This is my first post in this forum after lurking for good year or so. I have a problem. The problem is me and I do not know how to handle it.
I am 23 year old, studying History in College. After I finished high school, I been working off and on for two years, mostly very low paid part time jobs. Noone gave me a chance and I did not really enjoy a company of people in those jobs. I decided to go to college, study History because I like it. First I was rejected, second try they accepted me.
Now I am in the middle of exam period and as always I am struglling as much as one can. Ever since I started college I slowly began to hate History and.. still there were classes which I enjoyed so after two years you could easily see I was most active student among those who studied along me, during seminars I was more active than all of rest of students together. Funny part is ,out of 30 students, 21 were kicked already and from rest of those 7 (excluding me) not even one want to be a real historian, yet their grades are hundreed perccent better than mine. When it comes to exams I just failed badly. I have trouble keeping focus on studying and I am always procrastinating and then I am mad at myself cuz I did not study.. and all over again like a vicious circle.
The problem is ...I do not want to get kicked, but I can not find a will to study. And it is all just getting worse and worse. I do not know what to do. I feel like I am not happy in my life but I am scared to change it and I believe that is what affects my studium as well. It is like I lost thread of life.
I am probably not even asking for help, just needed to tell someone. Thank you for bothering.
Is studying something else a option for you?
Probably yes, but I fel like I am 24 but achieved nothing. So I do not want to spend another years in college, especially when situation in Europe is like... You may have degree but it is not enough to get a job.
I'd dare argue for you it might be a lifestyle issue. Poor diet, no exercise, lack of a proper social circle or girlfriend. It can be an array of things and everything just collectively eats at your motivation to study..
Many times I thought that too. I am strong introvert. If I meet people who fits me well I have no problems but most people are not my cup of tea. (Someone said that if I meet idiots whole day, it is me who is idiot, so I consider this option as well.)
Oh and gf.. I only had two "real" relationships.. both ended in cheating. (from their side ofc)
I would say I do not trust people anymore.
I'm betting it wasn't Judge Smail's glove...
"Amazing" may be an overstatement. Certainly notable, though.
I think I even had passion.. at beginning. But you know, it just disappeared after some experience I had with people who are there to teach you something. But that is whole different story.