Hey Gentleman, a bit of a sad subject here. One of my coworkers had a child recently (named him Hudson Hawk, how legit is that), a baby boy and after being home for a couple of weeks the baby died of SIDS. I am going to the visitation tomorrow and would like to give something to the father, any ideas outside of the usual flowers and such. 

Thank you sirs. 

Views: 196

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

A hug.

True that

Nothing is more painful to a parent than the death of their child. Nothing. I have served in the Army for many decades and intimately know death from long, painful experience. The only thing you can do is offer condolences (sympathy) for their loss and mourn silently with them. Be fully present with them in their time of unimaginable grief – no chatting, joking, checking your watch, texting, answering your cell phone (leave the damned cell phone in the car!), or averting yourself in any way from their anguish. At most you might offer something like “Please let me know if I can do anything for you”, but say absolutely nothing else. Above all, do not attempt to philosophize about the greater meaning of death, life, or healing. Many jerks have done that during the innumerable funerals I’ve attended over the years and I can assure you such ignorance of human suffering is not quickly forgiven. This time of mourning is for THEM, not you, so all you can or should do is silently and respectfully mourn with them.

Nursery, man that is a cool idea. Thanks for that. 

"I'm terribly sorry."  There's nothing better that can be said.

What to give?  I don't know.  I can't think of anything relevant.

I agree about the hug and the silent presence.  A quote from Allan Quatermain, when his two friends come to visit after the death of Quatermain's son:

"All this while Curtis and Good had been silent, feeling, I suppose, that they had nothing to say
that could do me any good, and content to give me the comfort of their presence and
unspoken sympathy; for it was only their second visit since the funeral.
And it is, by the way, from the presence of others that we really derive support in our dark
hours of grief, and not from their talk, which often only serves to irritate us.
Before a bad storm the game always herd together, but they cease their calling."

RSS

Latest Activity

Gordon Bomar replied to Shannon N. Clark's discussion Family Problem...
"Hi Shannon,  Do you have an "Update " for us? How is everything working out with your Step-Father?"
4 hours ago
Shannon N. Clark replied to Sir's discussion What college freshmen should know
"A sort of current issues class would be good. Something important that generations are losing is their interest in what is happening around them and understanding what they can do about it. Something else could be useful would be a life lessons…"
5 hours ago
Dominic replied to floyd james's discussion What has happened to masculinity
"  Debatable."
7 hours ago
John Muir replied to Sir's discussion How far apart we are in the group The Great Debate
"I like the lyrics to this Irish song, regarding patriotism. The title to Tom Clancy's book "Patriot Games" is borrowed from the lyrics. Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing, For the love of one's country is a…"
10 hours ago
John Muir replied to Sir's discussion How far apart we are in the group The Great Debate
" Actually, I know all too much. It's mostly a vice rather than a virtue.  "
10 hours ago
Sir replied to Sir's discussion How far apart we are in the group The Great Debate
"Oh, hell, just when making nice seemed possible. We don't insult each other's patriotism here.  Attack the position, not the man."
11 hours ago
Aaron F Kendrick replied to Sir's discussion How far apart we are in the group The Great Debate
"Then, I perceive you know nothing of patriotism, and it's no surprise given the philosophical bend of the country as a whole.  Patriotism has NOTHING to do whatsoever with the government, but to the principles of the country as…"
11 hours ago
Sir added a discussion to the group The Great Debate
Thumbnail

Another brick in the wall

The proposed wall with Mexico.  Or Turkey's wall with Syria.  Or Saudi's wall with Iraq.  Clinton's link:  http://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2016/09/on-the-border/502277/?utm_...My earlier link: http://ijr.com/2015/01/233628-saudi-arabia-anti-isis-wall/Keep it civil.…See More
11 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service