I watched the subject movie, I Love You Man, yesterday evening. I found the character of Paul Rudd to be almost identical to who I am today. I've always had a ton of friends, both male and female, however I've been closer to females. I've really never had a man friend who I would share things with. I've always thought men were suppose to be tough, not be emotional, share feelings, etc. --- guess that's my southern upbringing and growing up without a father.

So...short of what Paul Rudd's character does in the movie. What suggestions can you men offer to find a man friend and/or to build that type of relationship with one of my male friends?

Tags: friends, mentor, movie

Views: 73

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Good question. I'm curious to see what kinds of responses you get.

I personally find that it's a lot easier to connect on a real level with the guys at my church, probably because what connects us is a deeply spiritual thing. Christianity encourages us to treat each other as brothers, so we kind of have built-in "permission" to open up to each other on that level.

That being said, the guy that do most of my "guy activities" with is a non-Christian co-worker. We get along great, since we have the same interests, the same sense of humor, etc. BUT, we don't really connect on any real deep levels, and we're complete opposites on most of the serious issues: he's an atheist, I'm a Christian; he leans to the left politically, I lean to the right; he's single, I'm married. Great guy to hang out with for "guy time," but our bond doesn't really go any deeper than inside jokes and shared tastes in entertainment.
get to know other guys, ask questions about them, find common interest, etc.

what are your social circles?>
We actually wrote about this a few months ago: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/10/28/how-to-make-friends/

Also, I Love You Man was a great movie and I think it does a good job of laying out how you develop a friendship like this. Just start hanging out with a guy and doing stuff together.
@Jamie
I can see that since you are opposites in some respects that you can play devil's advocate for each other; that's something you may not get from someone who is identical to you.

@Dave
I think my issue is trying to connect with them; I'm in a fair about of groups/organizations with common interests.

@Brett
Thanks! I'm fairly new to this site and had not seen this post before. I did rather enjoy the movie and it made me realize that I was that guy.
Tom, what social circles are you in? (I am asking because that would dictate how I would recommend you begin new interactions)
Most of my social circles revolve around the central theme of politics. I would say that I'm active in four of them heavily. From a recreational perspective, I am into hiking and I have recently joined AMC (Appalachian Mountain Club) and I'm looking forward to attending / meeting folks in that group. I am also a member of (not very active) two technical user groups (SAP & Linux).
It sounds like AMC is your best place to find some guy friends. Commit to memory what these guys names are and begin conversations.
I'm fortunate that my best friend of 31 years has been the one constant in my life. He has been with me through my military career that had me away from the state for nine years. He helped me through my divorce and has always been right by my side anytime I have needed a pillar of strength. He was my best man as I was for him in our weddings, he has giving me the honor to be his son's Godfather. Just Tuesday when we played golf, I told him that he was the only guy friend I ever had close enough to me to say "I Love You Man"

RSS

Latest Activity

George Henry Robbins III commented on Bruce Uall's group The Shirtless Man
"I am going to an upscale men's clothing store Jos. A. Bank tomorrow. Going to go in shirtless just to see if I get a reaction of some kind or asked to leave. Just curious to see what, if anything, happens. "
9 minutes ago
Alejandro De La Garza commented on Bruce Uall's group The Shirtless Man
"I’ve gone into convenience stores shirtless, mainly just to get a newspaper.  I’ve gone through a restaurant drive-thru shirtless and pumped gas while shirtless.  I used to see men in grocery stores shirtless all the…"
23 minutes ago
Carl Monster commented on Carl Monster's blog post Fair Appearance
"Beloved and much celebrated, according to the station commentary, lol."
31 minutes ago
Carl Monster replied to Regular Joe's discussion Responsibility Towards A Brother
"I would leave it.  Why? Because one day your parents will need help, and he'll be the one to do their cooking and laundry. Otherwise you'll have to arrange for them to move Somewhere, and, take it from me, that is not an easy…"
1 hour ago
Richard A Fairchild commented on Richard A Fairchild's photo
Thumbnail

Me and dad at 4

"I still wear fedora's!  I have a winter one and a summer one.  I also have a short brim style when I want to have that Jazz/ blues look!"
1 hour ago
Richard A Fairchild replied to East London Gent's discussion Girlfriends lies and temper
"The feelings involves in a breakup is like a death of a spouse, in particular where you have time and emotion invested. Your first 6 months will be rough.  You will flip back and forth from anger and hurt, all the way to happiness.  Think…"
1 hour ago
Daniel Rodriguez commented on Richard A Fairchild's photo
Thumbnail

Me and dad at 4

"That's how one wears a fedora. Looking snappy, both of ya."
1 hour ago
Carl Monster commented on Carl Monster's blog post Fair Appearance
"Did you listen in? Lots of technical problems that had nothing to do with us. Still had loads of fun, arriving with my special pass into the farmers' area. So many tractors and huge vehicles under the dusty sky I felt like I was in some movie…"
1 hour ago

© 2014   Created by Brett McKay.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service