I'm inclined to say yes. Only people I know that color their hair are women. I'd probably make fun of you for it. But ... just because you get made fun of doesn't mean you can't do it. There are worse fates. Decide for yourself -- then do what you want.
That black coffee idea sounds preposterous, though. If you're gonna do it, just buy hair dye and do it right.
It's unusual. I don't know if I could get by with it. But I'd hate to say you can't do something (morally neutral) because it's unmanly. Maybe depends how much you want it. Men aren't supposed to care that much how we look... yet we do.
Dying your hair isn't unmanly amigo, but fretting over your friend's opinion of your grooming is something you should reflect on. If you want dark brown hair, go for it. Might I suggest trying the coffee on a weekend or a day when you don't have to work.
If you're thinking about coloring your hair, I can't think of a manlier way than using black coffee.
I don't see the problem myself, I know plenty of men who dye their hair and it doesnt look bad. I've been tempted too. My hair is unusually multitone by nature anyway, and since mine grows incredibly thick (no to mention fast) I get stick for it being 'feminine' anyway. If it helps you look at it another way, in some cultures men weren't allowed to cut their hair. Look at Samurai, they often coloured their hair with a jet black solution as well to make their hair almost unnaturally dark.
Never heard the coffee thing (the things you learn here on AOM), but based on this, it sounds kinda complicated (plus I can't imagine shooting cold coffee on my head via a spray bottle; but that's just me). http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080615120117AAOLdVY
The above link is pretty funny, though (use tea for chestnut highlights; no instant coffee; be sure the coffee is not hot -- what is this, McDonald's? -- etc.). One person even posted a video tutorial using Dunkin Donuts coffee (would Eight O'Clock Coffee wear off by noon? Would Starbucks coffee give a more expensive-looking color? I have so many QUESTIONS): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NITO7ZEbzF0
What I haven't seen anywhere is how long this dye job would last. You might want to find that out first in case you don't like the result.
Anyway, I wouldn't dye my hair personally, because once you start it's hard to stop. (Also, my wife likes the gray coming in; I'm just happy I HAVE hair.) To me, it reminds me too much of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSew8xM3L_E
Good luck. If you decide to do it, post before and after photos so we can all learn from your (hopeful) success.
I like my grey.
Ha! That's what I was trying to say.
I don't think it has anything to do with masculinity. My natural hair color is pretty ashy and I prefer it to be darker. My wife (a hairdresser) colors my hair when I request it and I feel no less masculine wearing it the way I prefer. I think striving to be an "integrated man" includes leaving these insecurities about perceived masculinity behind. Also, there is evidence ancient male Egyptians colored their hair dark, contradicting the gender norm you describe.