First off, for the few who may somehow remember me from a few months ago, it's good to see you again. I've been told that I like to romanticize my stories, so I apologize ahead of time for what could be a long post. I'm just in the mood to use these early hours to project some thoughts for anyone who cares to listen.

I am a young man in my early 20's that has always been raised and taught that many of the old ways are, and always will be, the best. Whether it's in how I dress, how I eat, my work ethic, or how I speak, my parents, grandparents, and a couple of close uncles made sure I was given a good example to follow. I have no problem with progression and a safe sense of open mindedness, but there are still some issues I've seen first hand as an adult where I feel like our society and culture are completely broken, and don't look to get better any time soon. One of those issues being the art (or should I say lost art) of proper communication and etiquette. 

I have a new part time job to help pay for school where I am constantly working right in the middle of people several years my junior. Because of the facility that it is, I see many families together and therefore see how the different generations engage one another in conversation, and how truly depressing it is to me. I realize that some are simply not good conversationalists, but it has also gotten to the point where people can barely get points across, and that's if the point is even worth getting across to begin with. I have never been one to curse or use foul language, and therefore am more turned off by it than most, but I truly feel that the increased use of it has helped many (youths especially) to become lazy and thoughtless with their words. Now I grew up with adult males in the family using those "four letter words" as we call them, especially when they were together and a little alcohol was there to lighten the spirit, but they knew there was a line you didn't cross. It was an unspoken rule, but a definite rule none the less. When ladies enter the room, you straighten up and speak properly. 

Yesterday I was in the company of four young adults, two boys, two girls. When one of the two boys stepped outside to jump in the conversation, he immediately started in with some very foul language. The kind of mouth you don't kiss your mother with for sure. The other went right along with it, and we had two young ladies no older than 17 listening to these two boys talk about their own genitalia in a jokative, yet very crude manner. It was at this point that the "old man" in me kicked in, and I got onto both of them for speaking that way in front of the two young ladies. I was made fun of for the rest of the evening by the two boys as being "injected with the 70's". Though being considered old fashioned has never been an insult to me, it still was incredible to me how young people speak to one another with no regard to what were once definite manners. I don't think it's any surprise that these people who grow up together rarely end up having deep respect for one another.

It seems that much of those hard and fast rules that the adults taught us even as little as ten years ago have suddenly faded away, and with it, I see a decline in our society. There is little to no accountability. Regardless of the situation, it is always someone else's fault, and common respect is completely out the window. The adults talk and the kids refuse to listen. They have no idea that what they are doing is wrong, because no one has ever bothered to tell them it is, and it has given birth to a world where 12 year-olds run around seeing no problem with crude sexual innuendo emphasized with the use of F bombs. While I do feel that foul language should most always be completely avoided, I don't believe my concern for poor communication can be solved just by cutting out the colorful words. I think it runs much deeper than that. I think it's about time more people start saying to these young, hopefully promising adults that you don't talk like that in front of a lady. 

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Are you asking a question or just ranting about "bad language" while not realizing the most women are simply adults, many of which will out cuss a sailor?

Kids have never listened.

People have always cussed

People have always talked at each other rather than with each other

12 year olds only have crude sexual innuendo to talk about. 

Communication is optimal when you can get to a point quickly.

Depends on the woman and situation. One of my closest friends is my polar opposite: sex, spirituality, and speech. I've never heard her curse and don't expect her to, and adjust myself accordingly. On the other hand another close friend is a all-around urban skater chick who curses with no remorse, and I am as liberal thereof with her. All in all, a man should observe and act accordingly: not mimicry, but just a compromise for a better time to be had for all at hand.

Well duh. Art of Manliness could be summed up as "Know your audience, know your surroundings, act accordingly" But that just isn't fun.

"you don't talk like that in front of a lady."

What about in front of a man?

What if it's two ladies speaking to another? Can they each, respectively, only curse when addressing men and no other women are present?

I have seen examples of people who curse and yet communicate quite effectively. How can this be explained?

Usually not from the side. If you do speak from the side, adjust to avoid embarrassment and public shaming from other males.  

So you attack the person and call that a win? That's not a win. You're just yelling, getting a reaction, and having your little hormones give you a little boast for being the loudest monkey than anything of substance.

When the Buddhist monks in Tibet debate theology, they consider the monk who "won" the debate the true loser, because he ended where he started out, but the other monk learned and grew from the experience, and  thus became closer to enlightenment. 

But don't people learn something out of debating one way or another regardless of who is the winner and the loser?

Not always. If there isn't a genuine mutual desire to learn and a mutual ability to accept that one's position might be incorrect then it's just playing chess with a pigeon. The only thing you learn in those situations is that, in many cases, it's not worth debating with a lot of people.

The Daoists have a great image of living life like water. Instead of trying to force yourself on things and people, the Daoist sage would say to remain flexible, and act in accordance with what the situation demands, adapting to your environment, like water gently flowing downhill. Probably one of, if not the wisest thing I've ever heard.


Though for what it's worth, water isn't 'so adaptable' that it has no form, it retains its form, unlike ice, which breaks under pressure.


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