I'm a freshman in college, and I've met this woman lately who is just absolutely wonderful. The thing is, however, she has been with more people than I have. I've only been with one woman in my past, and so I feel like I'm not experienced enough for her. I really want to continue seeing this girl, but I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do, and I'm afraid that I'm just putting off an air of inexperience. How should I fix this to where I don't seem like a child when I'm with her?
That's the gist of what I've been reading online, but, the thing is, she is just as old as I am, and I guess I just feel like I'm not measuring up to the guys she's been with in the past.
I just feel like I'm not measuring up to the guys she's been with in the past.
I'm not sure what the standard is for measuring up, but even to the extent that you might not have as much experience in life as her former boyfriends, just accept that fact.
You don't get experience in life without taking risks.
What you can't change, you have to accept. That means you also have to accept that if there is anything about you that isn't acceptable to her, she might decide to end the relationship. You can't control her behavior, so you need to accept however she does react to you.
If you can feel comfortable with yourself the way you are, that will actually tend to make you more charismatic--more likeable. The reason is because you'll be less likely to react negatively to what other people say and do. You can just be warm, friendly, and happy, without worrying about what other people think of you, say to you, or act around you.
+1 from another old fart.
Just try to act mature. Don't make emotional split second decisions. Respect her. If she sees you trying to do the right things she'll respect that and might give you a chance. Just don't try too hard and don't try to be someone you're not. Be yourself- your mature self- and flirt with her like you would any other girl.
Thanks! I just really wanna make sure we last, and I feel like sexual compatibility plays a very large part in that.
If your relationship lasts then your sexual relationship will continuously change over time. It'll develop as you gain more experience with her and she gains more experience with you. The fact of the matter is that doesn't make a difference how many people you have each been with. What matters is what kind of lover you are. If you are the type that responds to her, gives her what she wants, and shares with her what you want, then you will both have an enjoyable time in the sack, the shower, the common room, the lawn... wherever...
Just like guys seem to like women who are not the village bicycle, women don't want a guy who has someone in every port.
Your air of inexperience may be what sets you apart from other men in her eyes, and makes you all the more a doorbell.
Relax and be yourself; if it's meant to happen it will.
Regardless of how many people you have been with the one you are with now is different and likes different ways of giving and receiving pleasure, be it in the bed or out on the town.
Experience is over rated because it presumes everyone is the same. Experience will let you be a little more relaxed in situations you have been in before beyond that, it's over rated.
Enjoy your experience with the lovely woman. And to be honest, I suspect she already knows you have less experience then her, yet the world does not hinge on "experience" it hinges on communication and caring for each other.
You are not a child, you are normal and in a relationship. Accept who you are and who she is and enjoy.
Eat a handful of green onions before things get heated.
After undressing, put your shoes back on. Then put your underwear over your head. Women LOVE this.
Of course you'll have Led Zeppelin 4 playing in the background.
Then do the "helicopter" for her. It gets the blood properly flowing to your genitals.
You do all this, and she'll believe you're a player.
Or you could just be honest with yourself and don't be ashamed of your inexperience. I bet that most guys that have the attitude "i know what a woman likes", actually doesn't. Part of the fun is learning each others tastes. Try not to over think it.
There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced. Everybody is at one point or another. As long as you don't oversell yourself, you're fine.
Also ... I'm not sure 'experience' is all its cracked up to be with regard to sex. All safes have different combinations. You don't need the combination to just any safe ... you need the combination to hers. Only experience with her will do the trick ... but, once you've cracked the code, it should work for a good long time. Heh.
Talk to her, being vulnerable is one of the best aspects of an intimate relationship. I don't just mean sexually intimate. I mean emotionally and intellectually intimate, that's the good stuff. That's where a real relationship comes from. If she is absolutely wonderful, then yielding your pride and ego to her will enrich your relationship.
You've been you all your life, that's all the experience you need.