Tags: remarriage, widowhood
Permalink Reply by J. R. Manard on December 7, 2012 at 12:40pm I am not married, but I am engaged. It is likely, that in time, I would remarry. My fiance and I both have discussed this before, and both of us expected the other to resume dating at some point.
Personally, if my fiance were to die soon, I would probably not date about a year. I would take time to focus on myself, my goals and be certain I am happy on my own before bringing someone else into the mix. I would rather make sure I am dating someone because I like them, enjoy their company, am genuinely interested in them etc rather than because I am unable to cope without another person in my life. I think an attitude of "replacing" her would spoil the new relationship in the long run.
That said, I would be even less likely to date if we had young children. I know my own personality type well, and I would likely pour every inch of my being into my children's lives and my work in such a situation. Once the children were older I would be more likely to attempt at dating again.
Permalink Reply by Will on December 7, 2012 at 1:04pm Likely not. I honor those who do, but it took me decades to get this one; by the time I find another one as delightful, I think I'd be too old to do much of anything!
Permalink Reply by AdamR on December 7, 2012 at 1:37pm This is a hard question because I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love my wife, however if I died, I would want her to eventually find someone who would love her and take care of her. If my wife died, I don't know if I would. Not because I think it would be wrong, but simply because I don't think I could love anyone the same way. It would be very hard for me to consider this.
Permalink Reply by StaggerLee on December 7, 2012 at 2:32pm It depends. I will say I have absolutely no objections, there are just so many variables to these "What if?" scenarios.
Oddly enough, at the moment God and I are debating the merits of my becoming a Deacon in the Catholic Church. If I am called, as the jargon goes, then it wouldn't be an option. Remarriage is something I've seriously thought about in that light. I've decide I would like to remarry after a time and if in love again, but not so much so to be a deal breaker for the deaconate.
Permalink Reply by Todd Serveto on December 7, 2012 at 4:52pm I have been married for 26 years now, and I cannot imagine being married to someone else, which I think is only right---frankly, I don't WANT to imagine being married to someone else. As people spend years of time together, they become so intertwined and so much a part of one another that it becomes hard to know where one leaves off and the other begins. I know that we're two different people, of course, but it's "OUR" life, not "my" or "her" life---"OUR" home, "OUR" this or that---you just become a part of one another, and by taking care of her, I'm ultimately taking care of myself.
After a spouse passes away, such a tremendous void is left. I believe in remarriage, BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY. I think that a person needs to take time to grieve and heal---and that's going to take time. It's going to take time to become a whole person in your own right all over again and to truly be marrying someone for who he/she is--not simply as a replacement for what you lost, and when someone remarries too soon, that could happen.
When you've spent years of time together, your late spouse formed part of your identity and is part of the person you have become---that's never going to go away, nor should it. The new spouse doesn't replace the former one--but life goes on, and the new relationship is just that--a whole new phase of life.
Matt Eo replied to Andrew Bennett's discussion The death of neck ties?
Matt Eo replied to Nathan DeParis's discussion Man Mints
Andrew Bennett posted a discussion
Chuck Knight replied to michael mckeown's discussion something for summer in the group Manly Hats!
Chuck Knight commented on Steven C.'s group Exercise
Ivan S replied to Brian Splash's discussion Progress shots in the group Exercise
Ivan S commented on Steven C.'s group Exercise
© 2013 Created by Brett McKay.
Powered by