I watched the subject movie, I Love You Man, yesterday evening. I found the character of Paul Rudd to be almost identical to who I am today. I've always had a ton of friends, both male and female, however I've been closer to females. I've really never had a man friend who I would share things with. I've always thought men were suppose to be tough, not be emotional, share feelings, etc. --- guess that's my southern upbringing and growing up without a father.
So...short of what Paul Rudd's character does in the movie. What suggestions can you men offer to find a man friend and/or to build that type of relationship with one of my male friends?
Good question. I'm curious to see what kinds of responses you get.
I personally find that it's a lot easier to connect on a real level with the guys at my church, probably because what connects us is a deeply spiritual thing. Christianity encourages us to treat each other as brothers, so we kind of have built-in "permission" to open up to each other on that level.
That being said, the guy that do most of my "guy activities" with is a non-Christian co-worker. We get along great, since we have the same interests, the same sense of humor, etc. BUT, we don't really connect on any real deep levels, and we're complete opposites on most of the serious issues: he's an atheist, I'm a Christian; he leans to the left politically, I lean to the right; he's single, I'm married. Great guy to hang out with for "guy time," but our bond doesn't really go any deeper than inside jokes and shared tastes in entertainment.
Most of my social circles revolve around the central theme of politics. I would say that I'm active in four of them heavily. From a recreational perspective, I am into hiking and I have recently joined AMC (Appalachian Mountain Club) and I'm looking forward to attending / meeting folks in that group. I am also a member of (not very active) two technical user groups (SAP & Linux).
I'm fortunate that my best friend of 31 years has been the one constant in my life. He has been with me through my military career that had me away from the state for nine years. He helped me through my divorce and has always been right by my side anytime I have needed a pillar of strength. He was my best man as I was for him in our weddings, he has giving me the honor to be his son's Godfather. Just Tuesday when we played golf, I told him that he was the only guy friend I ever had close enough to me to say "I Love You Man"
David Francois is exactly right. I am 22 and have been in the exact same situation since I started college.
The secret is to be continue to be yourself around them. They are your friends and they need you. But don't let them pull you into…"