of a neanderthal as I'd like to think I am. Still ... probably better to make sure you're helping her out with the house, rather than her helping you out with the house.
JB
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Permalink Reply by Davis on -
I ran the "article" by my wife to get her response. Her experience with her first and only husband was quite different from the "study." Shared domestic duties only make her husband sexier and then she's more energized (I couldn't take much more) to jump in the sack with me.
Moreover, I came from a family of six sons. The old mama lion that raised us expected everyone to pull their weight when it came to domestic duties. The outcome was that she raised six future husbands who were prepared for shared family life whether in was working on the car, yard work, house cleaning, changing diapers...plus from my talk with the rest of my brothers...they all had and have healthy sex and satisfying sex. We all are in our 60's and 70's!!
Davis
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Permalink Reply by Rebekah on -
I agree with Will, though I'd say it's not just "sick or depressed" women who leave more housework for men. It's "busy" women.
I wonder how this takes urban lifestyles into account - Households with no yards or cars. I find it hard to believe that men who don't help with housework at all have more sex.
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Permalink Reply by Kraye Grymonnt on -
Correlation does not equal causation.
Love it when "publish or die" creates need for sexy/controversial titles/conclusions.
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