I watched the subject movie, I Love You Man, yesterday evening. I found the character of Paul Rudd to be almost identical to who I am today. I've always had a ton of friends, both male and female, however I've been closer to females. I've really never had a man friend who I would share things with. I've always thought men were suppose to be tough, not be emotional, share feelings, etc. --- guess that's my southern upbringing and growing up without a father.

So...short of what Paul Rudd's character does in the movie. What suggestions can you men offer to find a man friend and/or to build that type of relationship with one of my male friends?

Tags: friends, mentor, movie

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Good question. I'm curious to see what kinds of responses you get.

I personally find that it's a lot easier to connect on a real level with the guys at my church, probably because what connects us is a deeply spiritual thing. Christianity encourages us to treat each other as brothers, so we kind of have built-in "permission" to open up to each other on that level.

That being said, the guy that do most of my "guy activities" with is a non-Christian co-worker. We get along great, since we have the same interests, the same sense of humor, etc. BUT, we don't really connect on any real deep levels, and we're complete opposites on most of the serious issues: he's an atheist, I'm a Christian; he leans to the left politically, I lean to the right; he's single, I'm married. Great guy to hang out with for "guy time," but our bond doesn't really go any deeper than inside jokes and shared tastes in entertainment.
get to know other guys, ask questions about them, find common interest, etc.

what are your social circles?>
We actually wrote about this a few months ago: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/10/28/how-to-make-friends/

Also, I Love You Man was a great movie and I think it does a good job of laying out how you develop a friendship like this. Just start hanging out with a guy and doing stuff together.
@Jamie
I can see that since you are opposites in some respects that you can play devil's advocate for each other; that's something you may not get from someone who is identical to you.

@Dave
I think my issue is trying to connect with them; I'm in a fair about of groups/organizations with common interests.

@Brett
Thanks! I'm fairly new to this site and had not seen this post before. I did rather enjoy the movie and it made me realize that I was that guy.
Tom, what social circles are you in? (I am asking because that would dictate how I would recommend you begin new interactions)
Most of my social circles revolve around the central theme of politics. I would say that I'm active in four of them heavily. From a recreational perspective, I am into hiking and I have recently joined AMC (Appalachian Mountain Club) and I'm looking forward to attending / meeting folks in that group. I am also a member of (not very active) two technical user groups (SAP & Linux).
It sounds like AMC is your best place to find some guy friends. Commit to memory what these guys names are and begin conversations.
I'm fortunate that my best friend of 31 years has been the one constant in my life. He has been with me through my military career that had me away from the state for nine years. He helped me through my divorce and has always been right by my side anytime I have needed a pillar of strength. He was my best man as I was for him in our weddings, he has giving me the honor to be his son's Godfather. Just Tuesday when we played golf, I told him that he was the only guy friend I ever had close enough to me to say "I Love You Man"

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