I know a lot of guys on AoM had either a bad or no relationship with their dads. I was one of the fortunate ones. My dad is a hard worker, in a long line of hard workers.
I've been taking an inventory of all the things he taught me as a kid and came up with this abridged list:
1. Saturday mornings are for doing chores. You can hang out with your friends in the afternoon but Saturday morning we work together around the house.
2. You learn by doing and you learn the right way of doing a thing by doing it right. When you paint, you hold the brush THIS way because it's the right way.
3. Keep your tools in good, serviceable condition. A place for everything and everything in it's place. (As an aircraft mechanic, he had tons of tools and could put his hand on any one of them at a moment's notice.)
4. If you have nothing else to do, you can always clean. Whether it was raking the yard or scrubbing floors with a G.I. brush, he knew how to stay busy. Don't stand there - find something you can do.
5. Always be prepared to help others. I can't tell how many times he stopped to help a lady change a tire. Sometimes he was on the way to a speaking engagement and could have sluffed it off but he'd pull his overalls out of the trunk of his car and get busy.
What did you learn from your dad or what do you think is important for us to teach to the generation that we're responsible for mentoring (either kids or other family members)?
I had a great relationship with my Dad, He was a great guy.
Eat well, work well.
If a jobs worth doing, its worth doing well.
Always be in control of yourself.
Always be prepared to do anything, really anything, cos everything haas to be done.
Sounds like you have an awesome dad, Myles. I've been fortunate to have a similar experience.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned from my dad (and my grandpa, who taught him) is that, at the end of the day, a man's name is all he's got. You don't lie, and you don't cheat people; your word should be as good as gold without any need for a guarantee.
He's also always ready to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs it. My siblings and I have called him a sucker many times in the past after he's gone out on a limb to help someone who was clearly taking advantage of him, but he never cared. As he sees it, his job is to help people, not judge their intentions. He truly looks to others first and himself last, something that I have yet to totally learn from him.
I've always loved and respected my dad. As a kid, I always had the impression that he was superhuman, practically perfect. As I've grown, I've come to see the cracks and setbacks that make him human, but that only makes me respect him more. He faces the same challenges other men do all day long, but somehow he rises above the easy road to be a better man. God help me to follow in his footsteps.
Both of those are amazing lessons, every father should teach their son something similar. And thankfully, mine has.
My father taught me to always have a reason for doing something, be it work or school. Study hard so you can one day do what you love, and work hard to provide for your family. The latter, my father does very well and I hope that I can one day provide for and teach my children as well as he has me.
My father has taught me that life isn't pretty, it's not a movie, and it probably won't go your way, and it'll stay lousy until you get off your ass and make something of yourself.
He lost his job after 9/11. He is a pilot and had been flying for 15 years. When he lost his job, he had an two children and a wife to feed, a luxurious house that now he couldn't pay for, and his side of the family started excommunicating family members. I'm surprised he didn't verge on suicide, because I see that as hitting rock bottom. He's a family man, I don't think much more could bother him than his family fighting and having no apparent way to feed his kids.
He didn't whine a minute. He called his friends, asked for help, and sold mortgages until one of his best friends offered him a flying job. Now he's a Check Airmen, has been offered multiple times to be a Fleet Captain at his new flying job, and is making four times more what he ever did.
Yeah, he spent a lot of time from home, worked for days on end with no sleep, and had to work a job he knew nothing about for a while, but he got himself back on top and then some. Only until recently have I realized how hard he worked.
Doing nothing is the worst thing you could ever do , I'm honored to be his son.
My dad and I jsut started to get a good father-son realtionship back in order but my grandfather taught me many lessons here are a few
1. I don't give a no s**t and I don't take a no s**T
2. work continueously and trust only yourself in that
3. always protect your family no matter what
4.when struck first strike harder
5. follow what you believe
gotta love him cause he always would take care of me in palce of my folks
The best part about me being an adult is my dad and I get to really relax and enjoy each others company. It has opened an entire knew drawer to our relationship. Along the way he taught me some very serious lessons. I'll add the funny ones in with the serious lessons.
1. Stay close to God, Family, and Country: My dad is by far the deepest and most loving man I have ever met
2. Doing it right means doing it once.
3. Taking your time saves you long term time.
4. Help others because you want to, and not because you have to. As soon as it becomes work you lose the joy of helping.
5. Take care of your belongings. Clothes, Car, shoes, tools, house, body. He has things that are 50 years old that look great.
Now the fun ones.
1. Never date a woman in A.A.
2. If you're going to get hurt, get hurt with Mom, b/c Dad will understand and Mom wont.
3. Kick but for baby Jesus
4. If you can't have fun in church you can't have fun anywhere. We're Catholic...we used to get some looks.
Lots of great lessons here, many of which my dad also taught me. One thing my dad taught me that I don't see mentioned here is this:
If you agree to meet someone somewhere, whether for business or for socializing, always show up, and always show up *on time*.
Of course this is a part of being a man of your word, but it's a specific aspect that he emphasized all his life. He was a builder/contractor who owned his own company. Practically from the day he opened the doors he had more business than he could take on, and he always attributed it to the fact that he was one of the only contractors in town who people could count on to show up when he said he would.
Now, as an adult, in my book being late (or worse, a no-show) shows the ultimate disregard for the other person. It says to them "my time is more valuable than yours." And in reverse, that's exactly how I take it when someone else is late to meet me.
"We've had good success with the handle up for the silverware.
I've also done the separation of the different utensils into different baskets but gave that up as everyone else likes to throw them in willy-nilly. "
"Although I suppose you can get your news from anything, this graph conflates news shows with opinion shows. If you remove things marketed as opinion or as ideologically based and keep those marketed as straight news sources, here's your…"
"I've forgotten in my last response, the importance of the reuniting NOT being on her terms. If you give her the choice as to whether you two get back together, you're automatically surrendering all power in the relationship over to her.…"