This is my situation.

 

I left my hometown to go to bootcamp and try to make something of myself. So I left to parties from my friends and everyone saying they would write me. So I left my hometown and went to bootcamp. But come three weeks into training I have not received any letter except from my mother. The entire time I was there not a single friend wrote.

 

My question is should I keep these friends as contacts or just move on and try to find new peers? How should I approach finding new peers if needed?

Tags: friendships

Views: 443

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Some friendships work long-distance; some don't. My best friends from college today were generally not my best friends at college when we graduated. But the distance, and life changes, actually helped some friendships and about killed others. And that's with pretty good access to quiet time, the internet, and the phone. Very, very few people can maintain a relationship through the USPS. That skill hasn't been nurtured in 3 generations. Sorry.

Friends, however, are hard enough to come by that I don't encourage writing people off. (no pun intended) You weren't in touch for 3 weeks. No biggy. Try writing them if you're not at home. Include a self-addressed stamped envelope to make it real easy for them. Military addresses are tough if you're not used to them, and no one's used to personal mail anyway. If you're back home, I'd just let it go, but be aware that as you change and your friends change, everyone's going to be losing and making friends. You've got it easier hanging out regularly with dozens of peers, just like when you were in school.

Well I wasn't in contact with them the full 10 weeks. But no I won't be home again except for Leave. So my hometown is kind of left behind.

People just don't write personal letters any more. I'd bet that if you had social media access (e-mail, facebook, etc.) you'd have heard something. So let this be a piece of a larger puzzle. Yes, they didn't put in the extra effort letters now seem to represent. Keep it in mind and move on. See if a pattern emerges with some or all.  

Thanks for your service!

Former 11B1P; 82nd Abn C 1/505

I'm just in A school I haven't done anything yet. But thank you sir!

You stepped up! You, sir, are already part of an elite minority.

I'm sure you've said it before (I seem to remember something about Great Mistakes), but which school are you in?

I write personal letters with a few people and really enjoy it. Seven months ago though I moved to Italy and I couldn't find a writing pad with a lined insert and in the end had to get my family to post one from England. That is the degree to which letter sending is declining. But it isn't gone yet!

Before social media, I still rarely if ever wrote letters to friends.  I'd give a call, or a postcard if I went somewhere.  It just wasn't the thing.  I expect is isn't for them either.

You are out of the circle of their immediate lives.  That does not mean they don't care for or about you.  Simply you are not of the moment.  You can try writing, but as others have said social media might be the way to stay in touch.

The other thing to realize is that when you meet up with them again you will have a few that will still fall into the close friend category, yet most will be strangers you once had a connection with.  Realize that is okay and the way it should be.  I see students not forming friendships in the now at college because they are still trying to maintain friends from the past.

Let them be without derision or anger toward them.  When you see them next have a beer and catch up.

Tis the cycle of life my friend.  Welcome the first of many such changes.

PS. The Irish would have a immigration wake for people going to the new world.  Much like a death, moving to a new place in your life will be kind of like a death.  Close ties will fade, and again that is okay and natural.

Guys rarely write today, and I would put it that even "back in the day" the majority of guys didn't write.

 

One of closest friends and I live 300 miles apart, we see each other a couple times a year, maybe call a couple more times, send maybe 2 emails and there are occasional posts on FB.

 

Even my close friends in town, we will go for weeks if not longer without talking with the exception of FB.

 

You are lonely and you are going through a massive change in your life. It isn't that they don't care, it isn't that you need to move on to new friends, it is just a fact of life that not everyone stays in constant communication.

 

Hell, I work full time, go to school at night, try to do day trips through out Texas at least once a month if not more, but if you were to ask me to write a letter on what I did over the last 3 weeks it would be this....."not much"

One piece of advise, do not spend too much time looking back at old friends. You have enough ahead of you with A school checking into to your first command getting promoted and qualled up. Unfortunately when you go back home a majority of your old friends will be exactly where they were when you left town, living with mom and dad working at wherever they happen to be working at. Most likely they will gravitate towards you when you are home and you will catch up then.

 

I left for Navy Bootcamp about 34 years ago right out of High School (damn I 'm old).  Anyway I knew that people move on (I'd done it all my life being an Air Force Brat).  All I knew was that I would be back after Boot and would visit the people I wanted to visit.  One thing about life is that it is always changing and people come and go in life.  Another thing about life is that other people have lives too and you're not their main focus so get over it, or don't and find new friends.  Either way your life and theirs will go on until you don't.

One other thing, did you write them or just wait for them to write you?

RSS

Latest Activity

Charles Indelicato commented on thehuhman's group Men Over 50
"I hear you, George.  My uncle turns 96 next month... so I get your point.  My point is I haven't made a deal about in over 25 years, and am not about to start now. "
9 minutes ago
George Henry Robbins III commented on thehuhman's group Men Over 50
"Disagree Charles, you should do something special for yourself. You could live to be 100 and now you are just halfway through  life. I am 55 and still participate in sports and other activities. A few months ago I was carded (have good genes).…"
11 minutes ago
Charles Indelicato commented on thehuhman's group Men Over 50
"Elon, I'll celebrate 50 the way I rang in 40 and 30 ... I don't.  Somewhere around 23 or 24 I had a kick-ass party for myself, and then decided that was it - I had celebrated enough.  Since then, I don't do birthdays.…"
19 minutes ago
Jack Bauer replied to Regular Joe's discussion Next In Court: The Christian Student Job Applicant VS The Norse Viking Employer in the group The Great Debate
"No.  That would run afoul of sexual harassment laws and possibly religious mandate laws (depending on whether the Nordic thing was religious).  You can't base employment decisions on sexual favors or participation in…"
1 hour ago
Jack Bauer replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
" "
1 hour ago
Jack Bauer replied to Regular Joe's discussion Next In Court: The Christian Student Job Applicant VS The Norse Viking Employer in the group The Great Debate
"Nonsense.  That case wasn't even a matter of employment law.  It was about unconstitutional healthcare mandates in Obamacare.  There are now exceptions to being forced to pay for somebody else's healthcare…"
2 hours ago
Josh Allen replied to Jack Bauer's discussion What'cha watchin'? Your manly entertainment recommendations, reviews and discussions ...
"Comparing a movie to a game or any other kind of media is silly, movies are linear entertainment where the consumer has no control or input towards what's going on. However, with games you can have a significant effect on the outcome. For…"
2 hours ago
David F. replied to Regular Joe's discussion Next In Court: The Christian Student Job Applicant VS The Norse Viking Employer in the group The Great Debate
"Well it is a side swipe at the opened can of worms that the american supreme court has caused.  The issue is there is no clear line on where sincerely held religious beliefs of private companies end vs employment law. Of course this is…"
2 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service