I'd like to think of myself as a gentleman and I often end up acting more like a male, but at the same time I'm very happy/comfortable being a female.
In your opinion, can a woman consider herself a gentleman? Can she follow the guidelines of what it is to be a gentleman?
What exactly do you think? Yay or nay for the lady-gentlemen, and why exactly?
By 'gentleman' I'm referring to the behavior, as in being polite and your mannerisms and such. Not so much what's in your pants, even though gentlemen happens to be a male pronoun.
And typically women who call themselves ladies are usually preppy and girly, I wouldn't say I'm extremely masculine but I'm certainly not girly.
This isn't about whatever gender I identify as, more so the general idea of women behaving as gentlemen.
Either way, your comments aren't providing much to the discussion. Ken was being a bit harsh, but, regardless of whether you though it to be so, your comment was inflammatory. And rather childish. Stirring up angry responses won't do anything towards promoting an intelligent and edifying conversation.
When I need your advice on what/when or how to post I'll be sure to ask you for it.
Then what's the point in explaining it to you if your mind is already made? Why even bother asking the question if, ultimately, it doesn't matter to you and you're going to go on believing what you want? Why not just go on with your life and bypass these discussions?
I'm simply confused, and hoping for some insight into the reasoning behind the OP and some of the other posts.
I gave it to you; gender and sex are specific technical terms used by different fields of study to designate different concepts.
The OP thinks, reasonably if not correctly IMO, that the word for her acting politely and with manners has connotations she doesn't like. She thinks it means "frilly" and "WASPy" in addition to just a female acting politely and with manners. To avoid those connotations, she wants to use "gentlemanly." For reasons people are explaining, "gentlemanly" still doesn't fit the bill. If OP's perception of the connotations is right, there isn't actually a female equivalent for "gentlemanly."
Is she right? It depends on lots of things likely too subtle to be discussed well on AoM. Connotations on such words are very regional, even into a particular school or family. Certainly she's right when "ladylike" is used in discussions of fashion. I note also that while in no context are manners, etiquette, and protocol more important than in diplomacy, you don't see Clinton or Rice or Albright called "ladylike," though they act politely and with manners. "Maternal," "polite" - but not "ladylike."
Ken thinks calling Shane and I "ladies" is cute. Well, either that or he's trying to rationalize why he's attracted to Shane without admitting to himself he's closeted.
While I see absolutely no point in the scuffles between the three of you (and find you all pretty awesome,) that one was pretty dang funny.
So, Shane, if I'm understanding you correctly, the reasoning is that an individual can be of one "sex" or the other, but if they don't identify with the "gender norm", then it's acceptable for them to behave like a member of the opposite sex?
Depending on the culture, yes. Like I said, gender is cultural. Some cultures are a little more fluid with gender roles than others.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "females-must-only-wear-skirts" type, nor do I think that being super girly is mandatory (or even beneficial/nice to be around). I just feel that sex and gender are more closely tied than most of the others on here appear to.