Hello, gentleman.
This is my first  post in this forum after lurking for good year or so. I have a problem. The problem is me and I do not know how to handle it.

I am 23 year old, studying History in College. After I finished high school, I been working off and on for two years, mostly very low paid part time jobs. Noone gave me a chance and I did not really enjoy a company of people in those jobs. I decided to go to college, study History because I like it. First I was rejected, second try they accepted me.

Now I am in the middle of exam period and as always I am struglling as much as one can. Ever since I started college I slowly began to hate History and.. still there were classes which I enjoyed so after two years you could easily see I was most active student among those who studied along me, during seminars I was more active than all of rest of students together. Funny part is ,out of 30 students, 21 were kicked already and from rest of those 7 (excluding me) not even one want to be a real historian, yet their grades are hundreed perccent better than mine. When it comes to exams I just failed badly. I have trouble keeping focus on studying and I am always procrastinating and then I am mad at myself cuz I did not study.. and all over again like a vicious circle.
The problem is ...I do not want to get kicked, but I can not find a will to study. And it is all just getting worse and worse. I do not know what to do. I feel like I am not happy in my life but I am scared to change it and I believe that is what affects my studium as well. It is like I lost thread of life.

I am probably not even asking for help, just needed to tell someone. Thank you for bothering.

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Is studying something else a option for you?

Probably yes, but I fel like I am 24 but achieved nothing. So I do not want to spend another years in college, especially when situation in Europe is like... You may have degree but it is not enough to get a job.

I'd dare argue for you it might be a lifestyle issue. Poor diet, no exercise, lack of a proper social circle or girlfriend. It can be an array of things and everything just collectively eats at your motivation to study..

Many times I thought that too. I am strong introvert. If I meet people who fits me well I have no problems but most people are not my cup of tea. (Someone said that if I meet idiots whole day, it is me who is idiot, so I consider this option as well.)

Oh and gf.. I only had two "real" relationships.. both ended in cheating. (from their side ofc)

I would say I do not trust people anymore.

I'm betting it wasn't Judge Smail's glove...

Those are amazing. ..

"Amazing" may be an overstatement.  Certainly notable, though.

 

JB

Just that right size, shape, spaceing, everything... if it's an overstatement, it is much of one...
I'd argue your problem is that you like history, but don't have a passion for it. You don't live and breathe for history.

Why are the other kids grades better, even though they don't love history? Because they are passionate about what their degree is and history is a requirement.

Find what you are passionate about.... i mean truly, this stuff is your life kind of passion... When you start working towards that degree, certification, or whatever... you will find the procrastination all but disappears.

I think I even had passion.. at beginning. But you know, it just disappeared after some experience I had with people who are there to teach you something. But that is whole different story.

True passion... One you can make a living from... doesn't go away that easily.

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