This was inspired by something I read in Oprah magazine, but whatever.

If your wife passed away, would you remarry? Have you ever talked about this topic with your spouse?

For some, I know, it's an awful, morbid thought. On the other hand, one set of my grandparents discussed the issue openly. Grandpa's sentiment now that it's a possibility for him is different from what it was before Grandma passed away, for whatever that's worth.

And, of course, any wives out there can answer re: husbands.

Tags: remarriage, widowhood

Views: 1470

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I am not married, but I am engaged. It is likely, that in time, I would remarry. My fiance and I both have discussed this before, and both of us expected the other to resume dating at some point.

Personally, if my fiance were to die soon, I would probably not date about a year. I would take time to focus on myself, my goals and be certain I am happy on my own before bringing someone else into the mix. I would rather make sure I am dating someone because I like them, enjoy their company, am genuinely interested in them etc rather than because I am unable to cope without another person in my life. I think an attitude of "replacing" her would spoil the new relationship in the long run.

That said, I would be even less likely to date if we had young children. I know my own personality type well, and I would likely pour every inch of my being into my children's lives and my work in such a situation. Once the children were older I would be more likely to attempt at dating again.

 

Likely not.  I honor those who do, but it took me decades to get this one; by the time I find another one as delightful, I think I'd be too old to do much of anything!

This is a hard question because I can't imagine loving anyone as much as I love my wife, however if I died, I would want her to eventually find someone who would love her and take care of her. If my wife died, I don't know if I would. Not because I think it would be wrong, but simply because I don't think I could love anyone the same way. It would be very hard for me to consider this.

It depends. I will say I have absolutely no objections, there are just so many variables to these "What if?" scenarios.

Oddly enough, at the moment God and I are debating the merits of my becoming a Deacon in the Catholic Church. If I am called, as the jargon goes, then it wouldn't be an option.  Remarriage is something I've seriously thought about in that light. I've decide I would like to remarry after a time and if in love again, but not so much so to be a deal breaker for the deaconate.

I have been married for 26 years now, and I cannot imagine being married to someone else, which I think is only right---frankly, I don't WANT to imagine being married to someone else.  As people spend years of time together, they become so intertwined and so much a part of one another that it becomes hard to know where one leaves off and the other begins.  I know that we're two different people, of course, but it's "OUR" life, not "my" or "her" life---"OUR" home, "OUR" this or that---you just become a part of one another, and by taking care of her, I'm ultimately taking care of myself.

After a spouse passes away, such a tremendous void is left.  I believe in remarriage, BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY.  I think that a person needs to take time to grieve and heal---and that's going to take time.  It's going to take time to become a whole person in your own right all over again and to truly be marrying someone for who he/she is--not simply as a replacement for what you lost, and when someone remarries too soon, that could happen.

When you've spent years of time together, your late spouse formed part of your identity and is part of the person you have become---that's never going to go away, nor should it.  The new spouse doesn't replace the former one--but life goes on, and the new relationship is just that--a whole new phase of life.

RSS

Latest Activity

Matt Eo replied to Andrew Bennett's discussion The death of neck ties?
"I think the neck tie is becoming less popular in some parts of the country and in some professions, but I don't think it will ever go away completely.  I also think a guy's personal appearance is not necessarily based on the type of…"
39 minutes ago
Matt Eo replied to Nathan DeParis's discussion Man Mints
"I am a Tic-Tac guy.  The right size and just enough flavor to pop one every hour or so.  I always have a pack on my desk and coworkers are always asking for them."
1 hour ago
Dallas the Phallus added a discussion to the group Philology: A Group for Verbivores
Thumbnail

Sex Symbols

From the Grammarphobia blog.Q: In a recent radio appearance, you said the idea that “he” can refer to any human being – man or woman – was introduced in the 18th century by a female grammarian. I think you’re wrong. The concept of male as universal has been around much longer.A: If by “male as universal,” you mean using male pronouns (“he,” “him,” and “his”) for women as well as men, the idea did indeed begin in the 18th century.Before then – for two centuries, in fact – it was considered…See More
1 hour ago
Andrew Bennett posted a discussion

The death of neck ties?

I heard that according to researches that the neck tie is expected to become obsolete in the next few decades. Because more and more men are dressing more casually these days thanks to Facebook and google where the CEO shows up in jeans and a hoodie. So is the neck tie really becoming obsolete or are men just not caring about his personal appearance?Please feel free to give your taken on this.See More
1 hour ago
Chuck Knight replied to michael mckeown's discussion something for summer in the group Manly Hats!
"What are you looking for, in terms of style?   Where I live, a "white" straw cowboy hat is very common.  Affordable, too.   "
2 hours ago
Chuck Knight commented on Steven C.'s group Exercise
"Hello, Ivan.  Welcome.  And, thank you for the offer of assistance.  I may have to take you up on your offer."
2 hours ago
Ivan S replied to Brian Splash's discussion Progress shots in the group Exercise
"I just need to lose some fat before I can share any progress pics. I've gained some muscle, but I don't look lean"
2 hours ago
Ivan S commented on Steven C.'s group Exercise
"I started working out a few years ago, but since 2011, I am taking it seriously. I've managed to gain 40+ pounds. I'm interesting in exchanging information to help each other out...anyone?"
2 hours ago

© 2013   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service