Art of Manliness

Hugs

Fellas,

I wanted to start a discussion specifically about hugs and how they're viewed and utilized (or not utilized) by the modern man.

Personally, I shy away from real hugs with almost everyone except my mother on occasion and a girlfriend if I have one. I rarely hug my father or brother and never my best male friends (of which there are two). Of course I do the one armed thing with guys as a greeting sometimes if the situation calls for it. But beyond that I don't ask for hugs, though I will give them out if someone needs one (specifically a girl...). I have hugged my best friend once when we left for college for the first time. It was quite awkward and was fast; not a 'true' hug.

I guess I shy away from hugs because I fear I'll be perceived as weak and unable to handle myself emotionally if I'm always reaching out for them. However, I'd love to get more hugs than I'm getting now, which is about 0 on any given day, but I don't want to ask anyone, a guy or girl, for a hug. I guess there's a stigma attached to guys always getting hugs- but is that stigma justified or not?

So what do you guys do about hugs? Do you ever reach out for them? Or do you ignore hugs until the situation calls for it- be it comforting a girl, expressing affection in a relationship, or hugging a family member?

Should guys continue to shy away from hugs or should we embrace them? (Pun fully intended) What is the manly thing to do? How should men handle hugs?

-DJ

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Permalink Reply by Lex on April 25, 2012 at 9:22pm

I try to base it on the individual. If a friend is squeemish, I'll give him a pass.

But as a general rule, if I consider you a friend, you're getting a hug.

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Permalink Reply by MarkTalbert on April 25, 2012 at 9:25pm

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Permalink Reply by MarkTalbert on April 25, 2012 at 10:33pm

My son loves hugs a lot. Glad he still loves to snuggle and give and receive hugs. Hug your kids as long as they will let you.

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Permalink Reply by Mike S. on April 25, 2012 at 9:35pm

My dad grew up in a jewish/italian/hunky neighborhood, so he has always been a hugger. This has rubbed off on me, but not quite as much. I do hug most of my close guy friends when I see them (which is rarely) and all my girl friends. Hugging family members is a given, but I try to avoid them slobbering all over me too, because the kissing habit was also picked up. That isn't one I am a fan of.