Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ARK on September 2, 2012 at 10:58pm

Hobby farming is an expensive endeavor. Gardening successfully is often about very deferred gratification (accepting that you're just not getting any tomatoes/oranges/whatever this year and will have to wait until next year to see what happens...by that time the kids will have found something else to do). My father knows next to nothing about car repair; fathers who fix cars teach their sons how to fix cars, and fathers who don't fix cars teach their sons how to find a mechanic who won't (totally) shaft them. 

Something related to home repair would probably be the most practical (bonding time and saving money from not paying someone else to do it). 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on September 3, 2012 at 10:46am

My father would attempt to work with us but it would, usually, end up with our "not doing anything right".  So we stopped.  However, I did learn from him that you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to, so that's a good thing.

If they are in Boy Scouts you can work with them on their projects (as long as they do most of the work), such as the cars, camping, etc.

A small garden is a decent idea just don't let them make it so big they have to spend a lot of time on it (gets boring).  Getting unfinished furniture and having them help you paint or stain it is a good idea and so is having them help you with small home repairs.  Teach them how to change their own oil, drain and fill the radiator, change the light bulbs, and replace their windshield wipers is a good idea as well.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Mudinyeri on October 2, 2012 at 11:09am

Not being taught is a convenient excuse.  As a kid, I was often "thrown" into situations and told simply to "figure it out".  That, my friend, is what builds confidence and capability.  I did everything on your list and more with little-to-no adult supervision from the time I was a teen to the time I left home at 17.

Farming - find a local farmer who is EXTREMELY patient and needs some basic help.

Gardening - if you live in an urban/suburban area, community gardens seem to be growing (pardon the pun) by leaps and bounds.

Woodworking - start simple; take your kids to classes at Home Depot and then challenge them to do something similar (with basic hand tools) on their own with virtually no supervision

Home Repairs - see above

Engine Repair - buy an old lawn mower off of Craigslist and tell them to overhaul the engine

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rick Shelton on October 3, 2012 at 5:40pm

My father often told us to 'figure it out ourselves'.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Rebekah on October 2, 2012 at 12:10pm

I'm confused by what's a "minor household task," what's a chore, and what's a "something." Your list is very much things that they can display outside the home. Being able to do all the household chores seems to me to lead much more directly to independence they can feel than having certain hobbies that produce certain tangible results.

On the other hand, no one taught me how to scrub a toilet or vacuum a floor. I just figured it out once I had my own toilets and floors. Then again, I did need someone to tell me there's special oven cleaner, and there's all those tips out there for removing stains.

So, if you actually want independent kids, teach them to do everything involved in running a household - meal planning, cooking, budgeting, cleaning, laundry. Also the time management for that: "If Mom's birthday is Friday, but Sunday is our last chance to go to the grocery store, we'd better look at cake recipes Saturday, so we can be sure to get any special ingredients."

If you want skills they can display outside the home, teach them to write formal letters (recommending a book to the city librarian, for example). Also cooking, which has skills similar to your list, but faster.

Be aware of the different kinds of intelligences (for lack of a better term). Cooking involves lots of math and sensory discernment. Home repair involves an analytical frame of mind and lots of abstract spacial thinking. There's only so far you can get in music without talent (and tone deafness is real, too). Etc.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on October 2, 2012 at 12:25pm

I'm confused by what's a "minor household task," what's a chore, and what's a "something.

Minor household task: Something the handyman does.

Chore: Something Mrs. Danger does.

Something: Something Mr. Danger puts off until it becomes a minor household task.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jonathan on October 2, 2012 at 12:29pm

Someone mentioned the Haynes manual - those things are great.  I just wanted to add - when I was a teen, I picked up the gumption to wrench a little on my car because one of my friends and his dad were into it.  I've never done full-on "engine" repair, but I've saved thousands of dollars doing my own brakes, alternators, water pumps, belts, etc.  My dad never taught me that stuff.  Teach him how to be careful, and how to read a set of instructions.  They're never totally perfect, but it can be paint-by-number parts replacement a lot of the time.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Carl Monster on October 2, 2012 at 12:33pm

I assume you are looking for what kind of home/property then?

For gardening you don't need much...I gardened since I was little, they let me have a small plot to grow peas and other easy to tend for crops. Just don't buy a totally wooded lot.

I don't know what is offered in your area; but here is more two cents, based on my own childhood and now as a parent;

Walk-ability: I grew up where I could walk/ride my bike into town. It was nice to have a place to go without having to be driven everywhere, such as the library or comic book store.

Nature: you don't need a huge lot, but we had access to plenty of wild areas along a river.

Other kids: I was brought up in a neighborhood that was old demographically, so there were no kids to play with except my siblings. Such isolation did not prepare me well for the school experience of being with other boys, and to this day I feel uncomfortable among groups of my same gender.

I would not agonize too much about hitting all the bases, where there's a will there's a way, and you never know what your kids interests will be.  You could get a place with a shop and automobile lift, only to find your kids would much rather sit in front of a monitor and write code, or play sports all year.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brian Splash on October 2, 2012 at 3:16pm

* farming (but that takes land and tractor) / We had chickens and l still have them now
* gardening, and maybe selling the produce / you can harvest a 3 ft plot for a family of 4
* woodworking/wood finishing / you need only room for a small bench and vice
* home repair or fixup -- maybe we'll get some projects together. / youtube can show you how
* engine repair -- although I know too little to mentor / hobby stores sell small scale motors 

l dont know what type of house you live in but l did all that living at home on a normal house block in the burbs , although l live closer to the city now , l still have enough room to do all those things now , and for the others that have smaller dwellings there are group farming plots the council lease for a minimal fee , the local council also runs " men in sheds " programs on everything from home repair to car rebuilds . l am always learning something new every day , and there are days that my apprentice shows me something he has picked up from someone else that l take on board .

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by JonEdanger on October 3, 2012 at 5:22am

there are days that my apprentice shows me something

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Brian Splash on October 3, 2012 at 3:47pm

Example , on weekends he works with others from his trade school to earn extra cash and he picks up tricks that there bosses use , then uses them on my jobs and if l like it l start doing it .

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jesse Frigo on October 2, 2012 at 11:08pm

Bah.  Find something where you can say, "I don't know this.  Wanna help me figure it out?"  Read a book together, watch some videos, make some plans, and make something happen.  

Teaching your kids how to learn on their own is far more important than any one of those skills.  Then they will never have cause to say, "I can't do anything!" because they will have the confidence in themselves to learn and figure it out.

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page