I have a 15 year old boy. The experience of raising him is teaching me what it means to be a man and also has uncovered the man I always wanted to be. It has also shown me my male shortcomings. It has forced me to change these.
What lessons are you or have you learned from raising a boy?
* I absolutely cannot control the uncontrollable. Best to accept what God has for me instead of stewing over worries of baby's health and future.
* I can accept and know my limits. When I can't stand another minute of him screaming, I can put him in the den where he plays and let him scream. (I hope I can be there for him more in such times, but for now, I have limits.)
I have had to learn that they are not me. No matter how much I want them to do the things that I missed out on as a child, they have to find their own way. I have also learned that if watch close enough, they are each exactly like me, it just may be different sides of me. I have 4 boys, so I get to see a lot.
I have learned that it is a good idea to give your son a quick lesson in peeing outdoors. I always though that is was just something that all boys knew how to do, but apparently some just don't get it, so getting them out there when they are young is going to help them later.
I relearned how great it is to spit cherry pits and watermelon seeds.
Mostly I have let my children teach me patience, not to take myself to seriously, and how to have fun again.
We live in a subdivision, and when my youngest son was about 8, I looked out the window to see him standing on the trampoline seeing how far he could make his pee go....in full view of all the neighbors. :-)
I've learned that I'm not as patient as I thought I was. I would not say that I'm a guy with a temper, but I can easily fly off the handle with my kids. In turn this has taught me a lot about responsibility and forgiveness. I have to take responsibility for my emotions and actions. If I lose it I have to apologize and my kids are quick to forgive.
I agree on this one. Even a simple task like brushing one's teeth can turn into a half hour affair when it's a six-year old boy in no particular hurry to go to bed. Engaging in effective management w/o ruling with an iron fist (Or worse being a nag) is an art form.
I've got an 8 month old son, and I've learned the hard way that what goes in must come out...usually smelling a lot worse :) I'm sure there will be plenty of interesting lessons over the next 80 years or so!
My oldest just turned 20. I have learned a lot about the both of us. One thing I've had to accept is that he's going to go his own way. He was a great student up until his sr year and just lost interest in school. Now he works full time, and although I wanted him to get a degree I have always said to him you can be a happy, productive member of society if you want to be without one. And it looks like he listened to me.
My son is 11 and I am still in the process of teaching him (and probably will until he is old and grey).So far it is showing what is important to me. Love of the outdoors, how to treat other people, never ever strike a woman (even his sister), among other things. All I can hope for is to instill values and respect in him hope that it will be enough to get him through the difficult things. Most importantly that my wife and I will always be there for him.
"I think you would be interested interested in the writings of Jack Donovan. He explores tribalism in The Way of Men, but he as also written a number of articles with a tribalist mindset.
It is an interesting question.
Recently a man of my church, one of the teachers of sunday school, get divorced, his ex-wife wasn't Christian. Then he was telling us not to marry a non-Christian. And then he asked us "Who are…"