Guys.

I am 27. Since my parents split up 17 years ago my relationship with my Dad has never been the same. I talk to him perhaps once a week and see him maybe twice a year. However, all the affection has gone. Our meetings are very civil but I don't see him as someone "safe" that I could share my problems with.

He remarried about 8 years ago and now takes much more interest in his new extended family than the relationship he has with me and my Sister. I can understand people moving on and he did always encourage me to be independent and not rely on him. However, I really want to have a father-son relationship with him. He is a good man.


Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I have decided that it is now up to me to try and take responsibility for this and try and forge the links between him and the rest of our family.

I need to speak to him soon and offer the olive branch, does anyone have any experience in a similar situation?

Thanks in advance

Peter

Views: 175

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I also like the idea of telling him what you said here.  Of course, he may not want to; but I think it's very possible he'll be delighted.

Been there, although my parents divorced shortly after I joined the military.  For a long time I disliked my father for what he did, even though it was both of their faults I blamed him more than my mother.

I think one of the things that got us back together was the realization on my part that, no matter, what went on between my mother and father it was their deal not ours (the kids').  They didn't divorce because of us or over us.  I also figured that, just like it takes two to make a marriage, it takes two to cause a divorce.  Another thing that helped us get back together was when my little brother was dying.  It struck me that we are so impermanent on this earth that to loose any time by being selfish and holding onto the hurt was simply stupid.  I also discovered that even though my father had a whole 'nother family he still loved us and we were still his kids.  I forgave him for everything that had gone before and let him know I wanted him in my life.  My father, before that, knew I blamed him for the breakup and was ashamed.  He was waiting for me to forgive him and so didn't approach me but let me work it out for myself.

RSS

Latest Activity

Ramona the Pest replied to Belmin Bratic's discussion Martial Arts
"PFFFFT! Let them wonder. None of their business. I have gotten so many "WTF" looks for the weird stuff I do as hobbies, they roll off of me like water off of a duck's back. My daughter is the same way, LOL! You just do you, and let…"
6 minutes ago
Ramona the Pest replied to Regular Joe's discussion Learn a new language for free!
"CONGRATULATIONS JOE, TO YOU AND YOUR WIFE! :D I hope all goes well with the delivery. I myself already speak Spanish fluently. I'm what's known as a "native speaker" since I learned it from my family instead of in the classroom.…"
13 minutes ago
Kev O'Connor left a comment for Earl Foote
"Good morning Earl, I'm honoured to have you on my friends list. Kev :)"
19 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Rusty Rogers's discussion Muscle Cramps at Night? in the group Exercise
"Gentlemen. Muscle cramps can also be caused by electrolyte imbalance.  In particular, low potassium is often a culprit. The cure:  bananas and apricots. One heck of a lot cheaper than a prescription potassium supplement to boot.  Been…"
46 minutes ago
Native Son replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"Seriously, I'm not looking forward to March Madness with bated breath.  I'll watch at least part of it, but it doesn't dominate my life...besides, I've got a ton of my children's rec league baseball and softball to…"
1 hour ago
Christopher Michael Trivett posted a photo
1 hour ago
Shane replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"^truth I was just poking fun since nobody posted up. It is a peculiarity of this place that we don't really follow sports in the forums though. Probably because there are better dedicated sites for that."
3 hours ago
Pale Horse replied to Drew McAuliffe's discussion Any Guys looking forward to NCAA 2015 TOURNEY?
"I figured he might react the way he did, but it was mainly for your sake anyway, since you listed it,"
4 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service