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Permalink Reply by Jess Levens on November 26, 2012 at 12:47pm

You could just tell him exactly what you said here. Is he local? How hard is it to see him logistically? You could always invite him on some sort of weekend trip, whether camping, or Vegas, or whatever. Be honest. Tell him you want some time to bond and that you want a stronger relationship with him.

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Permalink Reply by Will on November 26, 2012 at 12:48pm

I also like the idea of telling him what you said here.  Of course, he may not want to; but I think it's very possible he'll be delighted.

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Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on November 26, 2012 at 2:18pm

Been there, although my parents divorced shortly after I joined the military.  For a long time I disliked my father for what he did, even though it was both of their faults I blamed him more than my mother.

I think one of the things that got us back together was the realization on my part that, no matter, what went on between my mother and father it was their deal not ours (the kids').  They didn't divorce because of us or over us.  I also figured that, just like it takes two to make a marriage, it takes two to cause a divorce.  Another thing that helped us get back together was when my little brother was dying.  It struck me that we are so impermanent on this earth that to loose any time by being selfish and holding onto the hurt was simply stupid.  I also discovered that even though my father had a whole 'nother family he still loved us and we were still his kids.  I forgave him for everything that had gone before and let him know I wanted him in my life.  My father, before that, knew I blamed him for the breakup and was ashamed.  He was waiting for me to forgive him and so didn't approach me but let me work it out for myself.

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