I'd like to think of myself as a gentleman and I often end up acting more like a male, but at the same time I'm very happy/comfortable being a female.
In your opinion, can a woman consider herself a gentleman? Can she follow the guidelines of what it is to be a gentleman?
What exactly do you think? Yay or nay for the lady-gentlemen, and why exactly?
By 'gentleman' I'm referring to the behavior, as in being polite and your mannerisms and such. Not so much what's in your pants, even though gentlemen happens to be a male pronoun.
And typically women who call themselves ladies are usually preppy and girly, I wouldn't say I'm extremely masculine but I'm certainly not girly.
This isn't about whatever gender I identify as, more so the general idea of women behaving as gentlemen.
"Feel" being the operative word.
Same results. Believe as you wish. Feel as you're compelled. It doesn't change what is known.
There are only a handful of guys who think like Shane regarding sex and gender.
And that handful includes the vast majority of the scientific community who study sex & gender, who, unlike you, actually have a clue.
You phrase this in a way that tells me that you on some level understand the difference between sex and gender (since you put "norm" on the end of gender) yet you still disagree with Shane's view.
sex is what you are biologically, XY = male, XX = female. Mind you, science has taught us that with all the intersex variants out there (XXY, XO, XYY) that this is perhaps an oversimplified view but it works in day-to-day stuff for most things.
Gender is culturally determined. So whereas a Spartan warrior who was more comfortable being naked with other dudes than with his wife would be considered manly in his own culture, he'd be considered feminine in some of ours. Likewise, whereas in North America, a penpusher who wears tailored suits and smokes expensive cigars might be a real man in urban New York, he'd probably be looked at as sort of a girlie girl in some more rough, agricultural environment.
Point is, without drugs and surgery, you can't change your sex, but your gender is decided by your surrounding culture's norms.
No fair using facts and logic.
What he said.
can a woman consider herself a gentleman?
Sure, it seems like today you can do whatever you want. Men act like bratty teenage girls all over television (mostly on Bravo). I'd say aspiring to emulate the virtuous gentleman is quite a bit more productive.
@ Caroline: I've read some of these responses, and most are standard fare for this site. I think what people mainly object to here is your choice of words.
Like a lot of languages, English is gendered, and using gendered words incorrectly is confusing, or at the very least doesn't lend clarity.
Certainly, a woman could be described as acting "mannish." But due to the nuances of meaning, not all words can be used in the same way. I think "gentleman" would fall into that list.
If by "gentleman" you mean, perhaps, courteous, polite, soft-spoken, honorable, or what have you, then why not use those words to describe yourself? They are non-gendered and lend greater clarity than a word like "gentleman" does, as it is more likely to have a different meaning to different people.
I don't think anyone here would deny you the right to behave as courteous, polite, or soft-spoken as you chose, but describing those traits as "gentlemanly" in reference to yourself is inaccurate.